My husband has just been diagnosed...

[NiaD]

My husband was very recently diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, which has spread to his liver. He is quite jaundiced and we have been told that he cannot have chemotherapy because of this and because his liver is 3/4 tumour. From the time he was diagnosed two weeks ago to now, he has put on around a stone in weight (due to the ascites in his abdomen and feet) and is extremely tired. He has lost weight in his cheeks and neck and is very tired. We are still trying to get his medication right (was on Oxycodone 20mg mornings and 40mg evenings with Oxynorm 5mg for breakthrough pain). He is also on Omeprazole (antacid), Paracetamol for fever, Laxido for constipation and Questran Light for the pruritis. He has been started on patches tonight for pain instead and is currently sleeping. He's on a ripple mattress as he's been spending a lot of time in bed...too tired to do anything else.

Our world has come crashing down around our ears in a matter of days/a few weeks. He was a taxi-driver until recently and thought he had a bad back due to driving almost daily for 16 years. How wrong could we have been? Kevin is only 41.

[lynbo]

Hi NiaD

Has your husband had appointments with an oncologist?

It's all a shock , I can imagine.

As he has only just been diagnosed, maybe they will tweak his meds so he is less tired.

Were all on here to help, don't feel alone

Xxxx

Lynne

[Ellie]

Hi NiaD

So sorry to hear about your husband. What an awful shock for you all, just like for so many of us on here. You never think the worst will happen to your family, do you?

I hope the doctors can get your husband comfortable and pain free. Try to take one day at a time and don't forget to look after yourself, too.

You will find a lot of support on here.

Sending my best wishes

Ellie

x

[NiaD]

Thank you both. No Lynne, we didn't get as far as the oncologist, though he was admitted to the oncology ward for two nights, then discharged.

He's had a bad night and I can't believe how ill he looks this morning. It breaks my heart to see him like this, a man who doesn't go to his GP often, he doesn't even like taking paracetamol, let alone everything he's on now. His ascites is much worse this morning and I'm beginning to worry that we have less time than we thought. This man is my rock, what will I do without him?

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Nia,

My name is Jeni and I work for PCUK.

So sorry to hear about your husband.

Has your husband had his ascites drained yet? If not, then maybe he needs to be admitted for this to be done.

My contact details are at the top of every forum page, so if you need to contact me, feel free.

Kr,

Jeni.

[Ellie]

Hi Nia

Sorry to hear your husband wasn't so good this morning. I hope you managed to get something done for him and he is feeling better by now. Hope you are also getting plenty of support from your GP, district nurse or hospital contacts.

I can imagine what you are going through. Keep your chin up and try to stay strong.

Thinking of you and sending my best wishes

Love

Ellie

x

[lawalsh]

Hello there,

I read your post and felt so sad for you. Do try and stay strong and let us know how your husband is going on, this forum is very supportive, please keep in touch and we're here for you if you need to communicate, it will stop you from being and feeling alone. Jeni is very good too, from pcuk, and Anna, they have accurate medical info and nurse only with this condition, they are very good to contact. I spoke to Jeni right at the beginning of my dad's diagnosis and learnt a lot which made me feel a bit better equipped to cope.

Sending you a big hug, take care...

Love LA xxx

[ladywood]

Dear Nia, just want to say I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It is so very, very hard and my heart goes out to you and your husband. Like everyone else has said you will get a lot of support from this forum. Will be thinking of you both. Love Marie x

[Ellie]

Hi Nia

Just wondering how you and your husband are getting on? Has he been more settled with his patches? How are you coping?

It's exhausting and frightening to cope with something like this, so hope you are doing ok.

Thinking of you.

Ellie

x

[NiaD]

My lovely husband died on the 15th April, just a few days ago. He was discharged from hospital on the 30th March and came home. I cared for him here, with the help of the GP, District Nurses, Beacon of Hope (local charity) nurses, Marie Curie nurse and of course, family. Kevin was incredibly brave and was busy making arrangements for the 'end'. He was also constantly on the phone to friends and relatives, trying to ensure that people patched up any differences they had and organising selling his beloved car to help pay for the funeral to come.

He became more and more ill with each day, often in pain because the GP's were unable to get the medication at the right level to keep him pain free. I'm not blaming anyone but it was frustrating when he was in pain or at the least, uncomfortable. He deteriorated rapidly in the last few days, and died peacefullyat home with me holding his hand. He was my shining star.

I knew Kev was a popular man, always smiling, always making people laugh, but I had no idea of the depth of feeling that his friends obviously have for him and am amazed at how kind they have been to me. I can't believe that this has happened so fast. A month from diagnosis to his death has left us all feeling totally stunned. What an awful disease this is.

Nia.

[Ellie]

Oh Nia,

My heart goes out to you so much. I am so very sorry to hear the news. You had so little time, but a small comfort must be that you were with your husband

at home at the end.

I sincerely hope that your family and friends will help see you through this awful time.

Sending love and hugs.

Ellie

x

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Nia,

I am very sorry to hear about your husband.

Please accept the condolences of the charity, as well as my own personally.

Jeni, PCUK.

[lynbo]

Hi Nia

Just wanted to send you a big hug, I know how you feel, my Andy was 7 weeks from diagnosis.

I'm thinking of you, and hope your coping as best you can

Lots of love

Lynne

Xxxxxxx

[ladywood]

Dear Nia, just wanted to say I am so sorry to hear about your husband, he sounded like a wonderful man. Will be thinking of you at this sad time. Love from Marie

[NiaD]

Thank you for your comments, they do help. The funeral is next Tuesday, I'm absolutely dreading it.

[AnneD]

Sincere condolences.

Thinking of you at this sad time.

Anne

[margb5343]

Hi Nia

I have just read your post and just feel so saddenened to hear about Kevin. I know exactly what you are going through, I lost my mum aged 64 at the end of Jan. Mine and my dads life has just been turned upside down. This just has to be the worst type of cancer to have in the speed it progresses at the end. My mum was eight weeks from diagnosis with a brain tumour, then four weeks later found out she had pancreatic, then four weeks after that she sadly passed away. i am still thinking and you will be, why us. I find it hard when people, neighbours etc are just carrying on with their normal lives, i feel like shouting and saying do you not know what i am going through, i just want to cry all the time. Life will never be the same for us and im sure yourself. The only consolation i have is i know my mum wouldn't want me to be upset all the time. I wished i had found this site before we lost my mum as i think it would have helped us all tremendously. I know its hard but you need to make sure you look after yourself now.

Once again you are in my thoughts, take care

luv margaret xxx

[DRAD3]

Dear Nia

So very sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you and I am thinking of you and your family.

With lots of love

Deb

[Ellie]

Dear Nia

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. It must be an awful time for you right now.

I hope that everything goes as well as it can on Tuesday.

With best wishes

Ellie

x

[DRAD3]

Thinking of you and your family today.

With love

Deb

[lawalsh]

Dear Nia,

I can't imagine how you must be feeling, I am so terribly sorry for you. keep in touch with everyone, people are so kind on this forum.

Sending you a big hug, stay strong xxx

[deb68]

Dear Nia

Many condolences on your loss - I lost my daughter last year at only 27 years old and I know how devastating it all is. Please know that everyone on this site is so supportive and will be here for you.

With love

Debbie.xxx

[millyjo]

Dear Nia,

Please accept my condolences at your sad loss.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Regards

Millyjo

[NiaD]

I came back to this site last night. I've just reread my posts and am in tears. It's nine months now since I lost Kevin to PC. Thank you all for your lovely comments, I feel less alone whilst reading them. I have family around me but feel so very lonely. I am going to start more counselling with Cruse on Monday. Life is no life at all without him...

[lynbo]

Dear Nia

I know how you feel, I hope the counselling with ease things a little?

You can only try eh?

I sometimes read my old posts and they seem like someone else has written them?

Its all a bit surreal at times xxxxx