My mum's story so far....

[laura]

hello ali, so sorry to read of your mums passing,you must be feeling numb and all over the place!

hope the family are all supporting. if you want to see mum, do so, its something you cant change your mind about later, im sure she will look beautiful and peacefull, specially in a pretty red dress, i know some people dont want to see their loved ones, its all down to personal choice., really happy for you that you were with her at the end, its the last thing, isnt it, that we can do for someone we care about?

thinking of you love, take care of you now. love laura xxx

[rachelqt]

Dear Alison, im so sorry to read about your mum. Such a difficult and sad time for you and family.

My heart goes out to you and also to Ella, Deb, Louie and everyone else on this forum suffering the loss of a loved one.

Takecare of yourself Alison

Rachel xx

[ali40]

Hi

Thanks again for everyones kind words.

I decided to go and see mum in the chapel of rest, I have mixed feelings as she didn't look better than the last time I saw her, her mouth looked horrible and as someone else has posted I knew she wasn't there. Mum is the first dead person I've seen so even though I knew she was going to be in her coffin but it was still a huge shock she looked so small. We all put our momentos in and that bit was nice, we still had a smile then.

The funeral was yesterday both my children decided to go and I'm glad they did, it was a beautiful day very hot. The flowers were lovely and everything went to plan and we had a good turnout to say mum has a very small family. Lots of good friends came and we gave her a good send off.

Before the funeral yesterday I went through all mums old photographs and made an album up from when she was a baby right through to the lastest photo I had. This made me feel so much better after seeing her all through the last month, seeing her look well and happy reminded me as I'd lost that during these last few weeks. We took it to the wake and everyone enjoyed looking at it.

I still don't think its sunk in that she's gone I haven't had time to think yet. I can't believe she won't be on the end of the phone there's been so many times over the last week or so when the first thing I would have done was to ring her up and ask her something. I'm still sorting all the paperwork side of things out and feel like I'm getting there now.

A good thing to come out of this is me and my brother are getting on so much better he even sent me thank you card for helping him to get through it and said its time for a new start, more tears then. I do hope it continues. My sister flew back to Portugal today, but says she will come back at Christmas.

Just real life to get on with now with a big hole in it.

Thinking of you all as ever.

Alison.xx

[NICOLA]

Thank you so much for sharing your story Alison, I have tears rolling down my face as I read it as my mam is nearing the end. You have helped me will some of the questions Ive had, Ive never lost anyone before. Im going to do the photo album too. Thanks Again Nicolaxx

[ali40]

Hi Nicola,

The photo album was a real last minute thing I did it on the morning of the funeral is know some people wouldn't be able to face it but as I said it was a real comfort. It was a nice thing for family and friends as well. It's been a hard 6 months this time last year mum was just starting her doctor visits about her stomach. It's amazing what can happen in a year as I'm sure so many people know on this forum.

Thinking of you

Alison. xx

[charney]

i am so sorry about your mum my love and best wishes to you

The Photo Album was a lovely idea xx

cheryl

[DRAD3]

Hi Alison

So lovely to hear how the photos helped you. I did the same thing for Gary's funeral. I scanned and loaded old photos onto my pc and put them with newer ones and made a slide show. Photos from when he was just a boy up to recent happy times. We had a big screen put in the room where the wake took place and played the slide show over and over. It was so wonderful as I felt he was in the room with us (as he obviously was in spirit, of course) and everyone enjoyed sharing memories and trying to spot each other in different photos across the years. The photos definitely brought everyone together to share good times on a day that was too surreal for words to be honest. The funny thing is, Gary absolutely hated having his photograph taken - I am so glad I ignored his protests over the years because I regularly watch the slideshow at home now and they bring me such comfort (as well as set me off crying, but that can be a good thing when you are holding it in all the time).

Much love to you. Thinking of you at what will be a difficult time.

Deb

x