Mum refusing Whipple operation.

[michelleharrison]

Hi All,

My mum is 76 and we receieved the news that she has PC, we're not new to this cancer my grandmother died of it too. We're lucky and live close to a specialist centre. We went to see the consultant and he's told us that my mum is a lucky one and it's operable, and she can have the Whipple. I was delighted to hear this news, but my mum is refusing she's terrifed of the operation and she thinks she won't make it through the operation, or even the recovery. The thought that her digestion will never be the same again, seems to horrify her.

I've spoken to the Macmillan nurse that's been assigned to us, he's suggested looking at the Whipple Warriors and I also came across this site. The research i've done has shocked me with some of the stories, and if this operation is as bad as it suggests, i'm so worried for her and finding it hard to guide her in her decision process. Time is not on our side and i'm terrifed of loosing my mum.

[Veema]

So sorry to hear about your mum, but it really is great that she's been considered for surgery. It is a huge operation, but they wouldn't entertain the idea if they didn't think she was fit enough to make it through the op and the recovery. My husband was in surgery for over 13 hours, but made a good recovery and it didn't really affect his digestion much at all providing he took the creon. But...although the whipples is the only chance of a cure, it by no means guarantees one...the cancer soon reoccurred and my husband still died. That said, there are those that are cured and go on to live reasonably normal lives...

I suppose your mum needs to think about her general fitness...my dad is 72, but it's like he's 50...my husband's dad was 77 when he died, but he seemed much older than his years. At the end of the day it's her decision, tough as that may be for you, guide her by all means, but let her choose.

Much love...it's a bloody rotten disease.

Vx

[michelleharrison]

Thank you for your reply, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, and he was so brave to go through the operation.

My mum is very young in her attitude to life, she refused to get a bus pass until 3 years ago, said she didn't want people to think she was a pensioner! It's such a shock to us having been through it before with her mum, we can't believe that it's happening again.

[Justamo]

Hello Michelle.

If you can find the time to read my early posts, you will see that my husband refused surgery. He is 84, and was offered a Whipple when he was diagnosed but after a lot of thought refused.

He is having chemo and doing well.

You will get lots of support on this forum, and the nurses on the help line are amazing - so helpful and kind and experienced​ in all aspects of this hateful disease.

Best wishes

Mo

[michelleharrison]

Thank you Mo, that's comforting news to hear, maybe chemo is a better option. I will support her in what ever she decides to do. But it's good to hear other people's decisions, everything seems so clinical when talking with the doctors.

Thanks again

Michelle

[Elaine123]

Hi Michelle it is difficult for us to accept the wishes of our loved ones but it's also essential that they decide. We only know what they tell us but they must have their own private thoughts on what they are going through that we are not privy to and also their fears that they don't disclose so let your Mum make her choices and once she has then support her fully in whatever she decides. Everyone's journey through this horrid diagnosis is totally different and I personally don't think there is any wrong choices it's what suits the person and how they wish to fight this. If your Mum decides not to have the whipple there is nothing to say that with chemo she cannot still have a good outcome....read Mo's husbands journey. Thinking of you both and your Mum will choose what's right for her. Hugs

Elaine

X

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Michelle,

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for your post.

I am sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis of pancreatic cancer - and sorry also to hear that your grandmother also died from this. May I ask, was this your mum's mother?

It is good to hear that your mum is able to undergo the Whipples procedure, although its understandable that she has some reservations too. As said previously, if there were doubts about your mum's fitness, then they would not have offered this option.

I wonder if it might help for your mum to read some of the Real Life stories on our website, to see if this can help her to see how others got on? If so, she can read about these here:

https://www.pancreaticcancer.org.uk/information-and-support/real-life-stories/patient-stories/operable-pancreatic-cancer/

In the meantime, should you wish to contact us for any reason, please see the email address at the bottom of this signature.

Kind regards,

Jeni.

Jeni Jones

Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse

Support Team

Pancreatic Cancer UK

email: support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk

support line: 0808 801 0707

[michelleharrison]

Hi Jeni,

Yes it was her mother. I have been thinking of putting my name forward to look to see if it's hereditary. I seem to think I've seen some trials going on?

We've been to see the Macmillan nurse today my mum spoke with him regarding her fears and her preferences, this seemed to help a lot as she's been very depressed lately, which is understandable. They're going to do another scan and have taken more blood to check for liver function and the markers. She'll wait and see what the out come is. She seemed so much happier when we left there.

Thank you

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Hi Michelle,

Thanks for answering this.

Certainly, it is worth you contacting Europac concerning the familial risk of pancreatic cancer.

You can find out more about this here:

http://bit.ly/2kYWeVX

I hope this is useful.

Kind regards,

Jeni.

Jeni Jones

Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse

Support Team

Pancreatic Cancer UK

email: support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk

support line: 0808 801 0707

[Didge]

Hello Michelle sorry to hear about your mum. Surgery is considered to give the only chance of cure although it is not guaranteed. And chemo is no easy option. I would encourage your mum to decide quickly as this is not a cancer you can delay.best of luck x