my lovely dad

[J_T]

So sorry to hear about your dad, Petra. Such sad news.

You are in my thoughts.

Julia x

[KATB]

Oh Petra, I am so sorry.

Much love to you.

K

x

[petra]

Thank you SO MUCH all of you your kind words they mean so much at this horrid time xxxxxx

[petra]

Dads funeral was a week ago and it went well, made me happy to see how many people thought so much of my dad! I wrote a poem and read it out as a eulogy, managed to do it without crying which I hadn't managed when practicing it, I swear he was with me helping me through!! Here it is

A better dad in all the world would be so hard to find,

A quiet man who was well loved, gentle and so kind

God took you up to heaven, and we'll always wonder why, you couldn't stay down here with us and now watch us from the sky.

We searched to find the answers, to an illness that's so cruel, we prayed for better news but in our heats we always knew.

Through all your pain and suffering, a complaint we didn't hear, you faced it with such spirit,

Leaving us behind your only fear.

If we're never reunited, we really wouldn't mind, the love you showed us in this life will last us for all time.

I hope this place called heaven is all we wished it to be, where illness and sorrow won't trouble you, and you'll still watch over me.

We wonder what we'll do now, your hardworking hands lie still, an empty space in all our hearts that never can be filled.

You devoted your whole life to us, a dad of which we're proud, a loyal friend and trustworthy

Is what we've always found.

We leaned on you through thick and thin, you'd always help us through, the best if times, the worst as well we could only depend on you.

Christmas, birthdays, holidays will never be the same, although our hearts are broken now we'll always speak your name.

Material things mean nothing, is what you'd always say, sound advice to your two children from which we'll never stray.

Your words will never leave us, we'll treasure them for all time, if I could of chosen any dad I'm so glad that you were mine.

I wrote this on behalf of me and my brother

Xxxxxxxxx

[Cathy]

Hi there

What a beautiful poem. You were very brave to do such a long eulogy (or even do one at all!) and I imagine that others there were grateful for you sharing your poem and feelings.

It all sounded like a perfect funeral and I hope you and your brother can both take some comfort from that. Your Dad sounded like a very special person.

Take care

Cathy xx

[karen17]

Oh Petra,

That is just so beautiful and moving. Sitting here now with tears streaming down my face.

Like Cathy said you were so brave to be able to manage to read this at the funeral. Your dad would have been proudly looking down on you.

Take care

Karen xxx

[petra]

Hi Cathy and Karen, thank you for your kind words I really hope dad was with me, I'm struggling to think that I won't see or speak to dad again, it breaks my heart. But I'm so glad you both liked my poem it means a lot, I hope you are both doing well xxxx

[KATB]

I don't know how you managed to get through that Petra - it's lovely.

Thinking of you.

K

x

[petra]

KATB, for some reason I just didnt feel nerves or much sadness at the actual service, that's why I like to think dad was there.......feel worse now I'm back at work it's like I can't fathom what's happened to me in the past 12 months I never appreciated how things can change for the worse in such a short space of time! P xxxxx

[KATB]

It's very hard to get your head around isn't it? I feel as though I'm living in a strange parallel universe, it's just so surreal.

My dad is still here but he is very unwell and we are on a real rollecoaster - one I never thought we'd be on at this stage of his life as he is only 61.

So, so difficult and what an utterly evil disease this is - and one I knew barely anything about until it so rudely interrupted our lives

K

x

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Petra,

That is a fantastic poem. Really beautiful - well done for your courage.

Jeni and Dianne.

[petra]

Thanks Jeni and Dianne, I worked hard on it but there were so many nice things to say about my dad I certainly wasn't stuck for ideas!

KATB, I know exactly how you feel. I think I started grieving for dad as soon as they told us his only option was palliative chemo, one year ago yesterday! how things can change. I certainly did a lot of (private) crying during that year, watching my dad suffer and also know that he wouldn't get much better and seeing how hard he tried and fought nearly tore me apart, the only thing you can try and do is be there for your dad and look after him as best you can. Is your dad having chemo? much love Petra xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[KATB]

Hi Petra,

I've cried a river this year - it is the toughest and most heart-breaking situation I've ever had to deal with. Nobody knows how hideous this is until they go through it. Dad is not on any chemo at the moment, he is just too unwell

We are just trying everything to build his strength up but he has no appetite really and just feels weak

K

x

[petra]

I know what that's like, often dad would be too poorly for treatment although he really wanted it, I too have had the most horrific year and this morning I've got in from work and I feel so lost! No dad to look after and babble on to, miss him so much! I spent too long searching for treatment and wish now that I'd spent every second with him, what I wouldn't do to see him just once more! Your dad will be safe in the knowledge that you will always be there so take some comfort from that and spend every second you can with him! Xxxxxx

[KATB]

Hi Petra,

I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can but it's difficult - he lives an hour away from me and I have 3 children (age 9-12) and one of them has his secondary school entrance exams in the next few weeks. So I'm really trying to keep all the plates spinning - working with him, doing my own job (I work freelance), visiting mum and dad...

It's so difficult as I have to arrange childcare for the boys if I'm not here to pick up from school and of course my not being here also impacts on them AND they are always asking after Grandad - how is he, can they go and visit him etc. Things are so tough right now but I'm just taking each day as it comes. That's all we can do isn't it?

xxx

[petra]

Oh god, so much on your plate I know it's a nightmare trying to do everything, your dads not alone though he's got your mum!! Take one day at a time or else you'll go mad, you sound like your doing so well xxxxxx

[KATB]

Thanks Petra x

[Cathy]

Hi Kate

We're all thinking of you, your Mum and your Dad and hoping for some positive news very soon on your thread. I keep looking out for it every time I'm on here.

Loads of love

Cathy xxx

[KATB]

Thanks so much Cathy. There's not a lot of positive news right now. Dad is stable but he's not well and we don't really know where we are going next with this hideous disease.

K

x

[Cathy]

Hi Kate

I'm glad he is stable but you must all be exhausted.

I hope you all manage to have a restful weekend and a turn for the best for your Dad. As I said, am thinking of you all and will be looking out for an update when you or your Mum have time. Hoping very hard that it will be a positive one.

xxx

[petra]

Hope your dad is feeling better KATB have been thinking of you xxxxx

[Bee]

Hi,

Ditto to above, thinking of you all and keeping everything crossed for some positive news

Bee xx

[petra]

Hope you are ok KATB how's dad?? I miss my dad so much at the moment it's four weeks today since he went, I can only do the basics like work walking the dog and housework, other than that I can't seem to get much done! My friends get me put all the time but then I go home and think about dad! At least I'm working I suppose

Xxxxx

[petra]

Hope you are ok KATB how's dad?? I miss my dad so much at the moment it's four weeks today since he went, I can only do the basics like work walking the dog and housework, other than that I can't seem to get much done! My friends get me put all the time but then I go home and think about dad! At least I'm working I suppose

Xxxxx

[Cathy]

Hi Petra

Four weeks is no time at all is it? You say you haven't done much but you seem to be doing a lot, working, walking the dog AND housework - superwoman!

Just to let you know, in case you didn't, that KATBs Dad is Ray and her Mum, Julia has just posted an update on another thread here of how he is getting on>> http://forum.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=1015&start=150#p9486

.. just in case you hadn't spotted it.

Cathy xx