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My lovely Dad has passed away


Janiebobs

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Sorry to hear about your Dad, I am sure you are all very worried, especially him being so far away from home. Lets hope now he has had the stent fitted he will feel a little better, rhinking of you all, take care sandrax xx

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What a stressful time you have had, I am sorry. Hope your Dad starts to feel better soon, and get them to give him whatever it takes to keep the pain under control,

Best wishes,

Nikki

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Hi - hope your Dad feels better having had the stent fitted and that the antibiotic has cleared the infection?

It sounds as though you are doing an amazing job taking care of him. Thinking of you and hoping things improve and your Dad can be transferred to his local hospital. Much love x

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Although the operation to fit the stent in his stomach was successful and Dad is no longer vomiting when he eats. My dad is struggling to eat as he has no appetite and not drinking. My brother who saw him today said Dad seems really down, he wonders if he has given up. Our Dad is fiercely independent and is having to rely on people for all his needs. I phoned up the ward this evening and suggested they try him on steroids as in October he was prescribed them and his appetite improved. I have asked if a MacMillan nurse could go and speak to him - he is till in the hospital 50 miles from his and my Mam's home so not in the area covered by his MacMillan nurse. The hospital are talking about transferring him to a community hospital or sending him home. He is determined not to go home as he is extremely weak and immobile and has been my Mam's carer for the last few years (she has onset dementia and broke her neck in May 2014). My Mam has a care package which has been in place since Dad was diagnosed and the carers have offered to help dad but he always refuses. My brother lives close to the hospital my dad is at, however I live 100 miles away and have to leave my parents home on Saturday as I go back to work on Monday. We are very worried and wondered if anyone had any suggestions how we could stimulate my Dad's appetite.

Many thanks

Jane

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Sorry to read your dad isn't too good. I really want to help you with his loss of appetite, because I know how important it is. I don't know of any suggestions. Is there any particular food he likes the best? My dads appetite has always been pretty good, and when it has waned a bit, he has only wanted snack kind food. I think putting a meal on a standard plate, is a little too overwhelming sometimes. Could you try using a saucer plate? I know you can't get much on, but it might look more appealing to your dad.


Leila xx

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Hi again


Just a thought - I remember my Dad lost his appetite a few times but It did improve again.... (I don't think there was anything particular which helped but it just naturally picked up.). Thinking of you x

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Hi Jane,


Not sure if this will be helpful, but I was thinking back to when my Dads appetite wasn't so good. I don't know if your Dad is old fashioned or not? At the beginning, my Dad would only eat the 3 main meals. If he missed one, he would wait until the next. I could not get him to eat when he wanted to eat. It had to be at breakfast, dinner or tea. I found that quite a big hurdle. Now, if his appetite is low and he fancies, say, a Mars bar, he would have one, whatever time of day. I know this isn't really a suggestion as such, I just wanted to mention it to you.


Leila xxx

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi everyone,

With great sadness I have to tell you that my lovely dad died last Tuesday after a bravely fought battle. Luckily he was peaceful and he did not appear to suffer any pain.

Fortunately I have been able to take long term sick leave so I was able to support my parents during this difficult time.

Luckily soon after my last post dad got transferred to a Pallative ward in the local hospital Dad had previously told his MacMillan nurse he had wanted to die in hospital as he didn't think my mum could cope if he died at home. The staff on ward were so accommodating and I stayed over for the last few nights.

The next big hurdle is on Friday which is Dad's Funeral.

Thank you for all the advice and support.


Jane

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PCUK Nurse Jeni

Dear Jane,


Our sincere condolences to you and your family at the sad passing of your dad.

It sounds as though he was peaceful, and that the staff accommodated his wishes, which is great.


Our thoughts are with you.


Support Team.

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