Newly Diagnosed

[Dandygal76]

I am also glad it was peaceful. Even around all the mistakes of the hospital you achieved the greatest thing you could have done for him. I would be damn proud if your kids were mine. X

[sandraW]

Elaine I am so so sorry to hear that you have lost your wonderful Pete, but so glad to hear it was peaceful, that is all we can ask for. 48 years married you just beat us ,we were 47 years, its a lifetime but we were so lucky to have had them for so long.

As Dandy says, just do what's right for you, I found it very unlike what I expected it to be, I was just so relieved that Trevor's passing was peaceful too, that consumed me for weeks, It's all I kept saying to myself over and over how lucky we were, that seemed to help me so much.

I am sending love and strength to you and all your family, please take care and let us know how you are doing when you are ready, love sandrax xx

[Veebee]

Dear Elaine....I've been checking for your update every day since your last posting and I'm so very sorry to read what I was fearing for you both. You did the right thing for Pete by bringing him home and, apart from the confusion and stress of not having the correct medications on hand, you and your family made his last days peaceful and content. He was a brave man and you've been a brave woman. I hope you'll find some solace and inner peace from knowing that you did everything you could to make your husband of many years comfortable in his last days. He will have known this and felt your love. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Much love Vee xxxx

[Proud Wife]

Dearest Elaine

Thank you so much for sharing Pete’s story.

I know exactly what you mean by describing Pete’s passing as “wonderful”, my son and I said exactly the same when hubby died. Watching a loved one suffer is one of life’s worst ever experiences and knowing it’s not going to get any better, compounds that pain and anguish. In circumstances such as these, you can but hope and pray for a peaceful ending and I think Pete was one very, very brave and exceptional man by having the courage to say his goodbyes with both laughter and tears.

My son and I were able to say our goodbyes to hubby but unfortunately he was not lucid and could not respond which is my one and only regret but…..it’s not really goodbye. Our husbands (and our loved ones) live on in our hearts, in our memories, in our children. They have helped make us who we are today. I look back now and can attribute many habits/traits to all those years with my hubby and I’m so grateful for that. He taught me to be far more outgoing which is why I’m capable of being on my own now.

If you believe in the afterlife, let Pete know that. We have had so many things happen over the past 10 months, it’s too much to be coincidence and know it’s hubby making his presence known. It’s so hard to put my take/experiences into words but whilst Pete’s sick and broken body is no more, his soul will still be with you, never forget you were and will always be soul mates. In order to cope, whether it’s the right or wrong way and I’ve no idea which, I’ve just adapted to these changes, I talk to hubby everyday and I just know he listening.

For now, please don’t even think about the future, let alone tomorrow. You just have to take one day at a time and with tiny steps at that.

You will also need time to help your body recover from the stresses and strains of watching Pete bravely battling this vile disease. Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much too soon. Pete could not have asked for a more loyal and strong woman and Elaine, you did him PROUD. Never forget that. You did all that you could and more. That should give you a little comfort as you try to come to terms with what's happened.

My sincerest condolences to you, Craig, Karen, grandkids and the rest of the family. I will be thinking of you all on Thursday and raising a glass in memory of a very brave and determined man.

Please remember we are all here for you and as I said in my message, I am always at the end of the phone, day or night if you need to talk, or cry or just share your sorrow.

With all my love

From one Proud Wife to another xxx

[Ant11]

Dearest Elaine

I have no more words as they have all been said so beautifully by your forum family. Although we know what is coming, it still hits you hard. Nothing prepares you. Another warrior passes to the other side, no longer in pain or suffering and where he will be watching over you.

Take time now for yourself, to recoup and reflect on the lovely memories. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Love to you all Annette xxx

[WifeampMum]

Dear Elaine

I am so sorry that you lost your darling, brave Pete and send my sincere condolences to you and your family.

Your posts are a testament to the wonderful and most loving care and support that you showered on Pete throughout his illness.

My thoughts are with you now, and will be with you in the days ahead, especially Thursday.

Love

W&M xx

[Veema]

Elaine, I'm so sorry. Pleased you managed to get Pete home though, I'm sure it made all the difference to him.

Nothing to say that will make you feel any better, but you know there are many of us who have been through what you've been through and are going through what you've got to come...we get on with bumbling along the best we can and we've got a pretty good support network going on facebook too, so please, do shout if there's anything you want to get off your chest...it's so much easier to talk about things to those who just 'know'.

Take your time with everything...do what you want to do...don't feel pressured by anyone to do anything that you don't want to...cry...laugh...remember.

Much love and strength

Vx

[stepuha]

Dear Elaine,

My sincere condolences to you and your family. You have been through so much since the diagnosis. I am glad that Pete's last moments were peaceful and he was surrounded by his family. He was very lucky to have you as a carer. You couldn't do more to support him.

My thoughts will be with you on Thursday.

With love

Stepuha

[Didge]

Dear Elaine, so sorry to hear your news but am glad it was peaceful in the end. How lovely that the grandchildren were able to tell him how much he meant to them. Your description of an alternative world that we enter on diagnosis struck a chord with me. Mine lasted 22 months. It is a surreal world. I hope you have had support over this Easter weekend and I will be thinking of you on Thursday. Didge x

[Sandiemac]

I'm so sorry, Elaine. Deepest condolences to you and your family. You did everything you could and no-one could have done more. I will be thinking of you on Thursday, and in the days ahead.

Much love. Sandie x

[Justamo]

I'm so sorry Elaine. There's an awful inevitability about this disease and it's clear that you did everything you could to make Pete comfortable since his diagnosis. Thank God you have family to share your grief.

I have always found a lot of identification with your story and I think that's why I can't find the right words now.

Much love

Mo

[jay]

I am so sorry Elaine, thinking of you all,

love Jayne

xx

[Elaine123]

Hi everyone the past three weeks have been so busy plus so empty at the same time I don't even think I can put into words yet how I feel. I wake up every day and a few seconds later remember Pete is not here , I know so many of you have been here so you will know exactly what I mean, thank you to everyone for your lovely posts they were really welcome as I feel that you were all on my journey with me .

I hope everyone's doing good at the moment and will now go and catch up on all your posts. Take care and thank you again for your support that you gave me especially when you all are going through your own journeys.

Elaine xx

[Quickasyoucan]

Elaine welcome back and I know what you mean re my mum when we lost her and re my Jake who I keep thinking is there when I wake up making me get out of bed but is not. I got home from a weekend away and all that greeted me was a huge cockroach which we have here. I think I shall name him Barry!! Everyone understands and will be glad to see you back xx

[Veebee]

Welcome back Elaine. Isn't this a fabulous forum? There's support for the carers, patients and the bereaved. You know you'll get advice and help from others who are in your position. Take care, look after yourself and be selfish! You're the priority now.

Love Vee xxxx

Love Vee

[Justamo]

Nice to hear from you Elaine. We've all been very concerned about you. I'm sure everything is a nightmare now but it's good to know that you have friends on this forum who have experienced the very same as you and who are anxious to offer comfort.

Love

Mo