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Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:27 pm
by ladywood
Dear Lynne, have read most of your posts and your story is so sad. I think what you are doing for pancreatic cancer is wonderful and I admire you so much. I dont know how you find the strength. A year since Andys diagnosis must be a specially hard time for you. So just wanted to say thinking of you and hoping for some better days ahead. Love Marie

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:05 pm
by ali
Hi Lynbo
You sound and are so brave.
thanks for replying.
I have told my husband and daughter about you and they send their love.
I am so glad i found this site.
And i also hope people willl post positive comments and not feel guilty in doing so.
Helen xx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:22 pm
by ali
Hi Marie
thanks for your answer/reply---did you read my initial post?
Losing a parent or both is very difficult--but probably expected at some point.Does not make it any easier--whatever happens--although with my dad in 2005 it was sort of expected--concerning mum--this was a real bolt from nowhere--so really we are in shock.
But as some have lost their husband (especially when young ) or sisters/brothers is so unreal and really so unfair/cruel.

Today (on a brighter note --my husband ,daughter and i went to Silverburn (near Glasgow ) .
Alison (daughter is a bridesmaid down south to old school friend --end July ) took 9yr old neice and then back for tea--she missing her gran and understands--we had little chat--and she said her younger sister who is 5yr said she" misses gran who is in heaven"--but she would like to go to her flat and eat all her food and fairy cakes ( they used to bake )--well we all had to smile ,laugh and not cry---oh to be a child !!
Thanks
Helen xx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 12:01 am
by lynbo
Hi Marie / Helen
Thanks for the kind words, I am strong and in positive mode when I post on here,altho I'm struggling at the minute, can't believe that my young fit healthy husband isn't here? He never smoked, drank in moderation and loved running/walking etc?!
I feel angry sometimes, I had a meeting at my place of work today, I've been off since Andy was diagnosed - a year now, they were uncaring and just wanted to know when I'm returning?!
Like I say to many, grief, is uncontrollable - there is no end point, if there was we could move on, but for us, everyday is a bonus.
Much love
Lynne xxxxxx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 10:53 pm
by ladywood
Hi Lynne, sorry to hear that your employers are being so unsympathetic, it is very hard to go back to work when you have suffered such a loss. I know my niece found the same when she went back to work, no empathy from her boss at all and she had lost her lovely mother. Life can be very unfair sometimes. I've been out tonight had a nice time with friends but just feel so sad. Take care of yourself. Marie

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:15 pm
by ali
Hi Lynne
Was wondering where you work and thought you would have to have gone back by now ( do not know how the system works )-- i know my GP has signed me off for next 2 weeks--but so much to do--lawyers/crying/putting some clothes out/---puttting our mum flat on market soon--do not really want to--but so hard to go over and look after it and her lovely plants etc. etc !!
Actually woke this morning to think none of this has happened--like we held her hand dying 3/52 weeks last night--so weird. ( was a dream or nightmare )

Feel so bad putting some clothes out (old ,done comfort cardigans etc. )
Still to me your situation is much worse and even sadder
Take Care
Helen xxx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:58 pm
by lynbo
Hi Helen
Just done a huge reply and it hasn't saved!!!!!
I am a chemist in a solvents company, they are rubbish and have been really poor with keeping in contact.
They mucked up my ssp pay and I had to go to Cit advice for help in sorting that!
Dealing with dangerous chemicals is beyond me at the min, I broke down whilst shopping the other day, was my first time as Andy and I did it together, everytime I saw another couple I felt angry and sad.
Andy and I were inseparable, we did everything together, shopping, DIY, socialising, everyone commented on how close we were.
Now it's just me, I'm an only child, and although I have great friends, they have their lives, and I've lost my soulmate.
I was in the garden today and got upset about having to paint the fence?! Andy always said he was better at it.
Also, if it helps, all Andys clothes are still hung up, shoes in hall, coat on peg, toothbrush in bathroom, I can't / wont move them
Xxxxxxx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:09 pm
by ali
Hi Lynne
Hope you are feeling slightly better this week--i have had my up and down days ( bad day Tues ) --but remember this was my mum who had
a good healthy life--it is not my husband so you will feel so differant from me at the moment--actually i have no idea how to advice you to cope with life---no point saying move on ----as i can only imagine you do not wish too--yet! ( i would not wish too either )
I have not written a letter to hospital but still on my mind--no rush really
Have been reading these boards but not posted very much .
Take Care
Helen xxxx

Re: Am I being unreasonable

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:14 pm
by ali
hi just read your last post again AND i think you should slowly start to clear some of Andy'sthings out of your flat/house--just take or do do afew things at a time
take care
thoughts are with you
Helen xx