New Diagnosis, First Oncologist Meeting tomorrow

[Veebee]

Fiona. ..I've just read your thread. You must be feeling as if you've been hit with a sledgehammer. I'm so sorry for your loss and the terrible speed of this dreadful cancer. Best wishes to you and your son. xx

[RLF]

So sorry to hear of your loss and just how rapid it was! Hope you and your son can get some help to make thing as easy as possible for you both. Once again I'm really sorry

Rob

X

[PCUK Nurse Jeni]

Dear Fiona,

We are so very sorry to hear of your loss so fast - and I would like to express our sincere condolences on behalf of the nurses on here, and the wider charity.

As others have said, it was so good that you were able to get back home quickly, to be with Phil, and that he had some moments of being able to hold your hands etc....

I think the others have also said it all in terms of not being hard on yourself - it was clear that Phil was quite unwell from early on, and you did all that you could, considering the difficulty of your logistics, and looking after your son also. Its extremely difficult when you live in a different country.

Please do know that we are here for you should you need to contact us at all over the coming weeks. As are your wonderful "forum family".

Kind regards,

Jeni.

Jeni Jones

Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse

Support Team

Pancreatic Cancer UK

email: support@pancreaticcancer.org.uk

support line: 0808 801 0707

[fionaw]

Thank you Jeni - I know what you say is logical but for some time to come I will continue to worry-wart about how I should have pushed him to be more pro-active. But hey I understand the need to NOT do that.

Today I've finally managed to make contact with someone in his family, and also received a call (at Luton Airport) from the medical examiner just running past me whether I was ok with his determined cause of death being metastases of carcinoma of the pancreas. Since I saw no benefit in suggesting it might have been the pneumonia I said 'yes of course'. I'm now back in the UK, to pick up the death cert., get on with admin etc. Our son is in Spain, staying with a friend, finally going back to school (not so much because of his Dad's death as that school was closed for storm/flood damage) ... he will be over on Saturday, his birthday (was to have been the last one with his dad.......)so many regrets, so much time.....

[Guest]

Dear Fiona,

It is dreadful for you, and no one can wave a wand and make it better. That is something only time can mend and cannot be hurried. I know what you mean about the admin and arrangements, everything goes by in a blur. Then there is the exhaustion of dealing with things and well, just coping, or not coping. There is a lot on your shoulders right now so I hope that Phil's family and yours and friends will rally round. If people genuinely offer to help, let them. I know how awful I felt and still feel having had 40 good years together so my heart breaks for you and your son who have lost so much so early. Somehow we do all get through it, I'm not sure how but we do and so will you.

You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers

M xx