my wife

[lynbo]

Hi Drew

My husband suffered the same fatigue and confusion he had haloperidol to stop his twitching too but that made him hallucinate more.

Just take each day as it comes, and love lots.

Your always in my thoughts

Xxxxx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Drew,

Really sorry to hear about the consultations. This is a real blow, and must be distressing for Heather and the family. You are very close to all that is going on, and it is bound to affect you emotionally and psychologically. Keep posting on the forums, where you will find some supportive friends, and where you can be honest about what you are going through.

Also, you have my email address if you require other forms of support.

As Lynne said, it is important now for you and Heather to have some quality time together, and your daughter , of course. Don't forget to get the family to help, if you can, by doing practical things - cooking, housework, shopping etc...This will take some of the worries about everyday things from you, so that you can focus on Heather.

Here if you need us.

Jeni.

[rachelqt]

Hi Drew and Mistipop,

Im very sorry to hear about Heather and your Mum. It is a tough time for you guys. I hope you find the strength to get through it all. Your in my thoughts and prayers..

Rachel xx

[Drew]

Thanks all for your kind words and support. I think this fourm is a good way to let off a bit of steam, and there will always be a supportive reply. I have always been the type of person who very rarely shows or talks about his feeling. Typical man I hear you all say lol.

Heather was admitted to the hospice today so that they can spend more time changing her treatment. The plan is to kill the pain and reduce the drowsiness to a minimum . They talked today about a lot of different meds that can be used without the opioids . The main issue for them is the different pains Heather has and the constant change as the tumors grow.

As I said in previous posts Heathers pain was sorted a few times but hallucinations , confusion, and drowsiness became a big problem. Once that was sorted the pain came back, vicious circle. This was al done with hospital visits and home calls and was taking very long. Heather finlay agreed to be admitted so the doctors can spend time with her and hopefully get it all sorted quicker.

Not sure how I feel about all this at the minute , a bit numb I suppose. I am glad she is getting the 24 hr care she needs and the hospice is only round the corner from home , but that word hospice is scary , I don't want today to be the last day Heather was at home.

Drew xxx

[laura]

hello drew,, so sorry heather and you are having such a rough time of it, the hospice is surely the best place for heather to get the best of attention and care whilst changing n monitoring her pain control, am sure they will do all in their power to get heather back home to you xx take this opportunuty if you can, to get a good nights sleep, things hopefully will seem better in daylight tomorrow. thinking of you both and your daughter.

love laura xxxx

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Drew,

Laura is right. The hospice is a great place for symptom control, and doctors often refer patients there to have their medication properly sorted out, or to get on top of things such as nausea. It is much easier to do it this way, and much more effective for the patient. Also, as you said, it will not take as long as doing it via out patient appointments.

Lets hope the end result is a good one for Heather and the rest of you. You will all benefit if she can enjoy some quality family time.

Yes, you probably are a typical man, and find it difficult to speak about your emotions. But, you sort of are on here. It is not exactly face to face, but at least it is an avenue which you can use, and seem to be comfortable with, so do post if you are feeling like you need an emotional release. It is healthy to do so, and it gets the emotions "out there", and off your chest.

Hope Heather comes home soon, with pain sorted.

Best wishes,

Jeni.

[AnthonysDaughter]

Hi, Dad intially started on morphine based drugs, but changed to methadone based ones as they are synthetic and less side effects. he was wearing patches, having methadone and oxynorm caps for breakthrough pain and pregablin for peripheral nerve pain. I know the meds are a juggling act according to the Dr! Dad was very sleepy a lot of the time and they affected him, the Dr gave us one possibility that this was due to him never having been ill before and not really having taken anything much stronger than paracetamol in 62 years, his sensitivity to drugs was never tested before x

[Drew]

Hi all, Heather has gone. She just had enough, and got weaker as the days passed her by in Hospice. She passed peacefully on Sunday morning in her sleep,with us by her side. She had been sleeping for 2 days. I find it hard to describe how I feel , glad she has no more suffering but my heart is broken shes gone. I'm numb and I actually do have pain. Lonely in a house full of friends and family ,I just keep looking around to see if Heather is there, and for the first time I notice how much our daughter Jade looks and acts like her mum. It's all just mad.

[rachelqt]

Hi Drew, Im gutted to hear your news about Heather. You have done your wonderful wife proud and from what I read no stone went unturned in your quest in researching medical treatments for her. I hope you and your daughter find the strength to get through this sad time. My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Takecare..Rachel x

[louiepc]

Drew and Jade

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I am sending you my most deepest sympathies and prayers to you at this awful time.

I hope that you manage to find the strength in each other to get through the tough times ahead. You will be in my prayers over the next coming days, weeks and months as deal with this terrible news.

louie xxx

[lynbo]

Drew

Im so sorry for your loss, and as a widow myself I know there's no words I say will ease your pain, but I want you to know I am thinking of you, and your daughter

Much love

Xxxx

[laura]

dear drew and jade. i echo all of the above and add to it my deepest heartfelt sympathies. i was devastated to read your post, but thank you so much for taking the time to let us, your friends on here, have an update, any time drew someone will be on here for you.

love to you and your daughter, cherish her and of course the parts of heather you can see in her, in time i hope that will be a comfort to you, as she is part of both of you.

love laura xxxx

[Mistipop]

So shocked, saddened and sorry to hear of your loss of Heather. Thinking of you and your daughter at this terribly sad time x

[AnneD]

Dear Drew,

I'm so sorry to hear the news about Heather.

Heartfelt sympathies to you and your family at this sad time.

Anne

[millyjo]

Please accept my sincere condolences.

It is so tragic.

Regards

Millyjo

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Drew,

I have just read the post about Heather. Drew, I am so sorry to hear about this news so soon . As you said, Heather is at peace now, and no longer suffering. I would like to offer my personal condolences, as well as those of PCUK, to the others on here. This is a sudden blow to you and Jade, and I am sure it will impact your lives for sometime. I do hope that the community are rallying round, as they do in N.I, and providing you with some support.

I am so very sorry for your deep loss. Please know that you are in the thoughts of many on here, and many connected with pancreatic cancer.

Drew, take care of yourself and Jade, and remember, you can always use these forums if you feel it will help.

With kindest regards,

Jeni.

[Drew]

Hi all, I haven't been able to come onto the forums for some time - find it hard to get through every day without Heather.

I went back to work 2 weeks after Heather passed, i just couldn't sit in the house, and I think it has been a big help talking and dealing with issues in work - it takes your mind off things for a short time.

Jade also returned to school - she has her a-levels this year and is hoping to get into Queens University studying nursing - Heather and I are very proud of her but I think it will be a struggle for her to get the grades, we can only hope she does well.

We done a walk a few weeks ago in memory of Heather and raised £4000 so far for the Northern Ireland Hospice.

I have also raised £500 so far with a few more events organised for a Panceratic Cance research fund ( I would like to give this money to a local charity in Northern Ireland if there is one ? but failing that it will go to Pancreatic Cancer UK - just not sure how to find a local charity devoted to PC research and i am not sure if PCUK works in Northern Ireland).

My biggest fear now is for Jade, as both Heather and her Brother have now passed with this cancer. I need to know that the money I raise will help my daughter and other family members with early detection and monitoring.

Any info about the above would be appreciated

Again thanks to you all for your support and good luck

Drew

[laura]

hi drew, how lovely to see you post again, am sure it has been a very difficult and life changing time for both you and Jade.

What a magnificent ammount of money you have both raised, Heather will be so proud of you both x

I am sure Jade will do her very best to acheive what she wants for her future. all you can do is support her, and be proud of whatever she does, as im sure you will, a difficult time for her, with studying etc.

i echo your wish for early detection and positive treatment for this awful disease.

love and best wishes to you both laura xx

[Nardobd]

Drew and Misti my thoughts are with you both - I know how scary it all is and sending thoughts of strength your way.

Nicki

[rachelqt]

Hi Drew, lovely to hear from you again! I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and Jade right now. I hope she gets what she needs for Queens, bless her she has had a very tough time of it compared to most kids her age, so there is always next year too if things dont work out for her.

What a fantastic amount of money you have rasied!! As Laura has said there is no doubt Heather would be proud! Im from N.Ireland also and am not aware of any organisations dedicated to PC, so maybe Jeni from here might be able to help you there!

Best Wishes..Rachel x

[Support Team]

Hi Drew,

Jeni is on leave this week so I am responding on her behalf. That is a fantastic amount of money you have raised, I'm sure Heather would be very proud.

I'm afraid I'm not aware of any specific pancreatic cancer charities based in Northern Ireland.

In terms of Pancreatic Cancer UK, we try to work across the UK. Our Information and Support Services are available for people from Northern Ireland to use, though I can appreciate that they are not based locally. We will fund research work across the UK although we are not currently funding any specific research work in Northern Ireland.

Kind regards

Anna