Dad has been admitted to hospital

[Morwenna]

Well Dad finished his first cycle of chemotherapy last Tuesday so now has a week off before seeing the oncologist. He has tolerated the treatment well so far although today out of the blue he rang me and said he's not feeling well and had spent all of yesterday in bed and that he's jaundice again! So they had the doctor out who suspected infection as his temperature was up so they called for an ambulance and have taken him into hospital!!

Does anyone else have experience with infections that cause jaundice? He had a stent put in in November, could it be blocked and have caused infection?

Things were going pretty well and now this!! I'm feeling really anxious about it all. I dont know what to do with myself!

He has just rang and said he's having strong antibiotics by a drip and has had all sorts of tests done including a chest x-ray!? What is going on?? I feel so frustrated and useless.

Sorry for babbling on but i know i can do that on here and people understand.

Sending you all big hugs

Morwenna

[laura]

hi morwenna, so sorry to read the news on your dad, i cant help much about your questions, but i know that some people, some times, do get infections, particularly high temps after chemo, this could simply be a blip, and am sure you agree, dad is in the best place?

i am sure he will get good attention, and tests will be thorough, his oncologist is on hand at truro, all good things!!

i do understand you worrying, and nothing you personally can do at the moment, try take a deep breath, let the professionals do their job, and that leaves you to support dad, as you have been doing, 'cos exspect dad is worried and will be looking to you for something positive. keep us updated wont you?

sending strength and love to you both, laura xx

[petra]

Hi there, try not to worry too much my dad was readmitted less than a week after his stent with severe infection and ? Blocked. Stent they can block off easily so the tests will be to determine the source of the infection the chest x ray to rule out a chest infection, then dad waas admitteeed again after a chemo cycle with an infection due to low white cell count they pumped him with antibiotics and something called gcsf which helps the bone marrow to produce a certain kind of white blood cells which are lowered by chemo, sounds like he is getting the best treatment!! Its horrid to see your dad unwell in hospital I know, stay strong much love P xxx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Morwenna,

Sorry to hear about your dad - I will email you.

Jeni.

[Morwenna]

Thanks for the replies, and thanks for the email Jeni, great information as always.

Spoke to the nurse on Dad's ward and she didn't tell me much apart from he is waiting to have some observational tests done and an ultrasound scan and that he was quite comfortable.

I did manage to speak to Dad on the phone this evening and he said he had been on a drip all night but wasnt anymore and that he hadn't seen anyone apart from the doctor first thing this morning and he couldn't really tell me what the doctor had said!

Although he did say he was feeling better and had some colour in his cheeks today.

My step mum seems to think he has blood poisoning but Dad says they haven't mentioned that!! It's all quite confusing and the nurses wont tell me much over the phone so i'm just hoping I might be able to get down to the hospital tomorrow evening after work and find out whats going on!!!

I know he's in the best place but it's so hard when you don't know whats going on, thankyou for all your kind words and I hope you and your loved ones are doing ok.

Will keep you posted

Much love

Morwenna

[DRAD3]

Hi Morwenna

I hope your Dad is feeling better. It is not unusual for infections to occur and hospitalisation. My husband was admitted a couple of times and on both occasions was given IV antibiotics and put on a drip. He used to hate being in hospital just because he could never get any sleep (too noisy and busy!) but they always sorted out the infection. They will also check lots of other things while he is there so I am sure they will rectify whatever was making him feel poorly.

I know it is very difficult - the nurses tend to say very little and the doctors only come around every now and again so you spend most of time trying to make sense of very little information! Do try to be patient and hopefully all will be well.

Let us know how he gets on.

lots of love

Deb

x

[Catherine]

Hello Morwenna,

How is your dad getting on?

My mum was admitted yesterday after chemo, and I just wanted to let you know that within an hour of admission she had had a chest x-ray and all the things you talk about with your dad. I thought it might reassure you a bit that it seems to be normal practice. When I spoke to the nurse last night she explained that often with 'their' patients they can not find the source of infection so cover all angles. Also that a chest infection is sometimes not seen in symptoms and that's why they x-ray.

Lots of love

Catherine xxxx

[Morwenna]

Hi All

Well I havent been to see Dad in hospital yet as everytime i speak to him he says not to bother visiting as he doesnt feel well enough for chatting. I spoke to him yesterday and he wasnt feeling great and had terrible diarrhoea which im assuming is a side effect from the intravenous antibiotics. He was waiting to have an ultrasound scan to see if his stent is blocked.

I managed to speak to the doctor on the ward who has been looking after Dad earlier and she said his bloods are a lot better today and that he is having an ERCP tomorrow to either unblock or put in a new stent in and that he should be able to come home tomorrow, I just hope he can as when I spoke to him just now and asked if he was feeling better he said not really and didn't think he would while he was in hospital!!

So hopefully he will ring me tomorrow to pick him up, i'm dreading seeing him as I know he will look awful and it really upsets me to see him looking so old and poorly but I have to find some strength from somewhere...

Thinking of you all and sending hugs xx

Morwenna

[Morwenna]

Hi Catherine

So sorry to hear your mum has also been admitted, what a rollercoaster journey this is!! Thankyou for the info it does reassure me. Has your mum also got an infection then?

Keep me posted on her progress I will be thinking of you both... and sending you love and hugs xx

Morwenna

[DRAD3]

Hi Morwenna and Catherine - I hope your Dad and Mum are feeling better very soon. Although hospitals are great for urgent care and rectifying problems they are certainly not great for mental health or emotional wellbeing and they are not the best place for rest and peace so I do hope that they both get the practical help they need in order that they can get home where they can start feeling happier. Thinking of you and hoping that you are taking care of yourselves at this worrying time and finding the strength you need.

lots of love

Deb

x

[Catherine]

Oh bless your dad Morwenna, it sounds like the infection got hold of him for a little while. Good news on the bloods and fingers crossed he can come home tomorrow. I am sure you are already planning things to cook him. It must be awful not seeing him and not really knowing what is going on. Hopefully he won't look as bad as you fear when you see him, he will have been on IV fluids the whole time which will have helped him even if he is not eating a lot.

My mum is also having an ultra sound to check her stent - it sounds like these are the things they do. My mum was quite lucky as she got a temperature towards the end of her chemo yesterday. She only felt unwell for about an hour and was admitted straight away. They are keeping her for a few days as her sugars all over the place with chemo and steroids so are wanting to see if her new insulin levels do the trick.

Thank you Deb for your kind words, as ever you always say the right things at the right times. xx

[laura]

hi morwenna, sorry dads still not back on form, as deb says hes sure to feel loads better when back on his own territory, shame he didnt want you to visit, when you so badly needed to.

parents eh!! not much between us and kids sometimes lol

we are at hosp tomorrow for bri's results, shame cud have looked in on your dad, [ if he had wanted of course ]

wishing you all the best, love laura xxxx

thinking about you and yours catherine, hope things soon settle down for you as well, always seems something doesnt it?

sorry not posted individually, or much recently, just having bit difficulty doing anything much at mo,

thinking of everyone on here; lots of love laura xxx

[Morwenna]

Thankyou Deb, Catherine and Laura,

Dad was booked in to have his stent done at 7am!! Haven't heard anything yet so just waiting.

Catherine you are right about the infection taking a hold of Dad, unfortunately he is one of these men that just suffers in silence and thinks if he ignores it it will go away. It sounds like he started with a temperature on Friday and didn't call the doctor until Sunday afternoon!

I didn't realise he wasn't well as me and the boys have all had flu so were keeping well away from him and on the phone he said he was 'ok'. I'm thinking if I had seen him I would of realised he wasn't well and could of done something sooner, but hopefully now he will realise how important it is for him to keep an eye on his temperature when he doesn't feel well!!!

I am looking forward to getting him home and feeding him up, will keep you all posted. Keep us updated on your mum Catherine, and Laura do let us know how bri gets on today.

You are all in my thoughts... (((Hugs)))

Morwenna x

[DRAD3]

Hi all - how is everyone today? Hoping that you and yours are OK. How did Bri get on Laura? I do hope he is continuing to do well. How are you? You sound low, not surprisingly - you've had a rotten time. Sending you lots of love, and don't you isolate yourself if you feel down - get on here and offload to your forum family - that's what we're here for! Thinking of you all.

Deb

x

[Morwenna]

Hi Deb

Well Dad had a metal stent put in this morning but hasn't been allowed home as there was some bleeding during the procedure, but he is insisting he is coming home tomorrow!!

I hope he is well enough to come home tomorrow as I don't think he's coping very well in there.

Laura, how did it go with bri today? Hope you are both ok...

Morwenna xxxx

[DRAD3]

Hi Morwenna

Sorry to hear that your Dad is being kept captive! It is so difficult, I know, but obviously important that he is kept under a watchful eye if things haven't gone completely to plan. I am guessing that they will want to keep him the extra day to make sure all is well and discharge him for the weekend (they do tend to want to keep inpatient numbers down over the weekend). I do hope all is well tonight and things have gone to plan. I hope you are OK too as I am sure you are worrying and wanting him to just be where he wants to be and feeling happier.

Take care

Deb

x

[jacquik]

Hi Morwenna, just to say my thoughts are with you. My dad had a metal stent fitted in september last year after having jaundice and infections repeatedly and he couldn't have surgery and chemo wouldnt give him any more time. It helped for quite a while. Hope your dad is feeling better, I know how you're feeling, Jacqui

[Morwenna]

Thanks Deb and Jacqui

Dad is finally home, he came home yesterday afternoon. I spoke to him on the phone and he said he was feeling a bit better but that doesn't mean a lot really as he will say that however he is feeling! So he has had a metal stent put in this time, I take it with metal ones they are less likely to get infection?

I'm certainly hoping he has learnt his lesson now and that he won't ignore the signs if it happens again, he said to me that he never wants to go into hospital again, ever! So hopefully he will keep a better eye on himself.

I have 2 boys ages 4 & 7 who adore their grandad and vice versa so they are going to do him some drawings and we will take them down to see him later, i'm sure it will do my dad the world of good to see them, and we are going to bake him a cake and a nice homemade beef casserole as he needs feeding up again now!

Thankyou for all being there as always, you are all a great support..

Much love

Morwenna

[Catherine]

Hello Morwenna,

I'm really pleased your dads home. I knew you'd be making him some food! I'm sure he'll love being with you and your boys - that's what it's all about. I really hope he's not feeling too bad. My mum came home too yesterday, as soon as the diabetic nurse said 'yes' I got her packed and out within 10 mins before they tested anything else. If your dad has been on a ward similar to mums it's like home from home with the most amazing staff. It's a shame he wouldn't let you visit as I'm sure you would have been reassured and slept easier knowing he was in the best possible hands. My mums got a metal stent, and her scan showed it was working well - though it's got a couple of stones in. She's had no problems with it at all, and the source of infection remains one of life's little mysteries. Although when she came out of hospital the last time the wound weeped a bit - check with your dad re wound care, has he got a district nurse coming to change the dressing? I really hope he has as you say learnt his lesson re letting something get hold of him - I'm quite sure if my mum hadn't been at chemo when she showed signs of an infection she would have 'held on' too to see what happened. They are stubborn aren't they? I had to get stern with her in the toilets and say now look you're staying here. My dad colludes with her for an easy life! They're hard work at times aren't they?

Have a lovely visit today. Lots of love Catherine xxx

[DRAD3]

Hi Morwenna and Catherine - great news that you have your parents home where they belong and I am sure you are spoiling them rotten this weekend!

lots of love

Deb

x

[Morwenna]

Well we visited Dad yesterday and he actually looked better than i'd expected, he had some colour in his cheeks although he's still painfully thin. I was armed with a freshly baked cake which he said he'd have a slice of straight away! I cut him a small piece knowing he's not got much of an appetite and he said 'I'll have more than that!!" : )

He seemed pleased to see us all and glad to be home but I did feel he wasn't as chirpy as the day before when he came home from hospital, I had spoken to him on the phone and he was really chatty but yesterday he was quite despondent.

I put it down to tiredness but I took him down a casserole earlier and he just looked really sad and said he wasn't feeling that great and then went on to say he doesn't think he's going to carry on with the chemotherapy! He says he felt much better before he started the chemo. He then started talking about what things were mine in the house and what was worth any money! I told him I didn't want to think about that yet and he said you can't help but think about it when you're sat doing nothing everyday and that even when he is doing things he can't keep his mind off it for long. I'm worried that he is understandably depressed, does anyone else have any experience with their loved ones becoming depressed? And who would I contact to get some support for him?

I came away and burst into tears, it makes me so angry this poisonous disease!! Seeing a strong healthy extremely fit man become weak, frail and old in such a short amount of time is heartbreaking : (

Sorry for the rant but it helps!!

Thinking of you all and hoping your loved ones are doing ok....

Much love

Morwenna

[petra]

Hi morwenna just read your post and I can totally sympathise....when my dad was last discharged he was so happy to be coming home then when I was driving him home he became totally wierd and offish very out of character!I think as he was a full timee physical worker with no health problems before and then boom!had to give up work, his van his whole life basically with all day and night to think about things, so yes I don't think even the strongest person could fail to be a bit down about the whole thing, think maybe if you contacted macmillan or a similar cancer charity they may have some services couunselling or alternative therapy maybe see what they suggest....I try and keep dads spirits up as best I can I haven't even suuggested help with feeling down as he wouldd never ever go for it too proud and stubborn!!! I guess itt helps that I've moved in with my dad 280 miles away from my partner but as I don't have kids I guess its easier you have to think of your boys!! Hope this helps a bit its easy to cry when u hear these upsetting things from your own dad but he doesn't mean to upset you, my best friends dad had cancer and used to say similar things all the time, stay strong xxxx

[susikus]

It is so hard isn't it? There are people who can help - Macmillan for example or other local services. Our GP offered antidepressants early on so a chat with the GP might be worthwhile. But at the end of the day the whole thing is depressing....

When my dad was terminally ill he didn't want to talk much about the here and now (he sort of put up with me sorting out meds and bowels and bathing and all the physical sort of things) but what he really enjoyed talking about was his younger days and we talked for hours and I learnt things I'd never known before - I was so glad to have had that opportunity as I felt I really came to know him better. My mother had died the year before and I'd always been closer to her in my growing up years.

When my husband was ill he felt totally differently - he had always hated being ill, didn't like anyone to mention it - and all he really wanted was for life to be as normal as possible for as long as possible. So when visitors came, our daughters included, he tried to be the same man he'd always been. He wanted to talk about dogs and walking and music. I did try a little to get him to leave something for our daughters - for example I bought birthday cards for him to write in - but it made him feel so very uncomfortable that I left it.

So what I'm really saying is 'to each their own'. If your dad wants to talk about who will have what then it might be important to him. My dad wanted my sister to have his car - she drove an old banger - but he never said that to her, instead he said to me 'you will make sure L gets my car won't you?' She was most surprised (and delighted) when I told her.

'Tis hard tho'. Hugs (and lots of 'em)

love

Sue

xxx

[DRAD3]

Hi Morwenna

I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in your Dad's shoes. I still find it hard to think about what was going through my husband's mind - the fear, the loneliness and the utter sadness. Your Dad obviously has much he wants to talk about - things that you will find hard to hear and that will upset you but if you can find the strength to listen, I think it will help him feel some sense of control. The thing I hated most about PC was how it almost took a life of its own, my husband became it and it became my husband - he became lost behind it. Perhaps your Dads's decision regarding whether to continue with chemo is also about him re-gaining some control - this disease wants to take everything - don't let it. As Sue said, it might just be the time to start talking to your Dad about his life before, what is important to him, and what he wants for the future (forget that he has terminal cancer, if you can). So, so hard, I know Morwenna - I do hope that you can help your Dad through this difficult time. Remember youself too - Macmillan and the like are there for families/carers too.

Much love

Deb

x

[Catherine]

Hello Morwenna,

Bless you. I am really pleased your dad looked better than you had expected, that must have been a relief. Your dad is more than likely associating his hospital stay with chemo. It is a huge leap of faith when there is no hope of a cure simply more time. He may feel very differently when he has had his scan and seen his consultant. I can't imagine how he must be feeling, it is so frustrating to go from being active to doing not a lot at the best of times without the label of a terminal illness hanging over you. My mum talks about death a lot, she is going to see an undertaker and plan and pay for her funeral soon. On one hand that is upsetting but on the other it is about the person she is and having it her way!! And she does say she's going no where without a bloody good fight, and hopefully no time soon!!

Your dads Macmillan nurse should be able to help with how your dad is feeling, do you think it was a bad day or he is like it most of the time? Everyone has down days with or without a terrible illness. Are there any things he is looking forward to? We have tried to have something every week that my mum is looking forward to, today it's a big family celebration of pancake day. Next week (chemo week) it might be something small like baking a cake or going to a shop she likes, or one of the grandchildren staying. As Deb said this illness becomes you and you become the illness. So we try really hard to find the positives in every situation and think of mum as mum first and that horrid diagnosis second. I have to say that has taken some doing though!! It's good he ate a big bit of cake, it's great to see isn't it? I cooked pulled pork on Sunday as my mum had mentioned she liked the look of it (she's gone off meat) and it was lovely to see her tucking in. She even had 2 helpings of key lime pie.

You need to look after yourself in all of this too, you're always so busy rushing around making food etc. This awful illness is a lot to get your head round. I hate it too, I don't know why it has to try and take such lovely people.

Take care of yourself, love Catherine xxx