5 years on....

[JEG74]

I have been reading everyones stories on here for quite a while now and take great comfort in how everyone understands how each other feels when even their close friends don't.

My story starts 5 years ago this month actually, when my own dear mum was diagnosed with PC at the age of 60. She came back from her holiday weighing alot less than she went and very jaundice. They intially thought gallstones but in days confirmed it was PC. Devastated is an understatement, fortunately she was eligble for the whipple operation which she had in Aug 2011. A long recovery but all looking good she continued to have check ups and even went back to work. 3 years later niggling pain in her back showed that it was back again but this time was wrapped around her portal vein and was told it was inoperable and she had 12 months with chemo.

She started Folfinox and had 6 months at a redused dose as it hit her quite hard, she was then scanned and was told it was barely visable and have 3 months off treatment to gain some strength and enjoy life. In which she did even attending my wedding which I was not sure she wwas going to make. Next scan showed it was on the move again so was offered radiotherapy which she tolerated well, a few months later they started gemcitabine (as it had metasised into her lungs) which was no where near as rough as the folfinox, but 2 weeks ago (exactly 5 years to when she was diagnosed) she was told that it has spread further into her lungs and her pancreas and they have stopped all treatment.

As a family we are in bits as we have been on this roller coaster for 5 years, I know not many people get 5 years after being told they have PC and we are incredibly lucky to have that but its still not long enough she is 65 and I no longer reconize the slightly plump strong woman that was my mum. She is deteriating before our eyes and we are just spectators. She has planned everything right down to her funeral and has accepted her fate but I can't.

Sorry for the rambling on especially when so many others are suffering x

[boa]

JEG74 I am truly sorry to read this. It is especially sad as she was able to have the Whipple. I hope that she is comfortable. Catherine

[Linda G]

JEG74, I am so sorry to read of your situation with your mum. It's so hard for you all to see your lovely mum like this knowing there is nothing you can do. Stay strong as a family and support each other and your mum through what is to come. I hope she is comfortable and you are getting all the professional support you need.

Linda G

[Guest]

JEG74,

Don't apologise! The forum is here for everyone trapped in this nightmare. It's the hardest thing in the world to accept that someone you love is reaching the end of their lives. A parent is very hard because of course they have known us and we them all our lives and they have always been there for us.

It is unbelievably hard to accept that we can't change it and that our role is to be as brave as they are and to have the courage and compassion to know that they are too exhausted to fight on when the time comes.

We are all here with you and understand completely your anger, tears and sense of injustice. Post whenever you want and tell us how you and Mum are. Much love, M x

[Proud Wife]

You have absolutely nothing to say sorry about. Your mums sounds one very brave lady indeed. I am sick to my stomach to learn that yet another families lives will be shattered by this evil evil cancer that just doesn't take any prisioners. I am so very sorry that your mum is deteriorating before your eyes, I know how much it hurts.

Please use this forum to vent, ask for help or just let it out. You will find the support absolutely amazing. Because we all understand.

Take care xx

[JEG74]

Thank you all for your replies and especially you proud wife with everything you are having to face at the moment and yet take time out to offer words of comfort you are such a wonderful lady my heart goes out to you. You are so right it is a cruel cruel disease. I may be an adult but you never stop needing your mum.