My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

[Bowie]

Dear Susanna, so very sorry to hear about the situation is getting worse. Thinking of you all at this time. Fiona X

[jay]

thinking of you all Susanna,

love Jayne

x

[Annie14]

Thinking of you all xxx

[SusannaUK]

Thank you for all of you for your kind and supportive words!

Sadly not long left for us. My husband was transferred back to the hospice yesterday. We had a meeting with the doctor in the hospice yesterday afternoon. We were told that because the cancer has spread on his bowel, this perforation can happen again any time. Also they told us that because my husband is getting worse and worse rapidly he has just days left to live. In very best case short weeks. I am just so sad, I just cannot believe it! I love him so much and it is very very painful. He is very skinny and very weak. He cannot eat anything, he still has to rest his bowels, but at least he can drink now. He is in big pain and it is just so sad that now he can go any time.

I am so so scared about today. Today is our twins 4th birthday and I just don't want it happen today!!! They asked him if he would like to go home to die or would like to stay in the hospice. He chose to stay in the hospice. I would like him to be at home but because of the boys I think it is better if he stays in the hospice. I spent the night there with him. I just came home because I have to take the boys to the nursery, they will have their birthday party there. My father is here with us, which is such a big help, I couldn't do without him!

I am just praying for my husband not to feel too much pain and I am going to spend as mush time with him as possible. I will spend every night in the hospice with him.

Today supposed to be a very happy day but I am just so scared and want to cry.

I just cannot believe that it is the end of the road. I am totally heartbroken!

[wackywacky]

If you want to cry lock your self in toilet and cry, then take a deep breath, and from somewhere you will have the strength to carry on, Happy birthday to the twins enjoy the day the best you can, thinking about you and your husband. This is such a B of a disease x

[sandraW]

Susanna, I really don't know what to say,to try to help you. I hope your boys have a nice birthday party, and that they have a lovely day.

I am so glad your dad is there to support you, of course you are scared, this disease is just so wicked. I am sure the hospice will help to keep your husband as comfortable as he can be. Please do cry its perfectly normal, and tears do help relieve the tension, sending love and hugs to you all, wish I could do more to help you, sandrax xx

[jay]

Ah Susanna sending you an enormous hug. Dig deep right into your boots and you will find some hidden reserves of strength you never knew existed. Tell your husband everything. Talk about all the good times you had together.

I promised Jem I would be ok and I would make sure our daughter would have a good life. I think this gave him some peace.

Sending you my love and happy birthday to your boys,cant stop thinking about you,

love Jayne

x

[nikkis]

Dear Susanna,

I am so very sorry. You are obviously a strong lady, with so much love, so as others have said I am sure you will find strength to get through the coming days. I am glad to hear you have your father with you and the good thing about him staying in the hospice is you will have lots of support around you. Best wishes for the boys birthday, and I hope you can all have a peaceful day,

Lots of love,

Nikki

[RLF]

I'm so sorry that it's got this bad, I'm hoping for your sake that you can get through yours twins birthday without anything extra on top. We know that sometimes it can feel like you can't go on, that's normal and we all think it, but you've already proven time and again you can. I'm also half your dad is there for you to help, it's definitely needed. My thoughts are with you all, rob x

[rsk1974]

Happy birthday to your twins. I can't even imagine how you are holding it together,spend as much time as you can with your husband, and I hope they can make sure he is pain free. Big hugs.

[Slewis7313]

Susanna, I can't begin to imagine the pain and turmoil you are going through after recent developments. It must be so difficult with the twins wondering what is going on, but they are no doubt also a source of comfort for you at this unbelievably difficult time. This damned illness is so cruel and indiscriminate.

Please take care.

Steve

X

[Sueoliver]

Susanna I am so sorry to hear your news . Please take strength from your lovely twins they will help you. I am so glad your father is there with you. This is such a difficult time and this disease is awful. I hope you find strength to deal with this and I am thinking of you. Stay strong and take care .

Love Sue x

[Didge]

So sorry. You know I am nearby and will support you as much as I can in the hard times ahead. x

[belgrade]

So very sorry to hear this Susanna. My heart goes out to you and your children. This disease is so cruel and you have been so strong. Believe me, you will find the strength that you never thought you had to cope with the days ahead.

Thinking of you all,

Hilary

[Bowie]

Oh Susanna, I am so sorry things are so awful. I hope your Twins had a nice time at their party, it's nice that they have each other. I think it's only those people that have lived through this suffering or watching their loved ones can begin to really understand just how relentless and devastating this disease can be. I hope everything is as comfortable as possible for your husband and you are both able to take some comfort in your time together. Thinking of you all . Fiona X

[SusannaUK]

Thank you for all of you for your supportive words!

He is coping somehow but very very weak. I spend most of my time during the days in the hospice with him and also spend every night with him. I sleep in the hospice too. He can now drink water and clear juice but still not allowed to eat anything, which makes him very weak and he is just so skinny. It is just so heartbreaking to see him like this. He still have hope to get up from this and I don't want to break this. Obviously he knows that he cannot survive but he hopes that he's got more than just days to live.

Thank you for the birthday wishes for the boys. They had a nice birthday in nursery and I spent the evening with them on Thursday, giving them some birthday presents, so they were happy. My husband said that he doesn't want the boys to visit him, but on Friday morning we took them in because he agreed for a short time. After 5 minutes he asked me to take them home. I was so upset because it was nothing as I imagined. But I understand him as well, because he doesn't want the boys to see him like this. Ahhhh, I am very tired, always want to cry. I often do when I lock myself into the toilet. It helps...

Thank you again and I will update you.

Take care all of you!

Susanna x

[nikkis]

Hi Susanna,

Glad to hear the boys had a good birthday, and it sounds as if your husband is more comfortable? I can imagine it is very difficult to know what to do for the best re. the boys visiting their Dad. It is obviously good to involve them, so they have some understanding of what is going on, but I can understand why your husband doesn't want them to see him as he is. When Paul was very poorly and in the hospice earlier in the year, he also found it much more tiring when our girls came see him, as he had to make much more of an effort. It sounds like you are trying to get the balance, which can't be easy.

You are obviously such a lovely family, I really hope too that he gets to have more time with you.

Lots of love,

Nikki

[brodders]

Hi Susanna,

I haven't posted on your wall before. I am so sorry to hear your news. My Mum died 6 months ago from this terrible disease. My father is Hungarian - she taught him English. I do so hope your husband keeps well for longer. You sound so amazing and strong.

love Cate xxxxx

[Sueoliver]

Hi Susanna I just wanted to say I have been thinking of you stay strong and cry when you want to it is a good thing to do. Sue x

[Guest]

Hi Susanna.

I can't imagine how hard things are for you right now. You seem to be keeping you all strong. I really really hope you have longer with your husband and that he is pain free. Thinking of you all.

Leila xx

[sandraW]

Hi Suzanna, hope things do improve for you all, and you get more time with your husband, stay strong for those boys, take care love sandrax

[peidg]

Dear Susanna

I have been quietly following your difficult path since I joined the forum a few weeks ago and I logged on this evening because I have had you and your husband in my thoughts as no one can know how hard this is except you because you are living it. I am so so so sorry you had this bad news about the bowel cancer and that he is suffering so much. I pray that God be with you and your husband now and give you strength.

My boyfriend of five years but someone I have known for 25 years was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on the 22nd August after 8 months of misdiagnosis from ibs to diabetes to depression to chronic pancreatitis. In this time he lost 33 kilograms and is a 6 foot man. He weighs only 58 kilos now from 92 kilos. He has diarrohea daily all this time and pain. He has no energy as he has severe cachexia. He has now had 3 sessions of chemo the folfirinox therapy and this third session really knocked him hard as it increases his diarohea and he keeps no sustenance in. It is very heartbreaking to watch your partner deteriorate before your eyes so I understand some of your pain and suffering and to have two little boys to care for and your families so far away. I am truly sorry and offer you my prayers and thoughts. If you would like to I will give my email address to administrators in the future,

I am worried and heartbroken too at my boyfriends diagnosis but I try to stay positive for me and for him. I wish you strength at this time.

[Bowie]

Susanna, you are so amazingly brave. I can't begin to imagine how you cope with the boys and everything. I'm also on the point of tears all the time, so do understand that and crying in secret. I also understand about his feelings of not wanting your boys to see him, James although still carrying on, struggles with the grandchildren, as they exhaust him and he has little patients or energy to join in and it's heart breaking as you say to see the changes. A big man now so very skinny, still beautiful to me, but oh this is so hard. I hope your husband is pain free and he gets stronger to spend more time with you and your boys. Fiona X

[EmmaR]

Susanna and Fiona

Just sending you both massive hugs having been where you both are now there are no words that could possible convey what I feel would help you both .

EmmaR xx

[jay]

sending a massive hug to Susanna, Fiona and Emma

xxx