A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1099
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: my wife

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:09 pm

Hi Drew,

Laura is right. The hospice is a great place for symptom control, and doctors often refer patients there to have their medication properly sorted out, or to get on top of things such as nausea. It is much easier to do it this way, and much more effective for the patient. Also, as you said, it will not take as long as doing it via out patient appointments.

Lets hope the end result is a good one for Heather and the rest of you. You will all benefit if she can enjoy some quality family time.
Yes, you probably are a typical man, and find it difficult to speak about your emotions. But, you sort of are on here. It is not exactly face to face, but at least it is an avenue which you can use, and seem to be comfortable with, so do post if you are feeling like you need an emotional release. It is healthy to do so, and it gets the emotions "out there", and off your chest.

Hope Heather comes home soon, with pain sorted.

Best wishes,

Jeni.

AnthonysDaughter
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:33 pm

Re: my wife

Postby AnthonysDaughter » Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:29 pm

Hi, Dad intially started on morphine based drugs, but changed to methadone based ones as they are synthetic and less side effects. he was wearing patches, having methadone and oxynorm caps for breakthrough pain and pregablin for peripheral nerve pain. I know the meds are a juggling act according to the Dr! Dad was very sleepy a lot of the time and they affected him, the Dr gave us one possibility that this was due to him never having been ill before and not really having taken anything much stronger than paracetamol in 62 years, his sensitivity to drugs was never tested before x

Drew
Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2011 7:34 pm

Re: my wife

Postby Drew » Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:46 am

Hi all, Heather has gone. She just had enough, and got weaker as the days passed her by in Hospice. She passed peacefully on Sunday morning in her sleep,with us by her side. She had been sleeping for 2 days. I find it hard to describe how I feel , glad she has no more suffering but my heart is broken shes gone. I'm numb and I actually do have pain. Lonely in a house full of friends and family ,I just keep looking around to see if Heather is there, and for the first time I notice how much our daughter Jade looks and acts like her mum. It's all just mad.

rachelqt
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: my wife

Postby rachelqt » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:45 am

Hi Drew, Im gutted to hear your news about Heather. You have done your wonderful wife proud and from what I read no stone went unturned in your quest in researching medical treatments for her. I hope you and your daughter find the strength to get through this sad time. My prayers and thoughts are with you both. Takecare..Rachel x

louiepc
Posts: 238
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:38 pm

Re: my wife

Postby louiepc » Wed Feb 22, 2012 11:10 am

Drew and Jade

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. I am sending you my most deepest sympathies and prayers to you at this awful time.

I hope that you manage to find the strength in each other to get through the tough times ahead. You will be in my prayers over the next coming days, weeks and months as deal with this terrible news.

louie xxx

lynbo
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: my wife

Postby lynbo » Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:03 pm

Drew
Im so sorry for your loss, and as a widow myself I know there's no words I say will ease your pain, but I want you to know I am thinking of you, and your daughter
Much love
Xxxx

laura
Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: my wife

Postby laura » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:20 pm

dear drew and jade. i echo all of the above and add to it my deepest heartfelt sympathies. i was devastated to read your post, but thank you so much for taking the time to let us, your friends on here, have an update, any time drew someone will be on here for you.
love to you and your daughter, cherish her and of course the parts of heather you can see in her, in time i hope that will be a comfort to you, as she is part of both of you.
love laura xxxx

Mistipop
Posts: 21
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:01 pm

Re: my wife

Postby Mistipop » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:46 pm

So shocked, saddened and sorry to hear of your loss of Heather. Thinking of you and your daughter at this terribly sad time x

AnneD
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:45 pm

Re: my wife

Postby AnneD » Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:44 pm

Dear Drew,
I'm so sorry to hear the news about Heather.
Heartfelt sympathies to you and your family at this sad time.
Anne

millyjo
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:29 pm

Re: my wife

Postby millyjo » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:01 am

Please accept my sincere condolences.
It is so tragic.
Regards
Millyjo

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1099
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: my wife

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Thu Feb 23, 2012 11:02 am

Hi Drew,

I have just read the post about Heather. Drew, I am so sorry to hear about this news so soon . As you said, Heather is at peace now, and no longer suffering. I would like to offer my personal condolences, as well as those of PCUK, to the others on here. This is a sudden blow to you and Jade, and I am sure it will impact your lives for sometime. I do hope that the community are rallying round, as they do in N.I, and providing you with some support.

I am so very sorry for your deep loss. Please know that you are in the thoughts of many on here, and many connected with pancreatic cancer.

Drew, take care of yourself and Jade, and remember, you can always use these forums if you feel it will help.

With kindest regards,

Jeni.

Drew
Posts: 24
Joined: Fri Dec 30, 2011 7:34 pm

Re: my wife

Postby Drew » Wed Apr 18, 2012 2:45 pm

Hi all, I haven't been able to come onto the forums for some time - find it hard to get through every day without Heather.
I went back to work 2 weeks after Heather passed, i just couldn't sit in the house, and I think it has been a big help talking and dealing with issues in work - it takes your mind off things for a short time.
Jade also returned to school - she has her a-levels this year and is hoping to get into Queens University studying nursing - Heather and I are very proud of her but I think it will be a struggle for her to get the grades, we can only hope she does well.
We done a walk a few weeks ago in memory of Heather and raised £4000 so far for the Northern Ireland Hospice.
I have also raised £500 so far with a few more events organised for a Panceratic Cance research fund ( I would like to give this money to a local charity in Northern Ireland if there is one ? but failing that it will go to Pancreatic Cancer UK - just not sure how to find a local charity devoted to PC research and i am not sure if PCUK works in Northern Ireland).
My biggest fear now is for Jade, as both Heather and her Brother have now passed with this cancer. I need to know that the money I raise will help my daughter and other family members with early detection and monitoring.

Any info about the above would be appreciated

Again thanks to you all for your support and good luck

Drew

laura
Posts: 385
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:53 pm

Re: my wife

Postby laura » Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:28 pm

hi drew, how lovely to see you post again, am sure it has been a very difficult and life changing time for both you and Jade.
What a magnificent ammount of money you have both raised, Heather will be so proud of you both x
I am sure Jade will do her very best to acheive what she wants for her future. all you can do is support her, and be proud of whatever she does, as im sure you will, a difficult time for her, with studying etc.
i echo your wish for early detection and positive treatment for this awful disease.
love and best wishes to you both laura xx

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: my wife

Postby Nardobd » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:02 pm

Drew and Misti my thoughts are with you both - I know how scary it all is and sending thoughts of strength your way.

Nicki

rachelqt
Posts: 175
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 9:18 am

Re: my wife

Postby rachelqt » Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:46 pm

Hi Drew, lovely to hear from you again! I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and Jade right now. I hope she gets what she needs for Queens, bless her she has had a very tough time of it compared to most kids her age, so there is always next year too if things dont work out for her.
What a fantastic amount of money you have rasied!! As Laura has said there is no doubt Heather would be proud! Im from N.Ireland also and am not aware of any organisations dedicated to PC, so maybe Jeni from here might be able to help you there!
Best Wishes..Rachel x