Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

[Veebee]

Hello Mo I hope you're feeling more rested and that your foot is on the mend. You're a blooming hero travelling all that way after your injury and your situation with Peter. Take care Vee xxxx

[Justamo]

You are lovely. All of you.

To be honest I'm just a bit down in the dumps lately. Naffing PC rocks your foundations and saps your confidence. I've spent ages doing this programme for the golf club (normally a job I just love) and tried four or five layouts for every page. What's all that about ?

My Patient had his last chemo two weeks ago and had a scan on Monday. Results from Dr Feelgood in a couple of weeks. We see his diabetes specialist nurse next week and I hope he will reduce or modify the insulin because we are having daily hypos. Manageable, but scarey.

So we're in limbo at the moment. Totally glorious weather which has cheered Peter up, he's playing one or two holes of golf and tearing about on his buggy making a nuisance of himself.

Boris is a very happy boy because there are birds feeding baby birds all over our garden and his mission is to catch one. The birds are smarter than him and wait till he's almost nose-to-beak before they do a vertical take off manoeuvre. He's happy enough to settle for a Dreamie instead of a feathery snack so we're all happy.

Except me, and I've got the miseries. It won't last and I'll wallow for a day or two and then get over it. I've got plenty to be thankful for despite being on Planet PC and this forum keeps me grounded.

Love to all of you

Mo

[Guest]

Oh how I sympathise Mo,

You are not alone in the moods, living with the elephant in the room is very wearing. Try and have a nice swim when Peter is whizzing round on his buggy and as to the work...there is a time for work and a time to just not bother...

Much love, prayers and cyber hugs,

M xxx

[Elaine123]

Hi Mo thinking of you and I know that down feeling so well and as you say it goes eventually after a few days then it's onwards and upwards again. It really is a 24/7 life isn't it as there always seemed seemed to be something new to worry about. Try and get some rest as without it then it is harder to bounce back. As M said there is a time just to not bother about work and things that need done. Sending love and prayers

Elaine

X

[Veema]

Upcoming scan results always made me feel that way...you get to the point of bumbling along quite nicely and then wham! it's scan results time.

Everything crossed for positive news x

Vx

[Elaine123]

Hi Mo haven't seen you here lately ....I hope all is okay , just get a bit concerned when no news. Thinking of you both.

Elaine x

[Justamo]

You really are the nicest people. I'm OK-ish, just a bit down in the dumps, but today I finally delivered this naffing programme to the printers so now I have time to get stressed out about something else. It's ridiculous, it's a job I love doing and really look forward to it but this year I couldn't get anything right. I've redone it about 5 times which is not my style at all, and it's as though I've lost confidence.

Peter has had a hypo every day since last Saturday so I'm really glad we have an appointment with the Diabetes Specialist Nurse and the Dietitian tomorrow. It seems to me that his insulin dose is too high, and then suddenly his blood sugar is up to 15 when he hasn't actually eaten anything. Of course, I treat the whole performance as though it's an Open University course and I have to get the right answers to every module, when actually I should keep on repeating my mantra which is "You're on Planet PC. Deal with it". I've heard it called brittle diabetes too - or did I just make that up ? Anyway, it doesn't stop me wanting to control it all, which is impossible.

He stayed in bed all day on Saturday and Sunday. Totally exhausted. And although he says he hasn't got an appetite it didn't stop him asking for seconds of Sunday's roast lunch. He's eating more or less everything I give him and I'm running the freezer quite low in anticipation of gems of wisdom from the dietitian. I hope it's the fat one with the huge bosom. She's nice.

Peter's bed has got one of these useful sliding door arrangements underneath it to hide dirty laundry and keep all your money, and Boris has discovered How It Works. He can stick a paw neatly into the fingerhold and shuffle, and lo and behold there's a nice dark space for him to hide. I spent most of Sunday afternoon out in the POURING rain shouting forlornly for my cat, only to discover the little basket tucked up lovely and cosy inside the bed. It was the first time Peter has laughed for a few days so I suppose there's a silver lining in this particular cloud. If I was into cat-abuse there would have been a smacked bottom too, but even I'm not that bad.

We see Dr Feelgood in about 10 day's time and will get the scan results then too. I've got no concrete reason to think it, but I'm expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Maybe I'm pessimistic because I've got a dose of the miseries. Just ignore me. It'll be all sweetness and light next week.

Even though I'm feeling quiet I keep up with the forum news and get my 'Fix' first thing in the morning.

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you: Boris has discovered where I planted his Catnip. Only one plant is available at a time, and the other 4 are in high dependency units made of wire waste-paper baskets so that he can't eat/roll/trample on all 5 at the same time. Consequently he has been tripping out any time the rain stops and I'll never get the mud off his nice white coat. Turn on, tune in, and drop out. Wish it affected me like that.

Love

Mo

[Veema]

I always find it best to expect the worst...the reality is generally better, so you come out feeling all positive...its when you expect the worst and then the news is just that...that's not a good day. Fingers crossed for things being more positive than you expect.

Vx

[stepuha]

Hello Mo,

I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling down but I understand that scan results and uncertainty don't make it any easier. I can't understand why I can get my scan results the same day and everyone on NHS has to wait weeks for the results. It almost feels like cruelty. The 30 minutes I have to wait for the scan results I feel physically sick. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to wait for weeks.

Is sounds like besides the diabetes issue Peter is actually feeling OK which must be a good sign. I hope the diabetes specialist nurse gets his symptoms under control. Fingers crossed, the scan results will be positive.

Now, I would like to ask you for your professional opinion as a cat owner Our kittens have arrived and brought a lot of joy with them. Unfortunately, we keep having accidents, mainly on one specific place on the sofa, even though they seem to be pretty good at going to their toilet most of the time. What is the trick to get them to stop?

I am off to write an update on my story, a few excitements but all for the wrong reasons.

Lots of love,

stepuha

[Justamo]

Hello Stephua, nice to hear from you.

Cats will seldom toilet and eat in the same place. Try feeding them treats in the spot which they are using as a litter tray. If that doesn't work, oil of citronella is repugnant to cats so a tiny dab of that on the spot may help. DON'T use disinfectant as phenol is terribly poisonous to cats. Is it pee or poo ? If it's pee, and only one of the kittens is doing it, it could be a sign of cystitis. If it's poo then it's a mistake and must be corrected as described above, otherwise it will become a habit.

I have bred kittens in the past and have never had to house train them as their mum usually does that. But I did buy a female that would distribute little messages all over the house and I was never able to cure it. Boris was an adult when I got him; he had been used for breeding and then neutered, and I was lucky enough to buy him when he was put up for rehoming. He had been used to cat litter with his breeder, but I use sawdust. He adapted to it very quickly.

I wonder what your kittens had been using in their birth home ? Try to find out and use the same. It might make a difference.

Best love, Mo

[Justamo]

Hello folks. Sorry if you're allergic to cats, stay well away from the previous post and you'll be OK. Or take a Pirotin or something.

We saw the Diabetes Specialist Nurse and the Dietitian yesterday. It wasn't the fat dietitian with the huge bosom which she rests on the desk while she talks to you, this was a new Dietitian who looked about 14 and she was very very skinny. But nice.

Peter and the nurse settled down to a good old gossip about golf, and the Nurses's bad back, and the Skinny Dietitian and I smiled at each other, and then eventually we all remembered why we were there and Peter told all of us exactly what he ate everyday. Naturally enough, it was just a pack of lies, and I had bought the food diary which details everything right down to a shake of salt and pepper to prove it. The Nurse suggested a reduction of insulin, and the Dietitian suggested using a spoonful of sweetener on porridge instead of maple syrup. And then we all went home.

Actually we didn't. We went to Tescos to buy some sweetener which somehow turned into a full trolley and nearly £70, but it did leave me free this morning to swim and have a coffee with my mate Millie and listen to her problems with the new central heating system she's paid a fortune for and which doesn't work. Quite nice listening to a problem which isn't hospital related, so we refilled our cups and talked some more. Peter went to play golf, except that he should have been building an ark instead because the heavy rain had flooded the course and all the golfers were sitting in the bar sulking and drinking coffee and eating bacon rolls instead of hitting golf balls. But it was a nice change for both of us.

Peter has forgotten about his lack of appetite and polished off a lovely fillet of plaice, chips and peas tonight. In deference to the Skinny Dietitian I didn't suggest ice cream afterwards, and since tea he's been too busy shouting at Rafa Nadal to think about it.

You get so used to Wimbledon and hearing "Bonk, bonk, Thirtay Fortay" that it's lovely to hear the French umpire murmuring "Vontaaaaaage Nadal".

And he had maple syrup on his porridge this morning. Peter, not Nadal.

Nadal had Huevos Rancheros I expect.

Have a nice weekend

Love, Mo

[stepuha]

Many thanks, Mo. Very helpful advice.

Very simple solutions from the nurse and dietician. I hope they make a difference.

Have a lovely weekend!

x stepuha

[Guest]

Mo, in case you were in any doubt, we love you to bits. Peter and Wimbledon remind me of Louis shouting at the TV and your commentary had me in fits. Glad the project is done and delivered. Time now for you to get your mojo back, swim, garden, join the cafe society or whatever charges your batteries. We've all said it, the waiting is hell whatever you are waiting for, you can't forget it and you can't move on so you tread water and it's exhausting. You're doing great you gorgeous, funny, talented woman. Love and hugs M xxx

[Elaine123]

Hi Mo just a quick note to say loved your post you somehow bring Peters escapades to life and I can practically picture them in my mind . The tall tales about what he had ate made me chuckle as Pete told the exact same tales lol. Thinking of you both...love and hugs

Elaine

Xx

[Veema]

Love you Mo...I often rest my bosom on the table...takes the strain off the bra!

Vx

[Justamo]

Thank you for sharing that Victoria.

Since I have gained most of the weight that Peter has lost I shall need something in the way of scaffolding myself before long.

x

[Justamo]

Just heard that my beloved cousin died this afternoon at 4.30. Her partner was by her side.

Thank God I made a round trip of 1200 miles just a fortnight ago to see her.

X

[Proud Wife]

I am so very sorry to hear your news Mo. May your beloved cousin rest in peace. xxx

[Veema]

So sorry Mo, huge hugs.

Vx

[Justamo]

Well. Yesterday we had an appointment with Dr Feelgood to get the results of the scan after Peter had completed 9 cycles of Gemcitabine. However, on Wednesday evening we had a phone call from the Specialist Nurse at the Oncology Unit who told us that Dr Feelgood had thoroughly checked the scan, saw no evidence of tumour spread, but was a little concerned because it seemed that the stent may have partially blocked. He asked that Peter have blood tests for LFT, U & E and other bits & pieces. The nurse also said that we didn't need to attend the appointment because the scan was clear and we would be scheduled for a check up in three months time. If the blood tests showed a problem with his liver function then they would check the stent, but otherwise just keep on keeping on (as Veebee says).

So we had an unexpected day off yesterday and last night Peter went out to see friends but came home early, shivering from head to foot, and claiming to be 'absolutely freezing'. He fell into bed shaking uncontrollably, I checked his blood and temperature (both normal) and as he warmed up he began to feel better. As his temperature began to rise I gave him a couple of paracetamol and then checked his temp every hour until 2 o'clock this morning and he seemed OK, temp back to normal. Just to put our minds at rest I rang the clinic this morning, and they advised me to ring the Cancer Helpline. They took all the details, and then put us through to a doctor who asked us to attend the Ambulatory Emergency Clinic at our hospital which, bizarrely, is housed within the physiotherapy unit. (So you can get tortured by the physios while you're waiting for somebody to stuff a needle in your arm I suppose).

It seems that from what we described they suspected an infection or perhaps a blockage of the stent, and since the consequence was likely to be jaundice we couldn't co-operate fast enough. A whole armful of blood went into tubes and bottles and sinister little containers, and blood pressure, temperature and sats happened at the same time. Then a chest X-ray and an EEG. Eventually, after nearly six hours, they let us come home. The infection test results won't be available for a couple of days, his liver function test wasn't perfect but just passable, and we have to watch out for any jaundice symptoms. It's really just a case of 'wait and see'. If there are further episodes of rigors then we have to phone immediately. But meantime no heroic plumbing procedures of the Dynorod variety - which is a relief.

So it's back to square one. No really bad symptoms, no bad pain, chemo finished, just a case of seize the day and make the most of it. Because you never know what's coming next on Planet PC.

Poor Boris has been shut in all day and is Not Speaking, but I had bought some beautiful sea bass for Peter's supper and a tiny bit found its way into a little blue dish. So I THINK we're all friends again.

Take care

Love Mo

[Veema]

Yes...a low temperature us also a sign of infection, which I didn't know until Nige's dropped to hypothermic levels!

So pleased at the scan results Mo...that's really good news!

Vx

[stepuha]

Hello Mo, I am very happy to hear about the scan results. The possibility of infection is worrying but it sounds like everyone has been very efficient with attending to Peter and trying to figure out what's wrong. Sometimes the stent can get unblocked by itself which is hopefully what has happened. I hope it is nothing serious and Peter can start recovering from chemo and building up strength. I am sorry to hear about your cousin. This week has been very intense with bad news about people passing. It is difficult to digest.

Wishing you a peaceful night.

X stepuha

[patrigib]

Very happy for the scan. My husband had the same symptoms several times. This can happen on Gemcitabine. He also became diabetic. Next MRI in 6 weeks but not so confident. Hope Boris has cheered up!

[Justamo]

Yesterday I wrote : "So it's back to square one. No really bad symptoms, no bad pain, chemo finished, just a case of seize the day and make the most of it. Because you never know what's coming next on Planet PC"

And how. This morning we got a phone call from the hospital to say that one of Peter's blood tests from yesterday had grown a very (quote) NASTY bacteria, and that Peter should present himself to Ward 6 to receive an armful of antibiotic. And prepare to stay in overnight.

So we packed the slippers and hospital pyjamas and the teddy, hid the creons in the clean pants, and proffered Peter's arm as instructed. (With Peter on the other end of it I hasten to add). That was at midday. While I was with him he had three different antibiotics pumped in, and he's just phoned me to say they are about to administer another two into his arm. As far as I am aware they haven't actually identified the strain of bacteria so they appear to be trying every single antibiotic in the pharmacy just in case it works. A bit like me hitting every single button on my PC when it freezes. Peter sounds very fed up on the phone; I didn't go for evening visiting, because I was there until 6 tonight, and a friend went in my stead.

Nothing really to report except that one of Peter's arms is now significantly larger than the other what with all the stuff they've pumped in and he's looking forward to a nice little visit from Mr Bogeyman to discuss replacing/reboring/replumbing the offending stent. He is complaining bitterly because they offered him soup for his supper this evening. (No, I don't know what's wrong with that, either). But at least they didn't try to dispense it through an IV drip.

So, like I say, " . . . you never know what's coming next on Planet PC"

Good night, God bless,

Mo

[Veema]

Lots of bacteria busting vibes Mo...I'd have moaned at soup too.

Vx