All very sad and very hard for us all.
However my sister and I are managing to cope and trying to spend some decent time with her. The problem is my father. At first he was in denial and now he has accepted it he is trying to control everything in a very aggressive and angry way.
We understand how distraught he is at losing 'the love of his life' but he is completely dismissing our feelings now saying we will get over it in a couple of weeks like he did with his mother. He was 65 and she was 90 when she died 8 years ago so not at all the same situation. I am 38 and my sister 40 and my mother 75. I also have 2 2 1/2 yr olds who are losing a wonderful granny and I am utterly sad. He is now not even refering to her as mother but calling her by her first name when/if he speaks to us.
He is excluding us from all discussions about her care saying it is none of our business and has now started to arrange for her to come home to die dispite the fact that neither he nor my disabled sister who lives with them are physically capable to do anything. This is probably a moot point as she is to have a catherter in and is now eating minimal food.
He has previously said to me that if mother comes home then my family would not be welcome as it would be too much for my mother so I am having a panic now that I won't get to see her again if this happens. He tried to stop us from going to the hospice but they obviously said that they couldn't do this as all the patients family are welcome.
The worst thing is that he has now started imagining that he also has pancreatic cancer which I tried to explain was unlikely but he is convinced despite showing no symptoms.
Can anyone please give us some advice as he is making a very sad time even more distressing in the last few days/weeks we all have with mother. He has outrgiht refused counselling as he thinks its all mumbo jumbo
