A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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chinup
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:22 pm

Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby chinup » Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:08 am

Just wanted to tell you that my lovely Mum passed away in the early hours of this morning. She was very peaceful and calm, with my Dad by her side, just as they wanted. The Hospice care we have all received has been outstanding and has made this terrible time a little easier for us.

I don't know what to make of pancreatic cancer. After a reasonably good time, the speed at which it consumed her was unbelievable. But she was so stoic and brave and when we left her this mornng she was every bit as beautiful as she's always been. I loved her so very much, we all did. She was even loved by her son in laws.

Just have to take one step at a time now and support my Dad. He's bearing up well. Would you believe that today is our daughter's 13th birthday and her grandma would have insisted that the show must go on regardless. We'll do our best.

Lorraine, thank you so much for thinking about me last night. You must have know something was up. To everyone else, my heartfelt thoughts are with you and your relatives. Treasure every moment you have.

godbless XXXX

Nardobd
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:25 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby Nardobd » Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:35 pm

Chinup

So sorry to hear you have lost your Mum but I'm pleased to hear that her passing was peaceful. I'm sure you have many, many wonderful memories.

Thinking of you at this sad time.

Nicki

xx

lorraine
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:35 am

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby lorraine » Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:38 pm

Dear Chinup
Iam so very sorry to hear about your beautiful mum.Just know shes at peace now and p/c can no longer cause her pain.
She tried so very hard to beat it and you and your family gave her great strength,courage and love which she will hold with her forever.
Just take each day as it comes as you will have good and bad days.Just take things at your own pace,i know its hard right now.
Your beautiful mum will always be with you watching over you and your family.
Iam truly sad that you had to write this today,as i know how hard that is to do.
Iam here if you need to talk,but i really understand if you find it hard to write back just now.
Take care chinup
Lorraine x
Last edited by lorraine on Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby Ellie » Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:08 pm

Dear Chinup

I am so truly sorry to read your very sad news. You must be devastated.

At least you have the consolation of knowing your Mum was peaceful at the end and she had her loving family around her. It's not what any of us want our loved ones to go through though, is it?

Hope you can find some small comfort in memories of happier times together.

Thinking of you.

Love
Ellie
xx

chinup
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:22 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby chinup » Wed Apr 29, 2009 7:52 pm

Thanks for your kind words everybody. It really means a lot to sign in here and find that someone has taken a minute to offer some words of support.

It was Mum's funeral today and everything went really well for us - just as mum would have wanted. Even down to the glorious sunshine, I could just imagine her saying 'It's turned out lovely'. Still taking it one day at a time and helping my dad do everything he needs to do and we seem to be doing ok I think. Still overcome with grief at times but it's early days.

Anyway, thinking of you all, I'll still be checking in regularly, keep up the good work everybody and try not to let things get you too down for too long.

Lorraine,
I know you understand, I felt like writing today but I haven't wanted to until now. I think the funeral today has helped a bit, but I don't know how it will go from here. Hope you are feeling ok and that memories of your dad are happy ones now, I can tell from what you say that it's hard for you still, it's early days for you too though. I'm hoping that the images of my beautiful mum being so ill will fade from my mind soon. I went to see her at the funeral home last week and they had made her look really lovely and peaceful, that helped a bit. Anyway, take care, XX

lorraine
Posts: 66
Joined: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:35 am

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby lorraine » Wed Apr 29, 2009 8:55 pm

Dear Chinup
Iam glad everything went as well as it could today,it's a hard day to get through.
We spreaded dad ashes over easter as he wonted to go back home, and since then i've felt things get easier,like its time to move on (but of course never forget).
And yes the images will start to fade,you just have to try not to think about them and think of all the good things you did with your mum and how she made you laugh.
Take care
Lorraine

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby Ellie » Sat May 09, 2009 9:11 am

Dear Chinup

Not sure if you will still be visiting the site, but I was wondering how you are getting on? I know you never get over losing your mum, but hoping that you are doing ok and maybe things are a tiny bit easier for you.

I am sure we are all thinking about you at the moment.

Best wishes
Ellie
xx

chinup
Posts: 47
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:22 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby chinup » Sat May 09, 2009 8:24 pm

Dear Ellie

Thanks for thinking of us. I am visiting daily but like Lorraine, sometimes it is hard to think of what to say. We are doing well though: Dad is trying very hard to keep busy and move forward with his life - he is taking charge of things and is pretty well on top of all the formalities, etc. He gets very upset and cries daily but we would be surprised if he didn't to be honest. His sister has just lost her husband to cancer and he went to see her last week and I think that the two of them pouring out their feelings to each other has done him a power of good. We are getting back to normal and feel more in control of things and we have got quite a few 'new' routines going with Dad which we are all enjoying. It's a funny thing to say but I feel that at the moment we are all so relieved that the terrible strain and stress of seeing my poor mum so ill is over that we perhaps haven't quite come to terms with the idea that she has gone. Not sure if that makes any sense. Or maybe we have come to terms with it and are moving on, I just don't now. I wonder if perhaps the grieving process somehow started before she died (that certainly happened when I lost my first husband to cancer) and that is why we seem to be doing ok. It's one day at a time though and there is probably a long way to go yet.

Anyway, very pleasing indeed to hear that your husband is doing well and I mean that very sincerely. If he feels really well then you can more or less assume that the scan results will be favourable and in any case, the time is right for you to do some nice normal things and it's great that you have a holiday booked. i would ask the hospital to organise any treatment around your holiday. A spot on the liver can stay like that for a long time - if the cancer is stable then that is as good as you can hope for. I had to smile when I read that the doctor told you that the chemo wasn't causing the headaches, you know sometimes I really do wonder if these people think that we were all born yesterday. I think they just say whatever suits them in order not to have to accept and responsibility and have to deal with the side effects!

You take good care of each other and fingers crossed for your appointment this week, but remember that how your husband feels is really the only thing that matters. All the best and thanks again for your kind thoughts XXX

Ellie
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 11:03 pm

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby Ellie » Sat May 09, 2009 10:59 pm

Dear Chinup

It was good to hear from you and I'm glad you are ok. I'm sure there must be some relief that your Mum is out of her pain now and none of us would wish for our loved ones to still be here if they are suffering. We all deal with grief in different ways - there can't be a right or wrong way to feel, or act, or deal with it. It must be so hard to lose her and it is still very early days for you, so I suppose your emotions change all the time. Hope your memories of better times with your mum will go some way to easing the pain of your loss.

Thank you for taking the time to write and to offer your best wishes to my husband. You've always been positive and offered good advice.

Take care.

Love
Ellie
x

dorabcoelho
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby dorabcoelho » Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:27 am

So sorry to hear your sory! In a way glad that your mum passed away peacefully ad next to theperson she loved. Look after your dad now as he must be devasteded.
i am very close to the same as mum now is in hospital her belly has grown so much adlegs ad feet are swallewd.
Her time is near but we ae given her all the support w can ad trying to help my dad who has been so depressed that is unable to help in any way.
Thank youfor being so special in this site ad be always there for us. I am ure your mum isso proud of u.
xxxxxxxx

dorabcoelho
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 12:36 am

Re: Rest peacefully, beautiful Mum

Postby dorabcoelho » Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:18 am

Hi,
sorry to hear about your mum, I know its been quite a while now but I am sure the sadness and love are still in you!
God bless you and family
x