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Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:45 am

I do hope there is somewhere at the hospice for you to get some sleep whilst still being close to Peter. Hopefully the next few days will rejuvenate you both. It's so difficult caring for someone when you are in your own.

Vx

Sandiemac
Posts: 69
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 11:27 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Sandiemac » Thu Jan 04, 2018 12:21 pm

Hopefully by now Peter is tucked up nice and safe in the hospice and you can start to draw
breath. No wonder you are exhausted. Try and think of yourself now - it's important. We are all here when you are ready to talk again. xx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Thu Jan 04, 2018 9:06 pm

Everything about the hospice is wonderful. The staff, the surroundings - Peter has a room overlooking the river with its own patio - the ambiance, the facilities for visitors, everything is perfect. It's really 5*, and people like me lower the tone. Grey skin and hair, wearing the only pair of jeans which still fit, no socks, mucky trainers - the kind of ensemble which only somebody who hasn't been to bed since Christmas Eve can put together. Eat your heart out, Kate Moss.

Anyway. Thanks to the Temazepam administered at stupid o'clock this morning, Peter was out cold when the ambulance arrived. He was packed, protesting, into a carry chair and transferred to a stretcher for the 10 minute journey to the hospice, and decanted into a bed on arrival. I was introduced to 'his' nurse, and then cuddled by his doctor (female). I can't think of saintly enough names for either of them, but I'm working on it.

I will finish this post tomorrow, but right now I'm just about asleep. It's been a long day.

Love Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:25 pm

Good. Have a good sleep. I'm sure they've seen worse fashion faux pas..

Vx

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Didge » Thu Jan 04, 2018 11:34 pm

Good to hear this Mo. Sleep well x

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Fri Jan 05, 2018 2:21 am

Mo I'm so relieved. It sounds like our hospice, which was a simply beautiful place. I hope by the time you read this you have had a decent sleep. Xxx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 397
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Wife&Mum » Fri Jan 05, 2018 9:06 am

So pleased to hear that the hospice is wonderful and hoping that you both had a good, restful night.
Sending you and Peter some more e-hugs.
W&M xx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby sandraW » Fri Jan 05, 2018 12:10 pm

Mo, that's wonderful, I hope you get a good nights rest, if you do things will look better in the morning. Hospices are truly wonderful places and I am sure the hug you got from the doctor was
sorely needed, our doctor was just the same, they understand just what you are going through.
Sending you lots more ((hugs)) love sandrax xx

AndAde
Posts: 32
Joined: Thu May 18, 2017 8:51 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby AndAde » Fri Jan 05, 2018 1:20 pm

So happy you've got the help you need.

Sending cwtches from Wales xx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Fri Jan 05, 2018 10:21 pm

I am at Peter's bedside now, quite comfy in a reclining armchair. I have bought in the patchwork quilt from his bed at home, complete with Boris's fur, so that Peter has something familiar near him if he wakes up.

I think it's clear that I won't be taking him home again.

The lovely doctor told me this morning that they would have to sedate Peter quite heavily, because his delirium is making him terribly agitated. They had somebody at his bedside all night last night, but even then he was trying to open the patio doors and it took two of them to get him back to bed. When I got here at 10 this morning he was still asleep, but when he woke up he wanted to 'go home'. And yet the night before he was admitted here he turned the house upside down because he wanted to go home. I haven't tackled the clean-up operation yet because I would rather be here (at the hospice) than doing stuff where it really doesn't matter.

They haven't been able to get blood either, but nobody seems to mind that too much. The last blood tests our GP did were satisfactory. The really important thing is that he is pain-free, comfortable, and unaware of the end result of this ghastly disease. There are no lines of pain on his face, his body is relaxed and his hands unclenched for the first time in ages.

I nipped home at tea time to feed Boo and reassure him that I haven't left home. When he was awake yesterday Peter talked about Boris and the staff suggested that I bring him in to visit, but my boy might think he was off to the vet if I put him in his carry case and I don't want to alarm him.

I am going home shortly; I'm only 10 minutes away so can come back if there are any changes.

I've read this over and it doesn't sound like me at all.

Andrea, what us a cwtch?

Love Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:06 pm

A cwtch is a lovely big welsh hug.

I think that's the only downside to the whole hospice situation...not going to be taking him home again. I know many people go into the hospice and then go home when they're feeling better. It was the one thing I was worried about with Nige...we'd agreed he would go into the hospice if things got too much for me, but I couldn't bear the thought of him knowing it would be the last time he left our home. Thankfully, he was out of it when he got taken into hospital and it seems that Peter wasn't fully aware of where he was going either.

All we can hope now Mo, is that he remains calm. peaceful and pain free. He's been a total trooper and done so well and you've been amazing looking after him. It's just too sad that it comes to this.

Loads of love

Vx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:35 pm

Thanks V. I feel quite cwtched.

I've just got home, because I was concerned about Boo, and they have just had to give Peter another dose of chemical cosh. He roused a little, so they tried, so carefully and gently, to take him to the bathroom but he wasn't prepared to cooperate one little bit. Even a strategically placed receptacle didn't produce a result and by this time he was very agitated, so the on-call doctor advised a sedative.

When I left he was settling down again so I decided to come home, make some phone calls, and spend some time with Boo. Having spent the day asleep on top of a radiator, Boo now wants to play games so is lugging his mouse and teddy up and down the stairs. I feel quite spaced out, everything is surreal and I know that I am going to remember this week for the rest if my life.

I can get to the hospice in 10 minutes if the traffic lights are with me so I'll just snooze at home rather than at the hospice.

Night folks
M

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Fri Jan 05, 2018 11:37 pm

Night Mo.

Vx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sat Jan 06, 2018 5:20 am

Mo, my lovely mum used to offer cwtchs too, as we are a Welsh family. I am so glad your hospice is so lovely. Dad liked ours so much that he had 2 visits and insisted with success that he wanted to die there. I like to think of it as his final victory, as it was just like a 5 star hotel and they were able to keep dad as comfortable as possible with constant adjustments to pain meds. They also had this wonderful bath/spa which dad insisted on using daily on his first visit. Don't worry about the bloods. The staff told us, as you have already worked out, that being comfortable is the ultimate goal. I hope you and Boo manage some sleep. Pets are the ultimate comfort to many of us. Xxx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sat Jan 06, 2018 6:05 am

As a Catholic, I have always thought of death as a matter of changing trains to reach our ultimate destination. It seems to me that Peter is in some sort of waiting room, perhaps on Platform 2018, biding time until the right train comes along. A bit like those VIP airport lounges.

May sound a bit simplistic or childlike, but it comforts me. As does the thought that he will be reunited with our baby son, Phadraig, who died in 1974.

M