my fiance diagnosed this monday

my fiance was guagnosed with pancteatic cancer last monday, it is un operable, but apparantly the cancer is still contained in the pancreas. it has taken 18 weeks from the start of stomach pain and reporting of to the docter. it was proberly going on before that as i remember her being a little tired before then. she has lost a total of 2.5 stone with .5 stone since christmas eve. she is in pain alot of the time especially after eating. she is eating very little. she is very tired and sleeps for about an hour every afternoon although because of the pain she can only sleep for a maximum of 3 hours a night. she walks up and down till the pain has subsided which takes approximatly an hour. my question as her fiancee and carer how long do you think she has left, and what can i expect in the next months. i need help too emotionally any ideas?

Hi Peter

I am so sorry to hear about your fiancee - you both must be absolutely devastated. The first thing I must say is that no-one will be able to tell you how long your lady has. My husband was told 4-6 months without treatment and he opted for treatment (chemo & radiotherapy) and survived 15 months from diagnosis and had a good quality of life for the majority of that time. There are others who were told the same and are still doing well (I am sure Laura will post and let you know about her Brian - he is doing wonderfully). Have the doctors given you any idea of what the plan of action is? Has she been offered treatment? I assume she has just been diagnosed and is awaiting an appointment with an oncologist? If your fiancee has specific questions, she can ask them at this appointment. Be sure to let them know how much pain she is in as this should be managed - she does not need to be in any pain and need not put up with it - there are lots that can be done to make her comfortable as long as she lets them know - she needs to speak up. We often worry about being a nuisance - forget that now - time to be assertive, ask questions, chase progress, research options. It will be very overwhelming, I know, and you will feel suddenly like you have an enormous mountain to climb but know that you are not alone - everyone on this forum knows how you feel and will help in any way we can. Ring the support team at PCUK - telephone number on the website - if you want to speak to someone - they are fantastic. Good luck and keep us posted - stay strong.

Much love

Deb

x

Hi Peter

I am sorry to hear that your fiance is suffering with this dreadful disease. But this forum will be a great support to you, we all know how you are feeling. I know after diagnosis can be a frustrating few weeks waiting for appointments, my Dad was diagnosed mid November and has just had his first chemotherapy appointment come through! Apparently things have to be done in a certain order, blood tests, biopsies, scans etc.

My dad's tumour is also inoperable and contained in the pancreas, he gets pain and he says its worse at night when he's lying down so gets up and walks around a lot in the early hours!! He's today been given some strong painkillers from the nurse, hopefully this will do the trick, the nurse did say that the chemotherapy will help reduce the pain also so fingers crossed. No-one has mentioned time scales to my Dad and he hasn't asked. The thing is everyone is individual and bodies react differently, some people respond amazingly to treatment and as Deb said, Laura's husband is doing fantastically.

I know the drastic weight loss is frightening to see, my Dad is like a sparrow and it still shocks me everytime I see him. Although since he's been taking Creon he hasn't lost anymore, have a look on the website for info on creon, it's so important your fiance gets prescribed some. The support team on here will give you all the info you need on it. Jeni has been extremely helpful to me and emailed me all the information. In the meantime if she has an appetite get as many calories into her as possible.

Hope this has been some help to you

Morwenna x

hi peter, i think you have been given excellant advice in the previous posts, havent really got much to add, not thinking great at the moment, bri is coming up to 3 years from diagnosis in feb, op planned was unsuccessful due to placement of tumour, wont bog you down with too much info, he started chemo, its in two parts, called GemCap, in june 2010 had 19 months treatment, had a couple of shrinkages, we are seen 3 monthly and scanned, being well looked after, in cornwall, hope you have a good team/hospital looking after us,

you DO have a choice of where your fiance is treated, do some research, or ask on here, happy to answer any direct queries you may have, but they are only our experiences, but calling the helpline here at pcuk will be great help to you both.

wishing you both well, try and stay positive, hard, but seems to help love laura x

Hi Peter,

I don't have too much to add either but wanted to extend a welcome. We are all here effected in some way by this awful disease and will be hear to listen whenever you need to off-load. I hope that some pain management is put in to place quickly and that the right meds help lessen the discomfort, especially after eating as we found this was the worst pain for my mother-in-law as it often came hand in hand with nausea and mend eating anything became almost unbearable. You will read many stories on here and each is very different, no-one can be sure able time scales, we were told at the end of July to expect up to 6 months and then at the beginning of September 3 months and now 11 days ago 4-6 weeks. So what I'm trying to say is arm yourself with lots of information but what is most important is your fiancee and her journey. Everyone here will be there to support you along the way, I have found this 'family' invaluable.

Please do let us know how you are getting along when you can, I hope you find some comfort here. Best wishes to you both, Sam xx