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Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 1:03 pm
by Fifi
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Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:03 pm
by Cathy
Hi there

I don't think anyone can answer this for you as it varies so much from individual to individual.

What I would say though is that the fact that your Dad is eating well and feeling fine is a good sign.

My Jonathan died 13 months after diagnosis and treatment but there are others who live longer. It often depends on how you respond to treatment and then, if you do, how long the cancer is held at bay.

Sorry, this isn't the most helpful response. There are statistics on this site but no-one is the same and I think it best to ignore those and focus on the here and now. Make the most of each day, do nice things with your Dad, say to him what you want to say, don't feel that you can't plan ahead to some extent, as long as he is feeling well there is no reason why he can't continue to lead a full life (we managed 2 trips abroad last year).

Cathy xx

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:27 pm
by Didge
There are statistics and there are individuals. You might like to google Wilko Johnson who is still going and has defied his life expectancy. You can listen to the radio interview which is quite uplifting. A friend of mine's mother had PC and was given 6 months to live, whereupon the tumour stabilised and she lived another 20 years! I realise that is unusual but just goes to show that no-one knows for sure and occasionally don't even get it close! It does take a while to adjust to a prognosis like this but try to live life according to how he feels now and not how he might feel sometime in the future. And one thing Wilko said in the interview, having lost his wife to cancer 10 years ago, was how much harder it was to be the carer rather than the sufferer. I'm not sure I believed this as I've never been the sufferer but the message is - it's REALLY tough on those close to the sufferer so be gentle on yourself, get all the support you can, and as I've seen over the last few months, you can always come here for understanding and a listening ear.
Didge x

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 2:30 pm
by Fifi
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Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 3:05 pm
by Fifi
Thank you Didge,

I will Google him.

I think I just feel so scared, I just don't want this to happen to my dad. He looks so vulnerable, and he keeps saying he's not ready to die.

Leila x

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 3:50 pm
by Didge
Hi Leila
It is a good sign if your dad says he is not ready to die. And he is feeling relatively well. I hope you both get to enjoy each day as it comes and not to look too far into the future. I lost my husband 25 years ago and one of the things I've said to people in our position ever since (my bf has PC) is 'this is not the time to mourn' as we all tend to look at the expected dark days ahead and inhabit them now in our minds instead of enjoying each good day that we are actually living. But I'm afraid I find it hard to take my own advice! It is a constant struggle not to be afraid and not to imagine what the future will bring. But keep trying! I have also thought since posting that of course Wilko Johnson decided not to have chemo which is not a common choice and there are many people on here who have had good results and extended lives through chemo. Each is an individual choice.
Didge x

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:01 pm
by Fifi
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Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:04 pm
by Dfarmer
Hi Leila
When my mum was diagnosed this is exactly what I wanted to know although she never asked. My mum lived for 8 months from diagnosis with gemcitibine weekly (which she tolerated well). Mum was well all the way through and actually put on weight because we were making sure she was eating high calorie foods. Mum's tumour was in the tail so not sure whether that's why she had so few symptoms. Mum started to show signs of decline about 3 weeks before she died and it was in the last few days that she declined rapidly.
It is a very hard journey that you are on but be safe in the knowledge that we are all on it with you.
Dawn
X

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 6:30 pm
by janem
My Dad was told when it had progressed to his liver that 6 months of chemo would give him an extra 4-6 months with out it he had 3 months but he had already gone from 12 and a half stone to 9 stone 10 by then and is classed as anorexic, he also has no appetite so is probably not a good example. He has also made it clear that he doesn't want to fight and can't wait for it to be over due to other things that have happened recently.
I wish you luck and hope your dad remains positive and fights hard.

Nikki

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 10:47 pm
by jules 2015
Hi Leila
I agree with what the others have said. Its difficult not to google what will happen as I think we have to do this to prepare ourselves for what is ahead, but try not to let this get in the way of spending time with your dad. I ended up being signed off work when my dad was diagnosed as I found it so difficult to come to terms with, he had fought leaukemia 12 years earlier and was in remission so i was devastated when he was diagnosed with stage 4 pc. However this did mean that I could see my dad and spend time with him everyday until he died, which I will be forever grateful for. I would recommend that you go out with your dad to do and see things whilst you can. It took a long time to get my dads diarrhea and pain under control which meant we were limited to when we could go out but whenever he felt well enough to go out we took him out . He had a bad reaction to the chemo and was given days/ weeks to live at this point but we still managed to go out with his wheelchair, we took him wherever he wanted to go and had some good times. Everyones journey is different, unfortunately for us ours was relatively short as he only lived 13 weeks from diagnosis. So my advise to you is to try to spend as much time with your dad as you can. Its good that your dad is feeling well and has a good appetite. Its so hard to hear your dad saying he doesn't want to die, but tt sounds like he wants to fight the disease which is good.
try to take care of yourself, we're all here to offer advise nd support whenever you need it.
Julie x

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sat Feb 22, 2014 11:42 pm
by belgrade
Hello Leila,
My husband became jaundiced in April 2013 and admitted to hospital, though PC was only confirmed in July with liver mets. Sadly, he died 7 weeks later. From the initial symptoms he was never well, lost over 8 stone in weight and couldn't eat. He didn't have chemotherapy as his condition deteriorated so quickly. Throughout this time "Mr Google" was my constant companion - not always a good thing! Your Dad seems to be quite well at the moment and my advice would be to make the most of your time together and don't be pre-occupied with life expectancy. As others have said PC affects individuals so differently but it also seems to have a habit of hitting unexpectedly.
My thoughts are with you and your Dad,
Hilary

Re: Life Expectancy?

Posted: Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:23 am
by Fifi
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