My lovely dad......please read, please help

[millyjo]

Dear Leslie Ann,

So sorry to here the news about your dad, it is a devastating diagnosis to cope with, and the waiting for treatment etc., is a torment.

I was unfortunate to have lost my mum to this terrible disease, despite our family attempts at getting quicker results, treatment, nothing was too much for her, as I've no doubt you feel about your dad.

Unfortunately, it appears that this disease is only detectable in the late stages, where treatment is somewhat limited. But as you say, you await a miricle, so who knows, fingers and everything crossed. It has got to be beaten.

Regret is destructive mentally, as I know personally. You could not have known prior to the recent diagnosis what problem was, so please don't beat yourself up.

I hope the news tomorrow is hopeful, will be thinking of you.

Regards

Millyjo xxx

[lynbo]

Lesley Anne

Please don't blame yourself for not pushing for more tests etc for your dad, you were just going by what the professionals told you, although it's easier said than done, as I have gone through that guilt and blame myself, as my Andy also was told it was IBS etc, so I can understand the way you feel.

Also, before when I mentioned the house work, I didn't realise you have a daughter too, so now I know how frustrating the organisation part is.

I am on my own and also very unorganised, my memory isn't what it used to be, I write everything down, then still forget! So your not on your own, you have a lot on a the minute.

I hope today goes as well as can be.

Thinking of you

Xxxxxx

[kazzie]

Lesley,all my thoughts with you today xx

karen

[carmel]

Hello Lesley Anne.

Welcome to the memory loss club! Since my dad was diagnosed we have all done daft things. I started the microwave for 2 minutes and forgot to put the microwavable rice in. My husband made tha tea without the tea bags. And my sister has just about forgot her own name. So don't worry we are all the same, thinking about our relatives and under more stress than them at times. Sounds like your dad is as laid back as mine. Well that's a good thing I am beginning to think with the time it takes to find out anything. My dad has a biopsy 31st march. Not sure why as they've already said it's cancer of the ampullary in the pancreas. Also he has a fitness test. What happens that day is the decider so I will keep you posted and I will try to remember to put the food in the microwave before I start it in the future!!!

Thinking of you

Carmel x

[lynbo]

Hi Lesley Anne

How are things going with you? Hope they are ok? Xxx

[lawalsh]

Hello everyone,

How are you all? Linda, Ellie, Nicki, Millyjo, are you all ok? I have been thinking of you.....

First of all, I am so sorry for not being in touch and on the forum, I really wanted to, but I found that I got to a point just before easter where I was feeling so upset every time I logged on, that it wasn't doing me any good. Now I know it isn't about me, and it is about my dad, but I was becoming obsessed with the forum, looking for every new post, then spending hours (many, in the end unproductive and in no way constructive) sobbing my heart out. I really needed a break, and I feel like I'm so strong again, I can come back on here. I did join a group on facebook called 'Families in support of pancreatic cancer awareness', I'm not on it much, but it does have live chat which is useful. In March, dad asked me to do 2 things,1: rebook the holiday I had cancelled when I found out about dad's pc, 2: start the business I was setting up in January. I did both, and both made my dad really chuffed. I'm not sitting sobbing any more, I'm running my little business but more importantly, focusing on making dad's time really speacial. We've had loads of weekends away, days out, meals and simple but lovely time, all generation of a family together,

AS for dad, he's great!! Really, he's in fantastic spirits. He finished his 3rd round of chemo last week, it was 3 weeks on, 1 week off for 3 months, however now he has to wait a month for a scan. We only found that out in this morning's post, it is Saturday, so Monday morning I shall ring up and try and bring it forward. I am being positive and making the most of his time, for him, me, my mum, all of us as a family. I've realised positive thinking is so important, and everyone seems to think so in the medical world too. I've been comitted to going to every single appointment, there is a healer in the hospital in Leeds where my dad goes, and she is wonderful not just for dad, but for all she has given all of us.

I read in a post as I just logged on about the papaya thing, and Nicki was speaking about it with a chap on here. Well, my dad has half of one a day, no metal knives, he thinks it is delicious and enjoys it. It is healthy so why not? I am going to order some papaya extract too though. Also, he has the Quark and flax oil, and usually adds a few berries, no wonder he looks healthy!! He is so positive, my mum too, she tells all the nurses at the hospital that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him, that he only goes every week for all the fuss and attention they give him, and the tea and Garibaldi biscuits!! She says he needs to stop malingering and get home and cut the grass They amaze me with their strength, we have spent more time being a family which has been so special, since February, than ever I think.

Tomorrow is Father's day, I have bought mum and dad some tickets for a theatre show in August for their 48th wedding anniversary, they will be really pleased with it I think. I bought that on facebook in the group I mentioned earlier by a lady who was fundraising....more positive stuff.

To all of you who were so kind and supportive in the beginning, thank you. I'm back now and strong, I think it was the shock at first that hit me so hard. But I'll be in touch all the time now. Please think of dad, and sponsor me if you are on facebook, there is a link to my 'just giving' page for the race for life on my profile. It is difficult because I know I am not allowed to put my name on here, but please think of my little girl, mum and me and a big team doing it on 26th June.

Night night all, keep in touch, I will visit the forum every day now, my dad is fine and positive, and so am I.

Love LA xxx

[lynbo]

I'm glad you are in better spirits Lesley, cannot find you on fb?

It was nice to read your positive post xxxxx

[kazzie]

hello Lesley you sound so good and positive,and really enjoying all your time together,its how it should be,the FB page I looked on seems so good too,carry on with all our thoughts and hope they have a great time in August,something to look forward to,my Dad was fortunate enough to be nominated for the Queen's Garden party and went to Buckingham Palace in the middle of his chemo,he had a brill time,all the best xx Karen

[lawalsh]

Hi Lynne,

I think it might be my facebook setting, I will alter it now and allow everyone to see me, I am there in the 'families in support of pancreatic cancer' group, here is the link pancreaticcancerawareness@groups.facebook.com. Lynne, you are an amazing wonder woman, blimey, I couldn't believe all the stuff you are doing, it's incredible. There's a lady called Jayne in the facebook group who does an awful lot too, you've got to admire people like you having lost your husband then doing so much for the cause, there must be some broad, proud smiles up in heaven.

Kazzie, that is lovely news too, Buckingham Palace eh? Fantastic or what?? My mum and dad would love that.

My dad finished his chemo but is having to wait weeks for his scan and then 12 days after for his consultation with the oncologist, not good. I'm about to ring them now and see if I can bring it forward.

Will change fb settings now xxx

[lynbo]

Lesley

Can't find the group on fb, or you? Maybe we ask jenni if we can swap emails then we can keep in touch?

Xxx

[lawalsh]

Hi Lynne,

I had my privacy settings open on Monday and Tuesday for you to add me, but changed them back yesterday because I felt a bit vunerable leaving all my business open to the world!! Yes, ask Jeni or one of the administrators on here, they will give you my email address and full name and then you can add me. I can't find you either because I don't know your surname, and I know you are not able to write that here.

Take care, looking forwards to your friend request!!

LA xxx

[lynbo]

Hi Lesley Ann

There was a link on here to the local paper website to see the coffee morning myself and my niece done for puck

I'll repost link, there's also this

http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/2010/09/04/touching-wedding-note-read-at-funeral-of-andy-judd-84229-27201191/

[lynbo]

Here is other link

http://m.gazettelive.co.uk/ms/p/tmg/teesgaz/s4OZSaMQze-PRqQLSPe70eg/view.m?id=2438768&tid=638956&cat=News#quick

[Ellie]

Hi Lynne

I read your article and it was so very sad and touching. You are being absolutely amazing - I honestly couldn't face doing what you are doing. All I've done is made some cakes to sell at my daughters school and will probably do things along that line in the future. I enjoy baking and always took cakes in for the hospice day care patients & staff when Brian attended, so will try to keep doing that for them, when I can.

Anyway, I really do admire your strength and conviction. Thinking about you and will keep looking out for your posts.

Love

Ellie

xx

[lawalsh]

Dear Lynne,

......you are amazing, you really are, an absolute inspiration. I read your stories and felt so sad for you, I didn't know how old you were, you could have been any age, Andy too, but now I see how young you both are and I have to stop myself from feeling tearful. Life is just so unfair, it really is just c**p. You're not that far away from me in Teesside, we're in Leeds and got married about halfway from you at The Crab and Lobster. I'll look again for you on facebook, if you're ever this way, please let me know and I'll come and meet you for a coffee.

Ellie, how are you? I wonder how you are coping without Brian, you poor thing, it must be very difficult for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and my prayers. Keep in touch on here won't you?

I don't want to say too much since everyone is going through such a tough time, but dad had the results of his scan today and the tumour has shrunk, we were pleased and are still hoping and praying.

Good night and God bless, thinking of you both, and everyone else united by this awful illness, stay strong.

Love, Lesley Ann.

[lynbo]

Dear Ellie

You are doing what you can, when you can, everyone is different, and for you, it's early days.

I have really bad days, lately especially as it's coming up to a year for Andy being diagnosed.

Last night though, at the 'meet me in Las Vegas' charity event - we think, up to now we have raised £7000! Which is fab!

And I got a prize for best outfit (burlesque) !!

Stay strong

Lesley Ann

I know the Crab & Lobster, and thank you for your kind words

Would love to meet up, everyone needs a release, a rant, a shoulder, and that's what this site is, and much more

Xxxxxxx

[Ellie]

Hi Lesley Ann

Just wanted to say what great news it is that your dad's tumour has shrunk! Don't feel bad about posting good news - everyone needs to hear it, it helps to keep people going. And why shouldn't you feel good about it? Really pleased for you and your dad.

Love

Ellie

xx

[lynbo]

Hi Lesley Ann

I've changed my setting on fb so you can find me.

Hope yr ok?

Lynne

Xxxxxx