My Dad

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Steve and Gill,

So very sorry to hear about the death of your dad.

I guess it was not expected at this time, so no doubt, you are all shocked and devastated.

Please accept my personal condolences, as well as those of the whole charity, at this difficult time. Do contact us if you need to.

Best wishes,

Jeni.

[Gem39]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

x

[lynbo]

Steve & Gill

So sad to hear your loss, I'll bbe thinking of you all, much love

Lynbo xxx

[rachelqt]

Hi Steve and Gill, Im so sorry to hear about your dad. Im sure you are all in shock that things took a turn for the worse for your wonderful dad. He is at peace now. Prayers are with you both at this sad time. Love Rachel xx

[Steve983]

Thanks for your condolences everyone. Our Dad was taken from us far too soon, I will post more info when I've been to the hospital to discuss the cause of death etc. I am so upset, it's only the practical side of things serving as a distaction that is keeping me together right now. Dont worry though, we are all supporting each other very well, we even managed to arrange the funeral yesterday. As I say, there is more info that I want to share which others may find useful, I'll post again in a few days.

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Thanks Steve.

Hope the next few days are not too harrowing for you, and that all the plans go smoothly.

Jeni.

[laura]

i am so sorrry steve and gill to have read your devastating news, what a shock for you all, so unexpected at this time, my thoughts and good wishes are with you, look after each other, and your poor mum. love laura xx

[millyjo]

Dear Steve and Gill,

Have been following your posts and was surprised to read the very sad news.

It is surreal.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Kind Regards

Millyjo

[CFF]

Gill & Steve

I was also surprised to hear your news - I'm so sorry

thinking of you and your family

xxx

[Steve983]

Thanks again people for your kind thoughts and wishes. I'm feeling a bit better now so here goes.

Ironically, the primary cause of death was Broncopneumonia. Dad had been fine with the first two chemo sessions, then the 3rd was delayed due to a chest infection. Following a course of anti biotics the 3rd chemo session followed a couple of weeks later. Sadly around 10 days after that he started to go downhill. Eventually we got him into hospital where he was given more anti bios and put on oxygen. After 2 or 3 days he seemed to be recovering but then when Mum & I went to see him on Sunday he didn't seem right at all.

By Monday morning he had suffered respiratory failure and the doctor told us he had only hours to live. Everyone came to the hospital and we stayed with him all day until we were exhausted. Luckily during that time he had a couple of lucid moments and was able to acknowledge our presence and even managed a couple of smiles. He was sedated most of the time though for his own comfort. Then on Tuesday morning before we could get to the hospital I got the phone call that he had passed away.

The irony of all this is that it was not the PC that directly caused Dad's passing. With hindsight it was likely the effects of the chemo that weakend his immune system and he Did not have the strength to fight the infections. This highlights the impossible dilemma of whether to have chemo or not. We were warned about the risks but had to take the chance to try to fight this awful disease, we could not have done otherwise, and Dad was totally up for it. Our only comfort is that he did not suffer too long and his quality of life was quite good until the last 10 days. I had hoped that Dad could at least have enjoyed some of the coming summer and maybe even make it to next Christmas but alas it was not to be.

(It's also worth noting that Dad smoked most of his life, until about 15 years ago that is when he ended up in intensive care with severe respiratory problems. We nagged and nagged him over the years to stop but it was no use, so the smoking got him on two fronts really.)

I would like to thank again everyone here who gave us reassurance and useful advice over the last few months, you are good people, especially those who have already lost a loved one but come back here to help others.

Steve

David Brian Smith 1935-2012

[laura]

hi steve, nice of you to post at this difficult time, hope it helped you to write your thoughts/feelings down,i too am pleased that dad didnt suffer, perhaps later on you will be able to look back and be grateful that respiritory failure took him?.

all the best to you and gill, and your mum, take care of each other. love laura xx

[Gill1301]

I can only echo what Steve has said to praise you all for your kind support during the hardest time of our lives.

I created a memorial page for Dad via this site where lots of people have already posted some lovely things and a donation or two as well.

http://david.smith.muchloved.com/frame.aspx?df=false

[Steve983]

laura wrote :

> hi steve, nice of you to post at this difficult time, hope it helped you to

> write your thoughts/feelings down,i too am pleased that dad didnt suffer,

> perhaps later on you will be able to look back and be grateful that

> respiritory failure took him?.

>

> all the best to you and gill, and your mum, take care of each other. love

> laura xx

Thanks Laura. Yes, that's one of the few consolations that Dad didn't suffer for very long and that maybe this way was better than a long drawn out period of very poor quality of life.

[rachelqt]

Hi Steve and Gill,

Im sure you are all finding things hard without your dad. Your memorial page is just lovely and its really nice to see the face of the wonderful man you spoke about. He looked like a wonderful charcter!

Thanks for posting on here at what is a very difficult time for you both. I understand what your saying about weighing up the pros and cons of chemotherapy. My dad also caught a few infections due to his low immune system, it was quite scary, he is still very weak, just hope he gets his energy back!

Hope you both find the strength to get through this difficult time..Rachel

[Gill1301]

Hi All, just thought I'd update you with a little bit of good news. Through the memorial page and via the funeral directors the charity is now over £130 better off.

Mum is doing pretty well considering and we are just about coping.

Let's hope that through continued support this awful cancer can eventually be beaten.

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Thank you so much for this Gill.

This is really great.

Jeni.

[Gill1301]

Heard from Mum yesterday that the total is now just over the £200 mark!

[Nardobd]

Dear Steve and Gill

I'm sorry I haven't posted before but as you've probably seen Ted also passed away last week. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

Nicki