Sorry been a while.

[Jool2504]

Hi Everyone,

Just not been able to visit the forum for a few weeks now.

Its been a week of firsts for me, Billys birthday was on Saturday and it was a month since we lost him on Sunday. We all thought he would make Christmas, I tried to be positive with him and say he would make next Christmas as well, alas he didn't make either.

I've moved back to Birmingham, the evening after the funeral and went back for the first time on Saturday to find a For Sale sign outside the bungalow, I knew it had been valuated but not actually put on the market, I was devastated. There unfortunately has been some problems with his son, which I hope now are sorted.

I miss being there in Mansfield and I miss being here when I'm there.

Being without Bill is the worst thing in the world, but I know he's in my heart always.

When he passed away we opened the outside door to his room and the stars were shinning so I like to see the stars each night and know hes above them with his loved ones, I hate cloudy nights.

Sorry to hear some of our loved ones have passed away and others are not doing so well.

You were all such comfort to me during Bills illness. I shall once I am in a stronger state of body and mind be back and see what I and my family can do to raise awareness.

Hopes and prayers to everyone.

Jools

[DRAD3]

Hi all

I have hijacked your thread, Jools, as it has been a while for me too. So lovely to hear from you and I understand how you are feeling as it has been a difficult time for me lately and, as a result, I have found it hard to muster the strength to offer any support to others. I am sorry. My thoughts have continued to be with everyone though and I send my love and strength as always and especially at this time of year when things can become even more difficult. Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas with your loved ones.

Deb xx

[Joolz]

Hi,

Still checking up on posts, struggling but back to work on phased return. Feel better when I see the stars as I know he's watching me from beyond them, we opened the door of his ground floor room in hospice to let his spirit out & as it was so early the stars were still out.

Take care everyone be strong.

Jools

[DRAD3]

Hi Jools. So lovely to hear from you. I also did a phased return to work - I am sure you will see the benefit of that - I certainly felt like my head was in a fog, couldn't concentrate, felt very, very fragile and extremely tired - I am sure you feel the same so take your time and be kind to yourself. Others (especially at work where life moves too quickly these days) move on and forget whilst we are still finding it difficult to think about anything else but it will get easier and you will get stronger and stronger. You will also hit lows at unexpected times but just go with the flow because the dark days do come and go. We are always here for you. Keep looking up at the stars.

Much love

Deb

x