A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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Wife&Mum
Posts: 397
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Wife&Mum » Mon Oct 03, 2016 8:57 am

Thinking of you this morning V, and sending you strength and love.
W&M xx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Ascites

Postby Dandygal76 » Mon Oct 03, 2016 10:56 am

Thinking of you Veema. Much love to you all. X

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby jay » Mon Oct 03, 2016 11:29 am

Thinking of you all this morning
love Jayne
xx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:59 pm

I am dead inside...everyone around me was crying and I hardly shed a tear...what the heck is wrong with me???

It was a lovely day and I think he would have been pleased. The sun shone brightly and we laughed lots. We don't live too far from the church and the Funeral Director walked in front of the hearse all the way to the church...the vicar (who I'm not keen on) was great, there were loads of people there and I just filled up a little in the crem when Queen's 'Your my best friend' came on. He really was my best friend and I loved him soooooo much. I now have flowers all over the house as I've brought home the coffin topper (it was just far too nice to give away) and everyone commented on how lovely Phoebe's powerpoint photo montage was.

So...that's that done. Now to get on with getting on.

Vx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Justamo » Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:37 pm

Been watching in case you posted, but didn't think you would - thought you'd be too tired. Sounds like you did really well V, and Phoebe is a star.

There's nothing wrong with you my love, there are no rules for grief. Laughing is not a million miles away from crying and I'm glad you got through the day more or less OK.

And don't bother about getting on until you're good and ready.

Peter and I were at hospital in the eye clinic when your service started and I took ten minutes out to send you a few prayers. And I'm sure a lot of other people did the same.

Much love
Mo

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Mon Oct 03, 2016 10:33 pm

Nothing wrong with you V, cry not cry makes no difference, some days you want a good sob, others you don't. I' so glad it went off okay, and that so many people are recalling happy times. No one deserves to be remembered like they were at the end.

Real life may take a while but you have got through this big week which is no small achievement. There will be more hurdles so manage your expectations and remember, the people on here never judge you or think you have to behave this way or that.

I hope some of our good wishes and prayers land and wrap you in comfort and peace and our presence in on the sidelines encourages you.

Rest easy V,

M xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby jay » Tue Oct 04, 2016 9:03 am

Glad the day went well Veema,

I hardly shed a tear at Jem's funeral as I didn't want to upset Jessica. To be honest it just feels like you are in a dream.
Take care and go at your own pace. Phoebe's power point sounds beautiful.
love and hugs Jayne
xx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Ascites

Postby Dandygal76 » Tue Oct 04, 2016 10:25 pm

Hey Veema. I am glad the day went smoothly and I can only imagine what a strange day it would have been and peoples emotions do not seem to tally with expectations of 'how they should be' from all the funeral descriptions we have seen on here. I do hope things are still reasonably calm for you all. It is surreal how the laughter can break through in these situations, I know it sounds awful but one of the funniest times i have had (buckled over laughing) was arranging the funeral of my best friends brother several years ago with her mum and sisters. It was surreal. I think it is also a coping mechanism.

Much love, DG. xx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby sandraW » Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:42 pm

Hi Veema,
Glad everything went well,it is such a surreal occasion,the saying goodbye, but still not really grasping the fact that they have gone, expecting that in a little while things will revert back to how they were.Julia (a lady who still posts on here from time to time) always used to say "keep on keeping on" and that's all we can do. It doesn't get easier as much as you learn to live with the fact that they are not there anymore, even today I saw something and thought, Oh I must tell Trevor then realised that I couldn't after all, take care of yourself and Phoebe, I hope she is doing okay, love sandrax xx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Justamo » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:53 pm

Hope your day was more or less OK V, and that Phoebe is coping with it too.
Thinking of you both, and the boys too.
Love, Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:43 pm

Grrrrr! One financial institution wants probate...I've got to go through the whole damn rigmarole just to take Nige's name off an insurance policy...ridiculous!!!

That is all.

Grrrr.

Vx

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Justamo » Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:54 pm

Only Grrrrr ? If you message me privately I can supply a list of MUCH better words, courtesy of My Patient, in various combinations, and guaranteed to partially relieve stress.

Love
Mo

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Thu Oct 06, 2016 6:36 pm

Oh Mo...I've got some much better words than that...trouble is, the mods would have to censor them...

Vx

Marmalade

Re: Ascites

Postby Marmalade » Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:57 pm

I sympathise Veema,

I have the same issue. Everyone else is happy and have made over bigger sums but one company are insisting. There is absolutely no justification for it, they don't gain anything only solicitors (if you use one) and the government (£217 minimum) collect.

I just received 16 pages of forms to transfer some shares into my name and they have already had the will, the death certificate and certified copies of my passport, birth and marriage certificates. They are charging £85 because there is no grant of probate, for doing what? Okay, rant over.

Apart from that, I hope you are both getting through the days without too much advice and interference. Thinking of you, M xxx

Veema
Posts: 503
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Ascites

Postby Veema » Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:13 pm

That's just what I don't understand...the will states everything comes to me...I have the marriage certificate and all my ID...what's the issue, it seems bizarre...and its for my life insurance that was written up as my life assured but in Nige's name, so on my death it would pay him out immediately...I just now want my life assured in my own damn name!!!

I've filled in the probate form easily enough, but the inheritance tax form that has to accompany it, is more taxing (pun intended)...I don't have the values of some of the assets yet, so can't complete it. Suppose there's no rush, but I just want everything sorted.