My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

[SusannaUK]

Thank you for all of you for your messages to me! It is so good to know that people here thinking of us and I do the same thinking of each one of you!

It is just so hard! Fiona, I feel the same, my husband was a big man, now very skinny but still beautiful to me.

Peidg, I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend have the same problem. Life is so unfair. It is just heartbreaking. And your boyfriend went through similar path with the health system, he was misdiagnosed for so long, it is just unacceptable! I am so sorry, I know how it feels to see your big man just losing weight and got so skinny. I hope you both have the strength to carry on and fight! I wish you all the best!

My husband is just weaker and weaker, still not allowed to eat only drink. He is losing weight rapidly and very fragile but still with us. Today he'd had a crazy idea and told the nurses that he wanted to come home for a few hours. They agreed and a car brought us home at 1 pm. The car will come again and pick us at 5.30 pm. He can hardly walk but managed to come up to the first floor on the stairs! He is just such a fighter! I admire him so much. He is sleeping now, boys are in the nursery, so he can have a nice rest at home. I am very happy that he could come home for a few hours because probably this is the last time he is here. I am so sad, but still keep strong. I don't know when the day comes but it will be soon, so I started to talk about his funeral with someone who will help me in this. I don't want to talk about it with him because he doesn't mention it and I don't want to come up with it until he mentions it.

Ahhh, very very hard, but you all know how I feel now, this heavy feeling on my shoulders, in my stomach.

I wish you all the best and thinking of you all!

Susanna xxx

[sandraW]

Susanna, I am so glad your husband has got back home for a few hours, it will be so nice for him for there is no place like home, for all of us.

You are an inspiration with your strength and fortitude, please be sure every one is sending so much love to you all. love and hugs sandrax

[nikkis]

Dear Susanna,

You are such a special, lovely person, even now you are thinking of others!

Love to you all,

Nikki

[Guest]

Wow Susanna, he sure is a fighter. Was so lovely to read that he had come home.

He sounds a amazing, strong willed man.

Thinking of you and your family.

Leila xx

[Cathy]

Hi Susanna

I was just wondering how things were? Haven't heard from you for a few days and have been thinking of you often.

Take good care

Cathy xxx

[jay]

so glad your husband came home for a few hours Susanna,

love Jayne x

[peidg]

Hi Susanna

Thank you for your kind words even in your time of distress. Thinking of you and your husband and boys and glad too he could come home. I can imagine your heartache because he is still fighting and yet you need to be discussing funeral arrangements with a friend. How awful. This disease takes such a toll on your emotions. You are such a strong woman of courage and you give me strength because the last three weeks have been very hard and especially the last two Sundays five days after chemo when I have had to listen to my big man cry and say he is going to go anyway so why must he do this chemo that makes him so sick. It is very difficult to watch and bear. The nurses on this forum have been wonderful to contact me and give me some tips on managing his diarrhea better with Creon.

So to you Susanna and all the other people on this forum who are fighting, caring and mourning their loved ones I say thank you for sharing and creating a place where one can turn to when you feel helpless and find some small hope and comfort. Thoughts and prayers with you.

Idalina.

[SusannaUK]

Dear All,

My beautiful husband lost his fight today morning, 21st of November at 6.53 am. He was so brave, he was my hero, he was such a fighter. Unbelievable! I was there and one of his friends was also there in the hospice room when he had his last breath. He went peacefully, he had no pain.

He was such a great man, everybody loved him. All the staff in the hospice were crying, all the doctors and nurses, even the cleaners and kitchen staff! The doctor said that my husband was the coolest patient she has ever cared!

I am heartbroken, I miss him so much, but have to keep strong for our little boys. I've tried to explain them but they don't understand it yet.

I have a lot of help, my father is still here, my sister and her husband and my cousin are coming tomorrow and staying until Wednesday. I have a lot of friends around me, they don't leave me alone, they are amazing!!!

My husband's funeral will be on Monday at midday, 12 o'clock.

Thank you for all your support and please keep fighting, never give up! He never gave up, he was fighting and was positive until his last hours!

Thank you all again and I will still come to the forum.

Love

Susanna xxx

[Bee]

Hi Susanna,

I rarely post now but keep an eye on the forum, I have followed you posts and am sad to hear you have lost your dear husband. Nothing I can say will help ease your pain but try to take some comfort from knowing you did everything you could and he knew you loved him, in the end that's all any of us could wish for.

I lost my husband eleven months ago, ( he was 43), I know the terrible pain, take it one day at atime and hour by hour you will manage and you will find the strength to keep going for you and your children.

Bee xxx

[sandraW]

Susanna. I am so terribly sorry your husband lost his brave fight against this horrendous disease. I am so glad you have your family and friends around you giving you support at this sad time, and I know you will stay strong for your little boys. love sandrax xx

[Annie14]

Susanna,

We are so sorry to hear your news and we will be thinking of you and the boys, I'm glad you have plenty family and friends around you at this time.

Love

Fiona

[Slewis7313]

Susanna, I am so very sorry to hear your sad news.. He sounds to have been an amazing man, an example to us all and taken from you and your family far too early by this cruel disease. Please look after yourself and be assured that our thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Steve

X

[EmmaR]

Oh dear Susanna, as the others have said nothing we say will ease you pain at the moment just be strong and know we your forum family are all thinking of you and your boys I lost my hubby one year ago on the 19th of November to this awful disease and I thought I would never get through one month let alone twelve but you will you learn to deal with it but the overwhelming sadness is never far from the surface .

Love and god bless

Emma x

[Didge]

Dear Susanna, I am so sad to hear your news which we knew was inevitable. I am so glad I got to meet him, he was indeed very cool. As you know I lost my first husband when my three were under six years old and I am near you and will support you when all the people close to you are getting on with their lives or have had to go home. Although this time is so hard, you will rebuild your life and that of your twins, and there is even happiness ahead, much happiness, although it may be difficult to accept this now. Thinking of you in this very sad time and sending you lots of love x

[Guest]

So very sorry for your loss Susanna.

Leila xx

[nikkis]

Dear Susanna,

I am so sorry to hear he has lost his brave fight, I can only start to imagine how unbearably hard this is. I am sure it will be a comfort you to see their "cool" dad living on in your little boys.

Take care,

Nikki

[rsk1974]

So sorry. Thinking of you

[wackywacky]

So sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your boys x

[Sueoliver]

I am so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you and your family at this time . Sue x

[belgrade]

Dear Susanna,

I am so sorry to hear that your lovely husband has lost his fight against this cruel disease. You have been so brave and fought hard together, and he will live on through your beautiful boys. My heart goes out to you all.

Love,

Hilary x

[J_T]

My sincerest condolences to you Susanna and to your family at this time of loss.

My heart goes out to you and your children.

Love Julia x

[brodders]

So sorry to hear your news --,lots of love Xxxxxxx

[peidg]

So so sorry Susanna for your great loss. There are no words to express my sympathy but you are in my thoughts.

[Birchen]

Hello Susanna

How very sorry I am to hear that your husband has lost his battle with this terrible illness. I am sure in time you will take great comfort in knowing that he was much loved by everyone. I have found that to be something that makes it easier to bear when I am feeling low. My husband lost his battle last Christmas and I still look on the forum now and again. Thinking of you and your boys during this dreadful time. x

[RLF]

I'm so very sorry to hear your news, my thoughts are with you and the boys. You've been amazing through it all and he was very lucky to have your support and love through all this. Be very proud of yourself because we all are proud of you

Rob x