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belgrade
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:53 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby belgrade » Fri Oct 04, 2013 12:26 am

My heart goes out to you and your family Nia. I know exactly how you feel and it is a very difficult path to tread, but you will find the strength to carry on, however long the journey lasts. I'm sure your Mum knows she is surrounded by love and knowing that you are doing everything you can will be a comfort to you.
Take care,
Hilary

KATB
Posts: 178
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:41 am

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby KATB » Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:01 am

Hi Nia,

I'm right here with you. You're right, it's total hell - I am going through much the same at the moment with my precious dad.

The questions you ask I also ask myself - why has my lovely dad got this awful disease? Why is he allowed to suffer in this way? None of it is fair and there are no answers.

All we can do is be there and look after them the best we can. Hang in there and know you are doing all you can - the most important thing of course, loving our beautiful parents.

Much love,

K
x

welshgirl
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:48 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby welshgirl » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:37 pm

Hello everyone,

I was trying to think when did I come on here last and it was the 4th October, well between the 4th and now, the 20th, my mother deteriorated as each day passed and sadly she passed away on Thursday, 17th October at 12:50!

I am totally totally devastated! When she was alive I was trying to imagine how it would be without her around but I just couldn't imagine it but now the reality has hit, she's not here any more. Her funeral is on Tuesday and its a day I was hoping that would never come!

The last six weeks has been very hard for me, I didn't mind caring for her at all, it was a pleasure and she deserved the best care but it was just seeing the deterioration in her on a daily basis that got to me, whatever I did was never going to change the outcome but at least I feel that I did the best I could for her.

She lived one year and one week exactly from diagnosis. Apart from the time where she needed a stent at the beginning and the last six week, she had a fairly good ten months with not too many complications, went out and about and lived a fairly normalish existence.

The turning point was when they told her that the chemo was no longer working, she just gave up, always put a brave face on but I knew her well, she was just doing that for us, her family but I knew that the fight was over. On Saturday morning she sat at the edge of the bed and hugged me tightly and told me that she was dying, OMG I felt numb, devastated and just speechless, what could I say back to that, I said nothing just hugged her so so tight.

I've had so many visitors, I have nowhere left to put any more cards but people are very kind but I would rather be left alone.

I went over to the chapel of rest yesterday and will tomorrow again, she just looks so beautiful and at peace, I just cant believe that my darling, kind mother is not here any more. My life will never be the same, never. She was my rock, the person that was always there, no matter what.

I wish you all the best for the future road ahead, its hard but you will find the strength from somewhere to carry on.

My thoughts are with you all.

Nia x

KATB
Posts: 178
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:41 am

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby KATB » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:45 pm

Hi Nia,

I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like we have been through a similar journey the last 6 weeks and my darling daddy passed away on the 12th. My heart is broken and I know yours is too. We can only know we loved them and did everything we could for them.

Look after yourself,

Much love,

Kate x

welshgirl
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:48 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby welshgirl » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:54 pm

Kate

I am so sorry to hear your sad news.

Life seems so unfair but one thing helps me is that I cared for her up until the end, I was with her all the way from start to finish and I know that my mother will live on in me as your father will in you.

You take care of yourself also.

Love

Niax

belgrade
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:53 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby belgrade » Sun Oct 20, 2013 10:55 pm

Nia,
I am so sorry to hear about your Mum and am sure you must be devastated. It is such a cruel disease and the battle is so hard for both the sufferer and carer. I understand what you mean about your Mum giving up.My husband was so full of hope at the start of his illness, but as the disease progressed he just couldn't fight it and said just a week before he died that he wanted the "nightmare" to be over. To know that your loved ones know they are dying is so hard to bear and my heart goes out to you. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday.
Take care of yourself,
Hilary x x

J_T
Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby J_T » Sun Oct 20, 2013 11:34 pm

Dear Nia, so very sorry to hear your news about your adored mum. October has been pretty grim here I can't quite believe we have lost so many courageous people.

Ray's funeral is tomorrow and I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

Look after yourself.
Julia xxx

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1085
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:07 am

Dear Nia,

I am very sorry to hear about the death of your mum. I can tell that you were very close, and it is such a wonderful thing that you were able to look after your mum yourself. I am sure that this made all the difference to her. There has been quite a bit of sadness on here recently, and I know that the impact is great, and goes on and on even after the loved one has gone.

On behalf of Dianne and myself, I would like to offer our heartfelt sympathies. Also, on behalf of the wider charity.

I hope the funeral goes OK tomorrow, and that you are able to celebrate her life, and all she meant to you.

Kind regards,

Jeni, Support Team.

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby cestrian » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:41 am

Dear Nia

Just to offer my heartfelt sympathy and condolences on the sad death of your beloved Mum. You will really feel the loss and I totally understand how you just want to be alone but please do your best to welcome friends and family into your home and heart at this difficult time even though you may feel like just slamming the door on the whole world .

As time passes by and the immediate pain dulls a little. you will begin to value their company and kindness more than you know.

Peace and Love

Mike

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby Slewis7313 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:27 pm

Nia, I am so terribly sorry to hear of our loss. You were obviously very devoted to your Mam and have done all that you could to make her illness as bearable as possible from the outset. I can't really imagine how you feel at this time, but know that we all share your pain in some way. My thoughts are very much with you and the others who have had to deal with similar losses in recent times.

Take care Nia

Steve
x

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby Cathy » Mon Oct 21, 2013 1:17 pm

Hi Nia

I too am most terribly sorry and sad to hear about your Mum.

You did an absolutely fantastic job for her and the care and love you provided were second to none. It would have been a huge help and comfort to her I'm sure - you should feel very proud of yourself.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I hope in time you will get some comfort yourself with the knowledge that you did all you could, and then some.

Take care

Cathy xx

welshgirl
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:48 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby welshgirl » Thu Oct 24, 2013 9:37 pm

Dear Everyone,

Many thanks for all your messages, it means a lot to me.

Its been a week since my dear mother passed away and we had her funeral on Tuesday. I knew the day would come but OMG it is just so difficult to come to terms that she has gone and that I wont see her again.

We had a family gathering for her on the 4th September where all her cousins came together for the day, we all knew that this was the last day they would all be together. I was looking back at a video I did on the day, she looked so well and in such good spirits and six weeks after that day she passed away. I just cant get over how anyone deteriorated so quickly, its just as if the cancer was eating away at her and just wouldn't stop at anything!!! Very very cruel and my heart goes out to anyone who is suffering from this disease or anyone that is looking after a love one with this disease, its just a total nightmare.

An ex-colleague of mine from years ago lost her daughter last week to PC, aged 45!!!! Yes 45, its just seems so unfair but then life is unfair at times!

I wish everyone the very best with their journeys, ours lasted a year and one week and I am happy to say that I went through it with my mother every step of the way.

Life seems so empty now, I lost a part of me when mum died. Life will never be the same and I will miss her for as long as I live.

Please take care everyone, I will come back from time to time to see how things are on here, I found this forum a great help to express my feelings during the year.

My thoughts are with you all,

Nia x

welshgirl
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:48 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby welshgirl » Wed Dec 25, 2013 5:30 pm

Hello everyone

I've not been on here for a long time, actually not since just after my mother passed away in October. Its Christmas Day and I am really missing my mother!!!! I cant express how much I'm actually missing her, longing to have her back in my life.

I had a phone call this morning from my uncle to say that a lady that lived by him and who also was suffering from PC died this morning, it really upset me. Why is this disease so so cruel, why doesnt this cancer give patients some chance and why is there not as much research into this cancer as other cancers???

After reading the posts on here I've also seen that LindaH has passed away, she was one of the very first people that replied to my first post, she sounded a lovely and genuine lady who went through so much, I feel for her family.

I really dont know why I came on here today but I guess I thought I'd find some comfort in writing my thoughts down. I'll be glad when today has gone, its a sad sad day for me, an empty place at the table where my mother sat every Christmas!!! I miss her so much!!!

I hope you've all had a restful and happy Christmas, my thoughts go out to you all.

Nia
xxx

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby cestrian » Wed Dec 25, 2013 7:44 pm

Dear Nia

I've mentioned on another thread just how hard it is to cope with the first Christmas, birthday, anniversary or any other special day following the loss of a loved one. Thanks for posting today our love and prayers are sent to support you.

Love and Peace

Mike x
Last edited by cestrian on Thu Dec 26, 2013 12:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: A Mother in a Million

Postby Cathy » Wed Dec 25, 2013 10:05 pm

Hi Nia

It's a difficult time of year and most especially if you have lost someone, and you were so close to your Mum. I'm writing this sitting next to Jonathan and his son watching a DVD. We have no idea what this year will bring. My heart goes to you.

Lovely to hear from you Nia. Please keep posting whenever you need to.

Cathy xxx