My best friend

[sophiek]

On thursday 14th July my best friend was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. Not only is she my best friend but also my Mum. I'm so sad I just can't describe it. It just feels like the bottom has fallen out of my world. My mum has a CT scan booked for this friday to see how far along it is, although she has suffered for over a year with stomache ache/nausea/weight loss. The consultant who broke the news told us that as the tumour is 'wrapped around' a blood vessel surgery may not be the best idea. As soon as I got home that night I looked at every site I could on PC and was further shocked by the medial survival rate. While my mum so far is being so incredibly strong, I am not, and feel incredibly guilty for being so. Is it normal to keep thinking about the worst case senario and 'how will I cope without my mum?' I really want to be upbeat and positive for my mums sake, but I truely feel heartbroken. Not just for me, but my 2 and a half year old son who adores his nan, and for my nephews, step dad and my mums twin sister. How do families get through this awful time?? As I write this I cannot help but cry.........

[lynbo]

Hi

What your feeling is perfectly normal, just please don't try and think too far ahead, everyone is different, there are some people on here who are battling on despite being given the same awful news.

I know it's hard, your in shock, and it's normal to feel the way you are.

If you want, look at some of the stories on the website by Carmel, or nicki and Ted, chin up

Xxxxxx

[Nardobd]

Hi Sophie and I'm sorry to hear your news.

The main PCUK website has a special page for those who have had a sudden diagnosis: www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/just_diagnosed.htm and it might help you to look there.

The survival statistics are dire but this disease is as individual as the person! Take my hubby, Ted, diagnosed in 2009 and told "months not years"...he's still very much here. If you want to read a potted history of his journey so far, there's one on this discussion http://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/discussion/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=497&p=3036#p3036

It took us several weeks just to get over the shock and it's perfectly ok to feel the way you do. Like all of us affected by PC you'll find a new "normal" and you'll muddle through doing the best you can...it's all any of us can do.

Your Mum has a terrific advantage - a family who clearly love her dearly. Cry (and laugh) together, take advantage of the opportunity to spend some quality time with Mum and make sure that boy of yours gives Nana plenty of cuddles!

Love

Nicki x

[sophiek]

Thanks so much for the replies and support. I will have a look at Ted's story now, it does give a little hope that months could be years, I just want all the time that I can possibly have with her. xx

[sophiek]

Hi Nicki,

Sorry could you tell me a bit more about the papaya fruit?? Is it the leaf extract or actual fruit?? And also I did read elsewhere about the flaxseed oil and quark thing. I'm going to try anything possible that I can to give us a bit more time, and have made a promise to myself that I will be more positive about this situation, especially around my mum. Thanks again. This site really is a wonderful help and source of information.

Sophie xxx

[lynbo]

Sophie

Glad you got to read Teds story, and Nicki, thanks for replying and helping out, I couldn't find the link to your story.

Typical support off lovely people on this site, chin up Sophie xxx

[Nardobd]

Hi Sophie

One of the other people who used to use this board wrote to the researcher and he was making tea from the leaves and bark. I didn't know about Papaya extract at first so I started Ted off on the fruit but I've now got him on the extract.

I also read recently that Cat's Claw (which is actually the inner bark from a tree in the Amazon) was traditionally used in Peru to treat pancreatic cancer so I have Ted taking that too. I must stress that this is in addition to traditional chemo and I'm not making any promises it will work...I'm just trying anything within reason! Like all serious illness there are a lot of charlatans out there only too willing to take your money on a promise of a 'cure' and you have to decide for yourself. Ted says that the Cat's Claw tastes so vile it has to be doing him some good!

Take care

Nicki x

[sophiek]

Hi Nicki,

I've just been looking into all the things you've mentioned and cats claw, flaxseed oil and lemon balm I can get from my local health food shop, but did you order the papaya extract online? If so which site did you get it from?? I'm feeling the same about all the 'wonderful cures' advertised on the internet, but these ones seem to be mention again and again on different sites/discussions, so my Mum is willing to try them, and like you I'm happy for her to try anything within reason. The consultant last week said Mum would be having chemoradiation as surgery at the moment is not an option. It seems to be Gemcitabine is a popular and usually effective chemo?? So after the CT scan we'll know more....Again thanks for the advice and help, I really do feel more positive.

Sophie xx

[Nardobd]

Hi Sophie

Yes, I get the papaya extract online from a site called harmonic-health.com. It's not the only site that does it but it is a UK site.

Let's hope the news from the CT is good...I'm crossing my fingers!

Kind regards

Nicki

[louiepc]

Hi Sophie

I am sorry to hear that your mum is poorly, my mum too was suddenly diagnosed with PC, after a 2 1/2 year illness. She is starting chemo this week, it sounds as though my mum has the tumour in a similar place to your mum, it too is wrapped around the vascular vein, but has also gone into the lymph nodes.

We found out that she was stage 2 though, so we are happier - if that is the correct term for it - we actually thought she was further along than that, so hopefully she will have more time with us.

I hope that you and your mum and family are ok, it is very hard watching your loved one go through it, my mum is incredibly strong, and I have been in pieces, but have made myself only be like that when I'm away from her, I try to my hardest to be happy and positive around her. Now the positivity is that she is happy and that she is getting treatment.

It is true, normal becomes different but "normal". You do sort of muddle along and get used to the way things are, although there are times (quite often still) that I just go into a daze and find tears coming down my face without realising it.

Anyway on a more positive note, has your mum started chemo yet? Hope that everything is going well. This is a really great site, and it is very helpful.

take care

louie xxx