Advanced Pancreatic Cancer- lots of pain.

[Emfems]

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. My mum has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer with new concerns it has spread to her lungs but not confirmed. we are awaiting an up to date scan as her last scan was back in June. Everything seems to be taking a long time and in the past 3 months my mums quality of life has deteriorated. My mum is 56, she is usually full of life, energetic and is active and healthy. She has like many of the stories of loved ones here lost a lot of weight and now she is a size 6 and under 8 stone. I am 29 and have a small baby which I am grateful that my mum has been able to meet and share memories with but I am ever so scared that my mums pain is not going to get under control and that the end is closer that we expected. My mums next step is chemo but she will need to have all the blood tests to see if she can actually have it. The doctor last week felt she was well enough but even over this weekend she has had bad bouts of diarrhoea and sickness. She’s been started on slow release morphine so we are wondering if it might be her body adjusting to this? 
I just really want mums quality of life to improve so we can enjoy the time we have left together. My dad died (her husband) when I was 14 so I know all to well the enormous pain of losing a parent. I just want her pain to be controlled so we can have some nice times together. It’s really helped me reading some other peoples stories and I have been suggesting some of these things to mum eg I read someone tried taking creon in the middle of their meal and at the end also. So I have suggested this. Mum is now being seen my the hospice palliative care nurses so I am hopeful we can get her pain under control and we can enjoy the time together. It might sound silly but I really want one last Christmas together and just hope we can have that and in between can have some lovely memories. My little one cheers her up instantly so that is something to smile about. 
thanks in advance. 

 

 

[Philip T]

Hi Emfems, from experience I would fight all you can to get the best care possible, and also encourage your Mum to keep fighting, get as many calories down as possible. The cancer can easily take over. My Mum fought for a year, having chemotherapy, before it took hold and then within 3 months she was gone. I would also talk to her as much as you can, share as much as you can, otherwise afterwards you regret not doing so. We didn’t discuss dying much as it happened relatively quickly in the end, but also you don’t want to talk about it because it is hard to accept that it will eventually happen. Miss my Mum so much, she was 71, and a very sprightly person until the cancer. All the very best to you and your Mum.

[Emfems]

Thank you for your reply. Since I posted this they have sorted out some new meds for the nerve pain and she has had the blood tests before chemo. She’s also been much better now the pain meds seem to have been adjusted and she’s like my mum again. She’s really enjoying baths and I got her a cushioned mat and she is really loving this. We are talking lots and sharing as much as we can. The last few days have been a lot better and given me some hope. I’m sorry for the loss of your mum, this disease is awful. 

[Philip T]

Hi, I’m glad things seem to be better. Hoping you can have Christmas together. After my Mum was told that no more treatment was possible, we thought she might have months - she had just over two weeks. Looking back, we had no choice to accept it, but now I just feel so sad, for her, for Dad, Grandkids, my brother and me. It is a horrible disease.

[Emfems]

I’m so sorry it was that quick for you. It’s such an awful disease. I thought losing my dad was the most awful thing and never thought my mum would die young too! It’s just awful and it feels like it’s the cancer that the medical professionals give up hope with as it’s just so advanced. Sending you thoughts and strength. 

[Support Team]

Good morning Emfem,

 

I am sorry to hear of the difficulties in managing Mum's symptoms at present, however good to hear the change of medication for Mum has helped.  Emfem, we do host some virtual support sessions via zoom at PCUK, these are facilitated by the Specialist nurses at PCUK, on Thursday 6th October there is a session that may be of interest 'Coping with symptoms'. This is from 11-12.30am.  The details are in the link below if this is something you wish to consider, or possibly something that Mum might also consider joining. 

https://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/support-for-you/living-with-pancreatic-cancer-support-sessions/coping-with-symptoms/

 

If you are unable to join this session, you may wish to call one of the nurses on the support line for a discussion too.

 

Thinking of you Emfem.

 

Administrator

Pancreatic Cancer UK

[torybarnard]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm going through a similar thing with someone close to me. I think the best thing you could give her right now is your support. Even if you think she has given up on the idea of fighting the cancer, your mother still needs you to make sure she has the quality of life she deserves. Whether one chooses aggressive treatment or not, simply the ordeal of having cancer is difficult and your emotional support can make a huge difference.