25 year old male. Imminent diagnosis, I am almost certain

[longseason]

Proud Wife wrote:

> DG is absolutely right Longseason. It's not a miracle you should be

> praying my friend but a CT scan at the very least. If a clear scan

> doesn't reassure you, then perhaps you might find some relief in addressing

> your health anxieties with your doctor? This is clearly very distressing

> for you and I do think your GP should be helping you in this regard. Xx

I meant a clear CT scan would be a miracle for me, I don't feel right at all. It would reassure me

[Ruthus]

Dear Longseason

It's terrible to feel the anxiety which you are feeling. I certainly don't want to sound dismissive of your symptoms but I think there has been excellent advice given to you. Of course you want to get to the bottom of your symptoms but if tests are coming back clear this is a positive and reassuring sign. I agree with DG in that I would be extremely surprised if a CT scan didn't show a Pancreatic tumour.

Again I don't want to down play your concerns but I am a trained Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and it could be you are suffering with health anxiety. I am just saying this is a possibility and don't want to offend you. With health anxiety the symptoms you experience will be real as anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms but if these are interpreted as serious illness people can experience higher anxiety which in turn increases the symptoms. The additional problems which help to fuel health anxiety are research about illness on the internet and the brain having tendency to go to worst case scenario - focusing on the symptoms which fit with the diagnosis and dismissing the symptoms which don't fit. It also increased self focus and attention on body symptoms (so a person becomes hypersensitive to any body changes which a person wouldn't normally notice) and reassurance seeking. Reassurance seeking can come in many forms. This can come in the form of frequent visits to the G.P and many tests. If test results come back as being normal this can offer short term relief and reassurance for a person but then "what if's" start to play with the brain for e.g what if the doctor missed something, maybe they aren't experienced enough etc etc. This can lead to more visits to the G.P and requests for more tests which keeps the vicious cycle going.

This is only a suggestion but if your CT scan is clear and your G.P is really pretty sure there is nothing seriously wrong it might be worth considering if this could be health anxiety. I'm certainly not saying it is but if all tests are clear I think it's worth considering.

Ruth x

[longseason]

Hi Ruth yeah I know physical symptoms can sometimes be a manifestation of anxiety but I don't think that can account for how I'm feeling, my loss of appetite is definitely physical and I've had rather ominous pain and discomfort at times, we'll see though, if my CT does comes back clear I'll explore that route.

[longseason]

Anybody with experience know if anything flags up tomorrow I will find out immediately after? One or two days after? One or two weeks?

[Veema]

No idea about a scan you have paid for, but we often had to wait a couple of weeks for the radiologist to report on a CT scan on NHS.

[longseason]

Veema wrote:

> No idea about a scan you have paid for, but we often had to wait a couple

> of weeks for the radiologist to report on a CT scan on NHS.

ok then, surprised it takes that long, i always thought they looked at them quite quickly, i suppose my GP might be in the for the shock of her life in two weeks time then....

[Veema]

I think they can look at them immediately, but it's the report you've to wait for. Like I say, it might be different if you've paid for it...might also be different at other hospitals.

[Proud Wife]

I

[Justamo]

Longseason, you seem to have no confidence in your doctor, especially when you say "she is in for the shock of her life" when the CT scan is reported to her.

As you are so certain that she is wrong, I suggest that you find another doctor pdq.

[longseason]

Justamo wrote:

> Longseason, you seem to have no confidence in your doctor, especially when

> you say "she is in for the shock of her life" when the CT scan is

> reported to her.

>

> As you are so certain that she is wrong, I suggest that you find another

> doctor pdq.

it's a bit late for that now really, but i never felt that any gp took my lack of appetite seriously enough, next week or so will tell i guess....

[Proud Wife]

I have no medical qualifications whatsoever but it does appear to me that your symptoms may be psychosomatic?

Try to stop thinking the worst, take up a hobby or something to distract yourself. I bet you start to feel better when not worrying about what you may or may not have.

Having seem my husband pass away from pancreatic cancer, if you really had the same disease and symptoms were present, then without treatment you'd probably be dead by now.

[longseason]

Proud Wife wrote:

> I have no medical qualifications whatsoever but it does appear to me that

> your symptoms may be psychosomatic?

>

> Try to stop thinking the worst, take up a hobby or something to distract

> yourself. I bet you start to feel better when not worrying about what you

> may or may not have.

>

> Having seem my husband pass away from pancreatic cancer, if you really had

> the same disease and symptoms were present, then without treatment you'd

> probably be dead by now.

Sorry about your husband, my symptoms aren't psychosomatic, or if they are my mind is playing one hell of a trick, aside from the hampered digestion I've had pains that I can't really attribute to that(psycho) and I havn't felt hungry once in 5 months. And cancer affects every one differently, I wish I could take more comfort in what you say about the timeframe but I've read so many reports online about people being unwell for many months before dx. Anyway had CT scan today andHave been told to book an appointment with GP next week, going to try my best to take my mind of it now but will be amazed if something hasn't flagged

[Veema]

Without sounding truly awful, I kind of hope the scan does show something, then at least you can move forward with a treatment plan...if it's clear, I fear you will still think you've got something sinister and will make yourself more ill worrying about having some serious illness.

Having said that, I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy...so my fingers are crossed for a clear scan.

Vx

[BlacJAC]

There really has to come a point where you have no option but to take some of these medical professionals at face value if you want to move on with your life. I was told so many things from different doctors etc over the last year or so that now I'm in a better place mentally, they all make sense. I was in the depths of mental hell. It got so bad I actually contemplated suicide. I was so scared i was about to be told I was dying, that I was going to do it myself. How nonsensical is that? Didn't want to die, but was gonna do it anyway?

Two things that have remained with me from my experience, and the first one was said to me on 3 occasions, Google will never tell you what isn't wrong with you. The second being, for all the amazing things medical science has achieved in recent years, there are still a large number of things it still can't explain. If you come away with no real answers, then it really could be just one of those things until maybe one day there will be a proper test for what you're currently suffering from.

Going back to your fear about now having lesions on your liver, if there's one thing an US is good for when used to look for cancers, it's liver cancer. Your liver can be seen clearly and for a mass to be causing pain against nerves or liver pain in general, there's usually a mass/enlarment located on the surface pressing against those nerves. If I recall correctly, most of the liver has no nerves, actual pain located on the liver is usually caused by the thin membrane being damaged or enlarged which does contain nerves. This would be picked up on a US.

[longseason]

Veema wrote:

> Without sounding truly awful, I kind of hope the scan does show something,

> then at least you can move forward with a treatment plan...if it's clear, I

> fear you will still think you've got something sinister and will make

> yourself more ill worrying about having some serious illness.

>

> Having said that, I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemy...so my

> fingers are crossed for a clear scan.

>

> Vx

No CT scan is the one answer I need either way. Not feeling good today at all after a few decent days, not optimistic about this.

[Proud Wife]

Longseason, please take on board what Blacjac has just told you - it was an excellent post.

People with untreated Pancreatic Cancer don't really have a few decent days, if the disease has progressed to such an extent that symptoms are so obvious. Will you accept it if the CT scan is clear?

I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you have to spare a thought for those that have been diagnosed and are fighting for their lives. I have just had word that DG's dad has been taken to A & E. I'm sure he would love to be in your position.

You can't do anything until you get your scan results so please really try to focus on something else xx

[Justamo]

Well said PW. I totally agree with all that you have said.

I doubt if DG is reading this so I'll go to her thread now.

[longseason]

Proud Wife wrote:

> Longseason, please take on board what Blacjac has just told you - it was an

> excellent post.

>

> People with untreated Pancreatic Cancer don't really have a few decent

> days, if the disease has progressed to such an extent that symptoms are so

> obvious. Will you accept it if the CT scan is clear?

>

> I hope you don't take this the wrong way but you have to spare a thought

> for those that have been diagnosed and are fighting for their lives. I

> have just had word that DG's dad has been taken to A & E. I'm sure he

> would love to be in your position.

>

> You can't do anything until you get your scan results so please really try

> to focus on something else xx

Yes, if the CT scan is clear that will be the one answer I needed, in case that was unclear.

I know and I don't mean to upset anybody I'm just seriously concerned about the way I'm feeling, my heart goes out to them as I know what an awful illness this is, I hope like BLacJac suggests it might it will remain a mystery what is wrong with me, if the CT scan turns out clear next week I'll ask for the thread to be deleted

[Proud Wife]

You don't need to delete the thread at all, just be happy that you've been given the all clear - its all anyone wants!!

Yes I agree, let it be a mystery. I'm just trying to reassure you that it's very highly unlikely that you've got PC and if you don't stop worrying, you will drive yourself bonkers.

Let us know when the results are in xx

[Veema]

Please don't have the thread deleted...it provides new people who may be in your shoes valuable information...it is important that others can feel they can post here regardless.

Vx

[Justamo]

Longseason, it occurs to me that if your scan shows something suspicious you will be swept up by the system.

If it's clear you will just be left high and dry. Is there a possibility of your GP referring you for counselling if this is the case ? Or professional help if some kind ?

I really think you need some help to get out of this spiral of worry and constant watching for symptoms. Anxiety will produce plenty of physical effects and you have quite clearly gone through the mill over the last couple of months. I remember convincing myself that I had glandular fever when I was about 20 and even a clear blood test didn't persuade me that I was OK. I was convinced I was ill, and if Google had been available then I would have driven myself mad looking for more and more evidence of the disease.

I suppose it's pointless telling you not to worry, but it won't be long now until you get your results. And for the love of Mike tell us what the result is.

Take care

Mo

[BlacJAC]

Again, I can only echo what others have said, especially those sentiments that almost everyone on here would give anything for themselves or their loved one to be in your position.

Even having red flag symptoms such as weight loss, non tender enlarged lymph nodes and pale and greasy stools (which i had all 3), I was blessed with one thing and it's the one thing that kept me going through the entire process i went through, no tumour was ever found.

You can have all the symptoms under the sun that point towards a specific disease, however, it doesn't mean you have the condition you *think* you have. There was a very nice woman on here that took the time out to speak to me when i was in your position and she pointed me towards her thread. Her scans had picked up a tumour/growth. But like my red flag symptoms, it turned out to be something else, so even if anything was found during a CT, which i don't think it will be in your case, it still doesn't mean the worst case scenario. I'm not going to lie, I felt like a fraud being on here, but I make no apologies because without the people now giving you advice, I would never have coped. Whether they know it or not, they helped more than I can ever put into words and for that I will always be eternally grateful. Listen to them because every single one of them have walked the walk.

None of them are being short with you, they're merely give you the kick up the backside that you need and at the time, that i needed.

[Proud Wife]

One of the nicest posts I've read on this forum BlacJac! Thank you for that. It's always good to hear from someone who's been there, got the t shirt etc. And boy, you have NOTHING to apologise for. I am so pleased you were one of the lucky ones and I'm sure Longseason will be too. I am also really happy that you were able to get the support that everyone on here deserves, whether worried or diagnosed. xx

[longseason]

Hi CT scan with pancreatic protocol has come back all clear. I was extremely surprised as I have not been feeling well at all last few days and I seem to be coming increasingly diabetic(thirst is unquenchable), but I am happy to say whatever is wrong with me is not cancer, while I'm convinced my body is not working properly I'm happy for it to remain a mystery and move on with my life, as it's not physically unlivable. I'll have a blood test for the diabetes but the doctor has told me to pursue counselling for health anxiety and we're basically just leaving it at IBS.

Thanks very much to everyone here who has contributed to this thread, your advice has been more helpful than anyone in real life or anywhere else online. Best of wishes to everyone fighting this dreadful disease, like you have suggested I'll keep this thread up for others as there's lots of good first hand knowledge in it and from what I have seen online this is a disease people worry about a lot.

Edited January 26, 2017 by longseason

[sandraW]

Hi Longseason, that is really great news, I do honestly think that the mind can play wonderful tricks on us. I am not a nervous person or a worrier by nature, but if when I am given medication and you read the paper that comes with it and it says may cause sickness, I will obligingly feel sick, so now I just don't read them until I have been taking the medication for a few days and do feel unwell.

I do hope now all the stress of waiting for procedures and the results is over you will start to feel better, you take care love sandrax xx