My mum!!!!!The love and strenght will alway be with us!

[dorabcoelho]

Mum is in hospital! It~s 2.30 am here in Brazil I just left my mum with my sister. When mum was diagnosed with PC last July 2008 we were told that she wold live 8 or 9 months.... It~s been a year now and she is still alive! After too much pain, chemo and all the stuf that PC brings; she went 21days ago to hospital for a blood test and never came back home. She had pneumonia (consequence of the chemo). During her stay in the hospital her PC got worse and she was too weak for chemo... her belly and leg started swollow(Spelling..) so much that i even asked the doctor if there was a risk the organs blow up. By the second week in there she was no longer able to walk,because of the size of legs and tummy. To have shower or stand up was such a huge effort! Well, yesterday after lunch she stopped talking eating going toillet moving!! The doctor said she would die in the next couple of hours, but she didnt, instead she went all through the night without move a finger.. no water, no food, not able to take medicines through the mouth (her veins were also very bad that was hard to use for medication), despite all her effort she cant say a word, I cant understand why so much pain!!! Please God free my mum from all this pain!! All her life was diffcult why does she has to suffer till her last minute::: why why why.

She is there suffering...

This morning the doc was impressed how strong she is butt he said she wouldn pass the morning... but there she was all day suffering and now through the night again .... Sometimes I pray to God o ake her and release the pain!!

God where are you:

God be with you mum I love you

[Ellie]

Dora

I am so very sorry to hear about your mum suffering in hospital. No one wants to see their loved one going through all that awful pain.

I hope your mum will be out of pain, and at peace, very soon.

Love

Ellie

x

[Nardobd]

Dear Dora

I'm so sorry to hear that your Mum is suffering - it's always distressing to see someone you love in pain. As the doctor said, your Mum must be very strong but I hope that she will be at peace soon.

My prayers are with you.

Love

Nicki xx

[pauline]

dear dora

i'm so sorry your mum is suffering like this,we went through the same thing with dad last month the doctor said where he was so fit beore he became ill he was fighting untill the very end.

i do hope and pray that your mum suffers no more

sending my love to you and your family

pauline

[dorabcoelho]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your posts!

I just came back from hospital and mum is still fighting!! Today the doctor wanted to put a tube in order to take the urine out her body because since tuesday she hasnt been able to urinate.

it is so sad to see my mum there,... she used to be so beautiful and despite it all shes been going trough she is still preety!!

I have to focus on my dad too because he is very depressed. Of course he would .. after 45 years of marriage!

Mum will be 72 on the 4th of august!!!

Please write to me if you can! it makes me feel so good, when people that knows what i feel talk to me!

I am going to bed and try to get some sleep. Want to be with mum early tomorrow ! My sister is there tonight and I was there last night. My sis and I we are both single so we have plenty of time to look after her. I live in the UK but took holiday until september.

oh well, this is just part of my life that i would love to share with you as we share the same pain in a way.

Love to all of you and once again thanks for the posts.

x

[Nardobd]

Hi Dora

Your mother has amazing strength and, although she is still having to fight, it must give you some comfort that she wants to remain here with all of you. Of course your Dad must be badly affected and you and your sister will need to look after him too. I'm sure you'll all help each other through this traumatic time.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Love

Nicki x

[chinup]

Hello Dora

If only you knew how much everything you say hits home to me - and i am sure others here. During my mum's last few days her abdomen and legs just continued to swell yet her face and neck became thinner and thinner until we could hardly recognise her. She was unable to control her bladder and so a catheter was put in and a drain into her stomach to remove any acid/bile. She became jaundiced on the Tuesday and very confused and the doctors told us that she wouldn't last for many more days. The following Saturday was her 69th birthday and we all felt that she had rallied a little - she was eating very tiny amounts of food and sipping water. However the swelling continued and the jaundice worsened, the following Tuesday a decision was made to sedate her as she was getting extremely agitated with the pain and worried about what was happening. She never knew she was going to die. She stopped eating and drinking on the Wednesday and we noticed then that her breathing was becoming laboured and noisy. We were told any time she could go. She seemed to smile and recognise us on Thursday but that was the last time she seemed to be aware of us. The Saturday we spent with her I knew it was the last time I would see her alive, and sure enough in the early hours of Sunday she died. My dad was with her. Her death was of course a release, I swear I would not have had her alive in that state for another second.

Dad is still very emotional as you would expect but we are there all the time for him and he is making progress though I think that he will never get over the loss of his soul mate. Mum was 16 when she met him, he was 19, and he finds it almost impossible at times to imagine a life without her. As for you and me Dora, nothing will ever be the same as we now have to take care of our fathers and it takes more time and energy than you would believe just now. Not that I begrudge it for a second but it is important that you try to make time for yourself Dora and look after your own health, both physically and mentally.

I very much hope that your mum will be released from her suffering very soon, stay in touch. XXXX

[dorabcoelho]

Hello friends!!

I just came back from hospital.

Mum is in coma! I went there today 11am she was like yesterday but with a rough and noisy breathing. We had to use a machine to suck the catarr fom her chest ... she didn~t like that!!

After that she started breatinhg heavily and she was no longer blinking her eyes. Eyes open all the time looking at nowhere. her body temperature was 34.5 and bloody Pression 70/50. I knew she was in coma.

I am glad in a way because now I am sure there is no more pain! I just want this to stop! We are all suffering so much, everyday there is something.

Nicki I was very touched by the things you wrote to me. We experienced the same things.

Mum put the tube yesterday to take the urine out, and today she put an oxigen mask, had the tube 2x through her troat to clean the secretion. The doctor doesnt want to put the tube to her stomach as it will make her suffer even more and she will be in risk to get infection and etc...

Sometimes I dont even believe in God because I can not understand how it can happen to someone! What a pain for everyone!

But sometimes I am so close to God that I feel so strong!

Hope we all be in peace and please carry on writing to me.

Love

Doraxx

PS. Ellie you havent been writing much are you ok

[lorraine]

Dear Dora

Iam so very sorry to read about your mum my heart goes out to you and your family.I lost my dad to p/c in Jan this year he was 60yrs i wrote the section MY DAD MY DAD.

Its so hard to see our loved ones in this way,but it's now in these last few days i found it was more upsetting for us than for our loved ones.Your mum knows you are there and she can feel all the love you and your family have for her.

Take care of yourself, and the support from people on here is a big help.

God bless your mum as iam sure hes watching over her.

lorraine x x

[gillvb1]

Dear Dora,

Stay strong for your Dad and for yourself - I know this time is very distressing for you all but in time, you may feel less anxiety and confusion. Your Mum knows you are with her and will take great comfort from that. God Bless x

[Nardobd]

Hi Dora

I'm sorry to hear that your Mum is in a coma but the good thing about that is that she shouldn't be in any pain now. Your love for her is evident in your messages and I'm sure that your Mum knows that she is surrounded by those who love her the most. I also know what you mean about God - I'm having a tough time dealing with that too. It seems like the good people in this world get all the hardship and heartache!

Sending you thoughts and strength.

Love

Nicki x

[dorabcoelho]

llo again!

MY Mum died on Sunday at 2am. She was buried today at 4pm.

She was suffering so much. My sister was with her and it was smoothly after 2 breathings 2 blinks and a tear!

My sister and I are much better now but the pain and the gap in my heart is still there. dad still needs lots of support and comfort. We are trying.

Her funeral was just beautiful as so many people came to give her last goodbyes. So many flowers were there!!! She is now an angel a bright light in the sky and her soul is free from pain! Mum is now like a little fairy for me!

Thank you all for the beautiful messages I will carry on with more posts.

xxxxxxxxxxx

[Nardobd]

Dora

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum passing away. At least you know that she is no longer in pain.

I'm pleased to hear that you and your sister are doing whatever you can to support your Dad. Don't forget to take some time for yourself too and make sure you get lots of rest.

Let us know how you're getting on from time to time.

Love

Nicki x

[pauline]

hi dora

i am so so sorry to hear about your mum passing away it is such a shock to everyone left behind to deal with things my haert goes out to you and your family we were in your position only 5 weeks ago with my wonderful beautiful dad

keep strong and support each other in times ahead

sending my love to you at this time

pauline

[Ellie]

Dear Dora

Sorry this message is late, but I haven't been online much lately.

I am so very sorry to hear your mum passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Hoping you will get some comfort from the memory of happier times with your mum.

Love

Ellie

x

[dorabcoelho]

Hello dear Ellie,

Thank you for the message. it has been now 16 dys exactly sincemy mum passed away.

Shehad the most beautiful funeral with lots of people and lots of flowers too. here in Brazil the body has to be buried within maximum 24hrs andthere is a mass celbration on the 7th day as mum was catholic.

The law here is a bit tough as we~ve got to get all the paper work donewithin 30 days after death and in a way is good because it~s kept me busy with layers and stuff.

I miss my mum a lot but I am feeling so strong to carry on... tht I decided o go back to the UK and carry on my life there.

My dad has been very dificult do deal with, because of his depression he doesnt help us at all and it cause some arguments sometiimes, hedoesnt want to sign papers, doesnt wat to go to the lawyers and etc, and time is going quicly we just hae 9 days to the deadline and still not choosen the right layer still.

But anyway I am sure thingswill be sorted soon.

Sometimes I think I am not normal because I am not sad all the time asI was when mum was in the hospital and I dont feel cmfortable with it, bt soimetimes I think that it is norma to feel like this and sometimes I miss her so much that I cry and cry and cry.

Well thank you so much for the message, infact I was waiting to hear something from you as you know my pan well.

Thank you and lets keep in touch nd shae our memories and feelings.

cheers

x

[dorabcoelho]

This is my mum and I on holidy in Rome 2007

[dorabcoelho]

this is my dad, mum, and sister in april 2009