My Father

[sschemering]

My 76 year old father has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is scheduled for the Whipple surgery today. My father's symptoms have been manifesting themselves over the last couple of years. Firstly, there was the dramatic weight loss, depression and back ache and more recently he developed jaundice. He lives in the states and fortunately is in the 20% where the surgery can be done. He is being cared for by my step-mum, who is not in the best of health herself. I was just wondering if anyone had any helpful tips and suggestions as to how to cope with the aftermath. I know that his recovery cannot be predicted as it all depends on the individual, but one of my major concerns is about his diet. As it is he has been living on cheerios and not much else and he complains about the nasty taste that he always has in his mouth. Another of my concerns is the depression. My father has not always been a "My glass is half full" kind of guy and I'm concerned that it will be a case of mind over matter. I have read the stories of people who have already been through this themselves and the information was most helpful and inspiring. Although, any feedback would greatly be appreciated.

[DRAD3]

Hello there - so sorry to hear about your father. I do hope his surgery goes OK today and he recovers well. I am sorry, but I do not have any direct experience of the whipples procedure but am sure that others, who have, will give you the information and help you need. It would also be worthwhile ringing the support team, as I am sure they will also be able to help. There is some information on the site with regards to diet (home page, page down and click on publications - there is a section regarding diet and the whipples under the diet and living with PC - hope this is useful).

I am not sure what services your father can access in the U.S. to help him with his depression, but as you say, it is certainly a good deal to do with mind over matter, and being positive can only help - this must be hard though and perhaps your father is just overwhelmed with everything at the moment and needs some time to recover physically from the effects of jaundice etc and, of course, major surgery as well as to come to terms with it all emotionally and psychologically - such a lot to cope with - I do hope he can get some help with this.

You must be so worried about him and feeling helpless and I hope that you find the support you need too - we can at least listen, understand and care.

Do keep us posted - hoping that all goes well for your father today.

with love

Deb

x

[sschemering]

Thank you ever so much for your post Deb, it was just what the dr ordered. I have spoken to my step-mum and they have removed the tumor and are beginning the reconstructive phase of the pancreas. So, so far so good. I suppose only time will tell. I appreciate your kind words and suggestions. I will definitely keep you posted on his progress. Susan

[DRAD3]

Great news - keeping everything crossed that it all continues well. Take care and try not to worry (easier said than done, I know!) xxx

[J_T]

Wishing all continues well for your father Susan

[sschemering]

Thank you ever so much JT. I'm hoping to hear from my step-mum when he's in recovery and our of surgery. Why is it when something like this happens minutes feel like hours and hours feel like days. Susan

[suef]

Dear Susan,

I had a Whipple operation about 3 years ago to remove a tumour on the head of my pancreas. The surgery lasted 8 hours, and I was in intensive care for 2 days before being moved to a ward. I was not allowed to eat or drink for 10 days, just fed by tube. That allowed the body to heal. I was in hospital for 3 weeks.

I have made an excellent recovery. I take enzymes to help me digest my food, about 15-20 Creon 25000 pills each day. I try not to eat fatty food. I was interested to hear that your father has been living on Cheerios, presumably with milk. I find that I cannot digest much milk and I hardly have any at all as I find it too fatty. I can digest yoghourt and have a low fat plain yoghourt every day. For the rest I eat simple food: steamed fish & vegetables, a little fruit. For breakfast I have porridge made with water, often with a yoghourt. It might sound like a really boring diet but in fact it is very soothing and I do well on it! Oh, and no alcohol at all!

Do keep in touch and don't hesitate to ask all the questions you want. We are happy to help.

Good luck!

Sue F

[sschemering]

Thank you ever so much to everyone that has responded to my post I really do appreciate you all caring so much. My Dad is out of surgery and in recovery. The surgeon is very pleased with the results and the surgery took less time than anticipated:

Sue:

Thank you very much for sharing your experience with me. It's so nice to fully understand what my father can expect over the next few days and few weeks. We all received a pamphlet that went into great detail, but when you are anticipating a loved one going through such an experience sometimes it's difficult to take it all in.

Actually, funny enough my Dad eats his cheerios dry without milk he prefers them that way. I did mention to my step-mum about my dad needing the medication that you refer to, and she was very familiar with it.

Your diet doesn't sound boring it sounds very healthy and if it works for you all the better. My Dad never has been a big drinker so I don't think refraining from drinking alcohol will be a big deal. I think besides the food I'm very concerned about him falling into a deep depression I just hope that he is up for the recovery mentally.

Thank you very much for caring it means an awful lot to know that I'm not going through this by myself. Today I couldn't sit still thinking about what was happening to my Dad and not being there to help him through it. Susan xx

[DRAD3]

Great news Susan - so glad all went well. Small steps now but I am sure he will recover well and hopefully feel a little bit more positive, especially with the surgery going well. So difficult for you, being so far away, you must feel so powerless and frustrated and I really feel for you. Keep posting as you can be sure you will not feel alone, at the very least.

lots of love

Deb

x

[Sones]

So pleased your dad is doing well. I had whipple surgery in Oct 2011 following a diagnosis of a cancerous tumour in the head of my pancreas. I was able to be moved from the high dependancy ward after only a few hours and was discharged on day 5. My husband looked after me with meals drinks etc for about two weeks then I was able to walk the dog and take care of myself albeit all tasks were performed very slowly.

Luckily I'm not diabetic and eat almost what I like but I do take Creon and questron. It's no walk in the park and I have had numerous problems along the way, including having pneumonia and pleurisy recently but its worth it to still be here.

I do wish your dad well and hope he's home soon.

Sue.x

[sschemering]

I cannot thank you ladies enough for sharing your personal experiences and life lessons with me. It has helped so much to know that someone has been there before. I am thrilled to say that my Dad has made so much progress that they have removed some of his tubes, i.e. oxygen and the tube that disposes of the bile. I think the reason for this is he tried removing his tubes himself yesterday evening. I am hoping as with all your experiences that each day gets a little better. I'm so hopeful and glad that he has been given a second chance as he has so much to live for. He is about to become a GREAT GRANDFATHER...

Thank you, once again for being there to share. It feels so good to know that I am not alone. I am delighted to hear that even though there may have been set backs along the way, that everyone is doing well.

Susan XX

[DRAD3]

Another good day, Susan, so good to hear...and wonderful news about impending great-grand-fatherhood! As you say, so much to live for. Sending love.

Deb

x

[suef]

Am so glad he is doing well! Remember we are here if you need us xx

[sschemering]

My poor Dad is now in Intensive Care as his lungs filled with fluid and they think he has pneumonia. They are also going to do a CAT scan to check to make sure that he didn't have a stroke during the surgery, as he still continues to be very disoriented and confused. I know that there was a possibility of pneumonia, but I was wondering if the confusion/disorientation is something that should be a concern. I'm so worried about him. My Dad was a bricklayer for near on 40 years and was always tougher than old boots. It's awful when you see your parents going through this, you always think that they are going to last forever....

[KATB]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear he is going through a rough time

I do hope the doctors can get his pneumonia treated - I have everything crossed that this is just a bump in the road for you and that your dad comes out the other side as well as possible. Sending you all the positive vibes.

I know what you mean about watching your parent go through this. I'm 40 and always considered myself luckier than most of my friends as my dad is only 61 and my mum 62 while all my friends' parents are well into their 70s and 80s. Here was me thinking how lucky I was to have parents that are young, fit and healthy and likely to be around to see me well into my own old age and to see my children get married and have kids! Not even 12 months ago my dad was in Florida with us riding the scariest rollercoasters and throwing himself down the maddest waterslides with my kids. One of my 12 year old's friends saw my dad watching them play football just before Christmas and said 'are you Tom's uncle?'. NOTHING could have prepared me for what we are facing now. It's like living in a parallel universe isn't it? So surreal and just heartbreaking. My dad is the absolute rock of our family. I might be 40 with my own husband and kids but I still go to him for advice, as do my brothers and my mum. To see him suffering with this hideous disease is killing me but this forum is the hugest help - just to know everyone here is right there along with you is a comfort.

Sending you much love and strength and an ear to listen whenever you need it.

Kate

x

[DRAD3]

So sorry to hear this Susan - I do hope that he is feeling better soon. I guess there is always a risk of complications after surgery but hopefully the hospital are doing lots of tests and sorting it all out. Do keep us posted won't you and we will keep everything crossed that he recovers and of course send you all lots of love.

Deb

x

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Susan,

So very sorry to hear about your dad being in intensive care.

This is a huge operation, and of course, any operation can have complications, especially where the person is then confined to limited mobility, and have complicated drains etc...Pneumonia is really a serious chest infection, and chest infection is a major complication of surgery. It is quite common, and can be due to the fact that there has been abdominal surgery, therefore causing pain on coughing, breathing deeply and expanding the lungs etc...There will be dedicated chest physiotherapists who will work with your dad to help with these problems. He will also, no doubt, be on intravenous antibiotics, possibly nebulisers to assist in opening the airways, oxygen to maintain the blood oxygen levels, and probably intravenous fluids to maintain hydration.

Lets hope the combined treatments will work very well for your dad. He is, for sure, in the best place, so try not to worry. I am sure they will do everything they can to speed his recovery.

In the meantime, you have some great support on here, so do use them, and we also have a live chats coming up as per link: http://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/information-and-support/live-chat

Do feel free to log on and get chatting to others in a similar situation to yourself.

Kind regards,

Jeni.