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Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Fri Mar 23, 2018 7:45 am

It's a rubbish reality for anyone to face. I hate being a widow (the first time I had to tick THAT box on a form made me cry) and I hate being a single mum. I worry about me getting poorly and there being no one to look after me the way I looked after Nige and I really worry about me dying and Phoebe having no one.

You do come to accept this new reality and there is a lot to be said for being able to please yourself....but it doesn't make up for all the other stuff you've got to get used to...its a road we just don't want to travel.

Loads of love,


Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:31 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veebee » Fri Mar 23, 2018 11:24 am

Mo your post says it all and I'm still trying to find my new normal. I've been going through the motions for 9 months but can't find a point in anything, yet. I'm sure we will all have happier days to come and find real enthusiasm for life in the future.

Love Vee xx

Posts: 1033
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby sandraW » Fri Mar 23, 2018 1:05 pm

Oh Mo, I have been through all those feelings, its just so shit being on your own.
I always seem to cry when I do the garden, it was very much Trevor's domain, I did the planning and choosing he did the planting and sorting, he loved it not too sure what he was doing and quite often left a nice healthy weed because he thought it was a plant. So when I'm out there doing, I feel just as you do, even still.
I went to put some washing out this morning, and heard a noise from our very small triangular pond,
on investigation it is full of toads there were 3 having what appeared to be an orgy! as they were welded together, as I looked closer the pond was full (well there was about 12 that I could see) of toads of varying colours and all quite large, if they breed the pond will be full of spawn as as I say its very small, and we now only have one gold fish to eat it. We had 3 and they seemed to devour most of the spawn in one sitting, but the other 2 sadly died, we will be awash with toads but at least they should keep the slugs and snails at bay. My daughter in law is terrified of them, the toads, and last summer they seemed to wait while she was putting the washing out and then leap past her, it was quite amusing to watch.
We love your posts, even if it is about going to Tesco and we need to hear about how Boris is doing too, wish I was nearer then I could give you that much needed hug, as I'm not it will have to be a cyber ((( hug))) instead. sending much love sandrax xx

Posts: 761
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Dandygal76 » Sat Mar 24, 2018 1:33 pm

My lovely Mo... the reality is that this is normal. The wordsmith in all of us (and we know I was a mighty one) just seems to dull over time with our great losses. I never managed to post on my dads thread again and I never realised that would happen... in fact I thought I would carry on with my worldly wisdom (or not) on last hours, lessons learned, funerals, the afterlife (whether there is one for him and the one that exists currently for us). Someone on here once mentioned the 'other side of the divide' and you just don't get that until you are here. And it is a hundred fold worse being your long time love and partner than for me.

Anyway, now I have chirped you up (sorry!)... post or don't post... change your mind as often as you like if you want to. No has your answers or knows your path... I can recommend a soup maker though for the veg front. I always thought 'soup maker' why not just do it in a pot but they are bloody brilliant and really easy. Soup is also really easy to eat just like an egg (and it freezes). Trust me.. my mother is souped out.

Much love. x

Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Mon Apr 09, 2018 9:55 pm

I scattered Peter's ashes today on the ski slopes where he spent some of the best days of his life.

It was a glorious day, bright and sunny, and you could - quite literally - see for miles. And now, when I 'lift up my eyes to the hills', I won't just see mountains - I'll see my Proud Highlander's final resting place.

Love, Mo

Posts: 46
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:53 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby patrigib » Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:03 pm

"Courage" Mo!!!! Great place for Peter to rest! You're still caring for him, don't you? Hugs

Posts: 1033
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby sandraW » Tue Apr 10, 2018 8:48 pm

Glad it was such a wonderful day Mo, and I'm glad the Proud Highlander has such a special resting place love sandrax xx