Some Advice Please

[janem]

Hi

Someone I work with told me that he is being treated for IBS and has been for a few months, he was complaining for an aching lower back last month, then on Monday he told us at work that he had been to the hospital with a suspected heart attack at the weekend but yesterday he said the pain was severe and although in the middle of his chest they went right through to his back.

Am I being oversensitive because of my fathers recent death because of this horrible disease or should I say something.

He is 62 and about 20 years ago he lost his teenage daughter to cancer so to say something if I don't need to could bring back bad memories to him.

Please can you say what you would do you have all been such a support in the past.

Nikki

[Didge]

I would say something along the lines of 'it's probably not but....' I have a colleague whose mum had similar symptoms to the ones you describe plus she had suddenly become severely diabetic which they struggled to control. As you describe what was initially thought a heart attack wasn't and the pain went through to the chest. I said to my colleague that her mum should get checked for PC. She got her scan and is ok but I would have felt dreadful if I'd said nothing and it had been too late to treat her. As I said, you don't want to worry people and you can say it's unlikely to be that, but you think it should be checked out for peace of mind.

[MSH]

I think your colleague will have all sorts of things going through his mind, and the last thing he will want to hear is the possibility, however remote of pancreatic cancer.

Just my opinion.

[janem]

Thanks for your replies he said the pain has eased for a bit so I think I will just let him be for now.

[SueH]

I hope your colleague keeps feeling better. If he becomes unwell again you could suggest he asks for a scan to check everything is OK. Without mentioning your fear it may be p.c. You would not want to scare him, but I understand your concerns.

I lost my wonderful husband in March, after a three year battle with p.c. He was only 45.

[Didge]

Well, I have to disagree with most of the comments here. I do think with PC time is the one thing we don't have and at least if you mention it the person concerned can make up their own minds or ask their GP. As we all know, if it is not specifically put into the picture everything else but the pancreas gets checked out. I'd rather someone be worried for a while and get the all clear than have peace of mind for a short while and then their world caves in.

[Guest]

I have to agree with Didge. This man could have a wife, daughter, sister, family. I would want to have worry for a month or so, than have to lose someone. It could be just at the front of your mind, as it probably always will be. He will thank you for it, whatever the result. Think the hard part will be how you put it to him.

x

[Didge]

You know the colleague's mum sent a message to thank me for alerting her to the possibility of PC - I think it is all how you approach them. Years ago I was suspicious of a mark on the face of a friend of a friend who I had just met for the first time. I asked my friend to speak to her about it (I felt it was not for me to do it as I'd only just met her). My friend decided not to say anything so I left it. The woman ended up having half her face removed later. I vowed then never to not say anything again, no matter how embarrassing or difficult that conversation might be.