My Dads Prognosis

In December we were told if my dad could build up his strength they would put him on GemCap but would need to do another ct scan as the one they were looking at was 6 weeks old. He had a scan on new years eve and today we saw the oncologist, the tumour has grown and there are lesions on his liver and they are now only offering Gemcitabine on its own and he is borderline on if he is strong enough. He has signed the consent form but has almost certainly decided not to have chemo. He was told the chemo would give him an extra 4-6 months without about 3 months.

He has been telling me the last few days that he has no quality of life and he just wants it over with, he says if mum was here it would be different and he would definitely have the chemo but now he has nothing to live for. I feel like having a tantrum and saying what about your daughters and grandchildren but I have promised him that I will support him whatever he decides.

The local hospice are looking after his pain relief and are sorting out a dnr letter for him. I'm not sure how I am going to cope in the next few months but I've got to be strong for him. At the end of October dad had a bit of indigestion, abdominal pain and jaundice, me and mum took him to hospital (possible gallstones) and 3 months later I am looking at losing both my parents.

So sorry to hear your dad is feeling so low. He's had so much to deal with, it's just so sad.

I can understand your feelings too but all you can do is keep telling your dad how much his family love him, support him in his decisions and be there for him and I know you will do this.

Julia x

Thanks for your support, we are all rallying around him. He is always saying thanks for everything we do but what else would we choose to do. It is so hard for us spectators of the disease to deal with I cannot even start to comprehend what the emotions are for the people on here that are actually going through this and having to the decisions about their lives. My heart goes out to them.

That is so true Jane. My husband died in October and I was talking with my son about only last night and we discussed the very things you said in your last post. It's such a cruel disease.

Take care

Julia x

Hi

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time but it sounds as if you are doing exactly the right thing in rallying around your Dad and giving him all the support you can.

Make sure you are getting support for yourself too. You are carrying a huge burden.

Cathy xx