Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

[Veema]

P.S.

I do think it's not the time for a DNAR, but I also think you need to steel yourself for that conversation to come...it was the thing I found the hardest to deal with, because it all seemed so real and so final once that had been done, but it's the kindest thing.

Vx

[Quickasyoucan]

Mo I'm glad you managed a good nights sleep. I always found wine helped me when I'd spent the day with dad at the hospice but you managed it without 'medicinal' assistance. I had multiple pulmonary embolisms 20 years ago thanks to a long haul flight - it does make you feel crap. I hope once peter is suitably anticoagulated he feels better. We did the DNR with dad quite early on as it just gets things out of the way. It might be one of those have once don't talk about it again things you and peter could do at some stage. To be honest I think we should all at least have what they call an advanced care directive here, sick or not, as we never know if family will be put in a position of guessing what we would want were we suddenly poorly. Sending you peter and b sunny and positive Australian vibes. X

[Justamo]

Connections, Quickly.

When I got back from the hospital last night I called into my next door neighbours to let them know what had happened. Jackie was very concerned and offered all her support but was a bit red-eyed herself. It seems that her sister (52) in Australia had had a heart attack that morning.

They are the sort of neighbours who you could contact at 3 in the morning in an emergency and I'm so sorry for Jackie who is very close to her sister. You will know exactly how it feels Quickly to have a loved one very sick thousands of miles away.

Thanks for your support,

Much love, Mo

[Quickasyoucan]

That's terrible for your neighbour Mo. And 52 is so young. I understand how she feels exactly. If it helps please tell her Australia has a top notch health system and she will be getting the best care possible. Keep us posted on Peter and also how you are going as well as lord B of course!

[Sandiemac]

Hi Mo

So sorry to hear the latest developments but, as your night's sleep will attest, he is in the best place and you need the peace of mind of knowing that. As far as a DNR is concerned, we had "the talk" about this and it only refers to a heart attack. The specialist said they can break ribs resuscitating, you end up in intensive care and basically it kills you anyway. So worth having. The system means that even ambulance men are aware of it.

We are all here when you need us.

Sandie xx

[Justamo]

Just had a text from Peter, which is great because yesterday he didn't know how his phone worked. I phoned him back, he sounded quite sensible and has had breakfast - bran flakes and toast & marmalade. Yesterday he told me he'd had haddock and a jacket potato for breakfast.

Obviously the 'with oxygen' nurse is on duty because he was fiddling about with the oxygen prongs. No doubt the 'without oxygen' nurse will come from her tea break and briskly remove it.

I rang Peter's son on Friday to give him the news, and again last to update him. He made no comment about his dad, but did enquire about Boris's teeth.

I am not thinking about the DNR thing just now; I will put my brain into gear when required to by The Team. At present Boo and I are in bed and I am designing something in my head. Sort of frosty and bluish but not glittery. I think it may be a quilt or a wall hanging. I design some wonderful things in my head but they seldom make it to the real world. It's my form of relaxation. Sometimes I get so relaxed that I hop onto Amazon and start buying the constituent parts of the vision but I won't do that today . . No space in the sewing cupboard, its full of bags and stuff.

Must stop.

Love and thanks

Mo

[Marmalade]

Great to hear some better news Mo!

It's hard to understand the attitude of some family and friends but there are people who just can't cope with reality so they blank it out, or drink or take drugs or whatever helps them pretend it is not happening. Some it is just illness they can't deal with, I had a brother like this, he could be near either parent when they were at the end, just couldn't face it.

Don't worry about the ATP (not just DNR) it will be handled by his consultant or GP. I know Peter is not ready for it to kick in yet but it is a good idea to have in the background so that everyone knows how the patient wants to be treated when the time comes and where. I know you understand but other who watch may not realise that it is best tackled early and then everyone can get on with making the most of life instead of worrying about what to do when the time comes. It also covers far more procedures and treatments than resuscitation!

I hope Peter continues on his upward climb on the roller coaster and that Boris continues to enjoy his fine dining diet!

Take advantage of a bit of time when you are not looking after Peter to get in a swim and some quality rest, you must be exhausted with the worry

M xxxx

[Didge]

Mo it does sound as if Peter has perked up a bit and if he’s eating quite well that’s a good sign. If neither of you want to have the DNR conversation then don’t. You have to be ready for that conversation and some people never are. I remember getting a phone call from Rob when I was on my way to my parents 71st wedding anniversary to say he’d been admitted to hospital and was dying. I got there to find he’d had the conversation before I arrived and had DNR on his notes. I think I was more upset than he was. Of course once a palliative care consultant had reassured him he wasn’t about to die he got discharged and was shortly after in a Chinese restaurant. Oh and my parents have celebrated another 2 wedding anniversaries. So you never can tell what’s next on this roller coaster and therefore just do what feels right for you. Incidentally I’m a firm believer in oxygen when people are near the end but had to argue for it both times. It made an enormous difference. Xx

[Justamo]

Strange. I posted about an hour ago, but it's vanished. Or perhaps I'm the confused one now and it's on somebody else's thread . . .

What a difference a day makes. Today at visiting My Patient was sitting up and taking notice and talking football/golf/tennis and other sorts of balls to the guy in the next bed. Evidently a Consultant (with a capital C) stopped by his bed, surrounded by acolytes, and announced that for an allegedly confused person, Peter was the least confused person he'd seen for quite a long time. I imagine it's the oxygen that's made the difference, so the Hercule Poirot in me feels that it's probably the Oxygen Nurse on duty, as opposed to the No Oxygen Nurse. I suppose the blood thinning stuff has made a difference too, so it's worth having a midriff like a dartboard if it means you are compos mentis.

I spoke to his MacMillan nurse this morning to bring him up to speed, because he's been on study leave for a day or two. We spoke briefly about the DNR thing and agreed that it was better dealt with before the R bit of it was on the cards.

Peter seemed to think that he would be thrown out fairly soon, on his ear if the Charge Nurse has her way - don't ask - so the roller coaster is grinding away as per usual on Planet PC.

My Other Patient is due to visit the Vet tomorrow morning at 8.45 for a post-surgery check on his dentition. Boo will no doubt turn on the drama queen stuff as soon as I put him in his carrier, but I know different because he has cost me a fortune in beef and chicken which I have painstakingly finely minced and fed to him about 30 times a day. He is playing his usual games, he has personally test-driven a dozen small white felt mice which I have made to put into the collection box for the local animal shelter's Christmas Appeal, and has shredded a new patch in our stair carpet. Daddy will be pleased when he comes home from hospital, won't he ?

The Important Consultant asked Peter this morning if "your wife ever visits you", and indicated that if I did indeed make a guest appearance on the ward then he would like to speak to me. Strange thing to ask. So I'll wait to see what he's got to say. Does one genuflect to an Important Consultant ?

I feel a bit shattered after all that's happened. Boo and I are going to have a boiled egg to our tea, as Nanny used to say, (Boo gets bits of the yolk and I eat the rest), and then we'll have a little sit down. There's snow on the hills and it's perishing cold and Peter's buddy is going up for evening visiting, bless him.

Thanks for the huge support from our family. Thank God you are all there.

Love, Mo

[Quickasyoucan]

Mo so pleased Peter has shown such improvement.

Have to laugh at the consultant. View of the nurses here at work is Consultants live in their own private and v self-important world! However they definitely do have their uses but I wouldn't bother with your genuflect .

Best wishes to Boris. He must be tired after all that product testing!!

[Justamo]

Wow. Yay. etc. (in my day we used to say "Gosh" or "Crumbs").

A staff nurse has just phoned to see how I feel about Peter coming home today. Then she asked if we had an oxygen cylinder, so I said no, and she said that's alright then. (Is it me ?) And then she said the District Nurse would come in every day to do the blood thinning injections, so I said why couldn't I do them, so she said she'd have a little think about that. . . . So I have to go up at 2 o'clock for them to decide if I'm a fit and responsible person to take him home.

Boris has been to the Vet for his check up (all clear) and had his sleeping bag in his carrier. Vet has ordered a sleeping bag from me for her own cat. Could be the start of something big . . . .

Must clean the house up a bit now. It looks like a tip because I didn't care about it while Peter was in hospital. And all that's in the fridge is well-past-their-sell-date packs of chicken and salmon. Need to fumigate it after it's been cleaned out.

Must dash.

Mo

[Didge]

Hope all has gone well today. Can’t Boris eat the out of date salmon and chicken or is it too far gone for even him?! I’m sure Peter will just be glad to be home and won’t worry about untidiness. Xx

[Marmalade]

Great news Mo, really great.

If the injections are heparin they are a doddle but getting rid of the needles is a minefield. We had a sharps box but no one would take it off us!

Sniff the out of date food, if it smells ok it is

Glad both patients are making progress

M xxxx

[patrigib]

Hi Mo!

What a rough time!!!!! I fully understand your sadness and stress behind your humour.

Don't worry too much about the cleaning Would like to send you a picture of my home right now.

Hugs to Bo......

[AndAde]

Great news for both patients!

[Veema]

I did Nige's blood thinning injections after his surgery...its easy.

Glad he's deemed well enough to come home.

Vx

[Justamo]

My Patient woke me at 3 this morning and when I checked on him he was demolishing a plate of buttered and heavily honeyed toast and was about to start on a cereal bar. It seems that he thought he was having a hypo, so treated it by having a sugar load, to be followed up by oaty carbs.

Trouble is, he wasn't having a hypo at all, and his blood sugar reading was 19.

At a more sensible hour this morning (0730) it transpired that he thought he was having a hypo because he was sweating so heavily, and sure enough there were two pairs of distinctly damp pyjamas on the floor. It didn't occur to him to check his blood, or to wake me and ask me to check it, hence the midnight feast. I can't imagine why I didn't wake up as soon as he went downstairs - I usually hear everything that happens, but when it really mattered I didn't. I'll never make it to Charge Nurse.

This morning I administered 4 separate lots of tablets and 3 separate injections and a Fortisip in lieu of breakfast. He smiled weakly and bravely and said that he really didn't want to eat. I'm not surprised. He was stuffed up to the gills with toast and honey. Then I briskly checked My Other Patient for toothypeg problems. All OK.

So I callously abandoned My Patients and went off on the razzle (Tesco, actually) and managed to squeeze in my aquarobics class too. Not bad for an absence of 90 minutes. He's now had lunch and more tablets and is currently having a zizz in front of the TV. He's really feeling the cold, so I got him a hoodie but I don't think it will be a success. He doesn't have the right attitude to wear a hoodie so I'll change it for a polyester cardigan instead. And whatever he wears to lie around in will be, inevitably, trimmed with cat before very long and it's a shame to spoil good clothes - you never really successfully get cat fur off stuff. Fortunately I know a chic little boutique called Matalan which always comes up trumps.

The extra injection didn't cause any problems to me Veema. Peter winced a bit but I didn't feel a thing. You're right, Marmalade, getting rid of the evidence might prove difficult so we may turn into hoarders. Then you can watch us on TV.

Much love

Mo

[Didge]

Sweating does go with PC territory I’m afraid but it’s a good sign that Peter can still eat substantial amounts! No harm done in not waking. Tiredness gets you in the end when you are constantly on the alert. Hope things continue to go well. As for sharps boxes I’m afraid I still have some hanging around. I did the same after my first husband died. When I finally met someone else he thought I was a drug addict! X

[Justamo]

Hey Didge - Dandy Girl found me a website called, and I kid you not, sweatology.com. I haven't been desperate enough to look at it yet though.

We've already done sweating. I didn't think it would come back, but I suppose anything can happen on Planet PC. I've flipped the mattress so that the memory foam side is underneath and then put a large bath sheet below the bottom sheet. I've tried to strike a bargain so that he can have (a) up to three pairs of pyjamas a night providing that they are not ironed, or (b) one pair of beautifully ironed pyjamas per week. He's still thinking about that one.

Tonight My Patient felt like eating fried rice, so I put some prawns and peas in with the egg and rice, plus the secret weapon - MSG. Now I'm listening to 'Farewell to Stromness' played by LAGQ. Afterwards I'm going to listen to some Gregorian Chant. And then maybe the Rolling Stones. Or The Animals.

And speaking of sweat, I remember many years ago telling somebody that: Horses sweat, Gentlemen perspire, and Ladies glow. She immediately told me that she was dripping with glow.

Night folks

Mo

[Marmalade]

Morning Mo,

Delighted that the patient is well enough to be giving you the run around! Just wanted to say that I love the play list and might do the same this evening.

Much love xxxx

[Quickasyoucan]

Time to lower ironing standards by the sound of it. My mother would be ashamed but my iron lives permanently in the cupboard!! Talking of sharps boxes UK clearly has a problem. My sister has just been through a twisted laborious saga to try and get rid of dad's until someone finally took pity and agreed to pick them up provided she can be in all day in dad's empty house!! Hoping both patients have a good day. Xx

[Dandygal76]

I am glad Peter is still being his usual character, it is so lovely to hear. Do you not have a tumble dryer you could put the PJ's in on their own and then fold them so they look ironed? As far as sharps are concerned I think the GP prescribes the sharp bin and then you go through this route when not collected (according to the Dandygal instruction book on how to deal with this unnecessary crap) 1) ask the local authority to collect it as they are supposed to 2) walk into your local authority and say you asked them but no one came... sorry receptionist as I know you are lovely and it is not your issue but here is my sharp box after a month of trying. 3) leave said sharp box. 4) go home and pour gin and make my dog one of those sleeping bags because he would really love one. Said dog is now sleeping in bed with me and I think he did before he was rescued (with previous owner - no threesomes here). If the covers come off in the night he wakes me up and crawls back under again. When I first got him the blighter was not even allowed on the sofa but now... I bow to all his demands and even home cook his dinner because he hates dog food. x

[Justamo]

We're sorted sharps-wise; we have a nice yellow box and when it's full we drop it off at Peter's GP, if possible right under the nose of the sniffiest and most bolshie receptionist. I'm just not sure that I can dispose of the thumping great delivery syringes which contain the needle for the heparin. It didn't occur to me that they might be a problem until Marmalade said so - I'll wait until they become a problem and then get Donald MacMillan nurse to help.

And I think I have things under control ironing-wise too; for many years I have folded everything up to the size of an envelope and gone 'bang' quite hard on top with the iron. While he was in hospital I did iron Peter's pyjamas because it made me feel better (it's an age thing - mine, not his), and I even took home washing from somebody in his ward who was condemned to wearing hospital pyjamas because "the NHS cannot be responsible for patients' personal laundry" and he'd lost an argument with a bowl of tomato soup and I felt sorry for him. Apart from feeling sorry for him he was young and good looking and didn't have any visitors.

I don't have a tumble drier. I can't decide if I'm deprived or just an average Old Age Pensioner. There is space for one in the garage, right next to the washing machine. Because of the Attendance Allowance I trot off to the laundry in the winter with towels and sheets and things.

Peter's pain has improved a lot since the RT. The hospital reduced the dose of Longtec to 20mg from 30mg, and today he forgot to take his morning tablet, which means, to me anyway, that he wasn't conscious of any pain and wasn't clock-watching to see if it was time for the next dose. So despite the awful radiation gastritis the radiotherapy actually made a huge difference. In true roller-coaster style, if you remove one problem Planet PC presents you with a replacement tout de suite, so getting rid of the pain meant that we got pulmonary emboli instead.

Boris is patting me to say that it's time for his goodnight sweetie, which must now be broken into four to suit his toothless state. The Vet assures me that his gums will toughen up, but I can't imagine him crunching his Dreamies with gusto when he can only use his gums. Given the chance he will swallow them whole and then throw them up again in a nice dark corner.

So I have urgent matters to attend to.

Love and purrs,

Mo and Boo

[sandraW]

Hi Mo, Peter and Boo, Everything in you post strikes a chord, been there with cat sick!!! been there with the ironing, I ironed everything, even my Mum's knickers, that was for her sake though, since I lost Trevor and have the family staying I have got lazy there too. I just hang things outside to dry, if possible, then shake them and put them away but I love ironing my grandson's clothes, as they are only iron sized anyway.

I hope Peter manages to stay pain reduced, it does make such a difference to his quality of life,

as you say the radiation was worth the problems it brought with it. as for not hearing him when he awoke I am sure had he needed you he would have made sure you heard him.

As for Boo I am sure the vet is right, but I am equally sure Boo will make sure you continue to

pamper him, as is his right after all, I do miss not having a cat, I am not sure if we got the "unusual" animals or we made them unusual if you know what I mean!, but all of our were real

characters. Please take care and perhaps the AA will stretch to a tumble dryer, then you can be

blase' about the ironing. sending love to you all sandrax xx

[Dandygal76]

I hope you get the delivery syringes sorted - it is so annoying to have to deal with these things that should be made simple considering.

That is really awful that someone without support cannot get their washing done. Perhaps this should be put to the volunteers. Sometimes it is such a soulless experience and it is basic human dignity. I can't even imagine having to sit their with no visitors and no-one then making that extra special effort to comfort you.

I have just replaced my tumble dryer and was so surprised how cheap they were really - I think you would make up the cost over winter and at least you don't have your knickers hanging everywhere! Ha ha.

Peter is doing so well and I am glad his pain has reduced - for dad's bone met we was told by some professional I dare not mention to say he was in pain and they would blast it because of that. But as we know, PC is never that simple.

Can you also not whizz up the Dreamies or something in a food processor? I do that to raw eggs that I put in the dogs food because it sounds awful eating egg shell and it is quite sharp to touch. I do it so he gets enough calcium in his diet.

Love to you, Bo and Peter. x