A forum for advanced pancreatic cancer issues

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby sandraW » Tue Jan 14, 2014 11:35 pm

What a beautiful brave post, thank you, so sorry to hear of Jonathon's death, how brave all you ladies are, sincere condolences sandra x

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby MrsR » Wed Jan 15, 2014 9:04 am


So sorry to hear your news. I had been following your posts ss my brother in law seemed to be following the same path as Jonathan. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling as I still have my husband but I know how difficult it has been seeing Bob fight his battle and never concede that he may not recover.

Take care, my thoughts are with you and your family

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby Didge » Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:08 am

Dear Cathy
I am so sorry. I have been reading your posts since starting on this forum a few weeks ago. I am going down this route again with my new partner (in his 40s) as my husband died of cancer 25 years ago (in his 30s). I thought I'd be strong second time around but I'm falling apart with all the old memories resurfacing. I'm glad you got so much time together. My partner's was operable but with lymph nodes involved and after starting on gemcitabine before Christmas had to stop after only 2 doses because of an infection and in that short 3 weeks before restarting has developed worrying symptoms of pain and weight loss so I am now thinking that we might not have that long. One thing which I found enormously comforting last time was joining a Cruse group for widows with young children. I wondered if it would not be possible for those of you who have recently lost someone to this awful cancer to get together. We used to arrange meals out etc and it was enormously uplifting, not gloomy. I know that you have to apply to the moderators to do that but I would recommend it if any of you are like-minded. Sending you lots of love in the meantime.
Didge x

PCUK Nurse Jeni
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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Wed Jan 15, 2014 1:26 pm


On behalf of the whole charity, we send you our love and condolences at this sad time.
As many have said, you have been such an amazing support to others on here and always ready to give everyone a laugh.

We are so sorry to hear of your beloved Jonathan's passing so early in the new year. Your bravery is outstanding.

Thinking of you,

Jeni and Everyone at PCUK.

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby Birchen » Wed Jan 15, 2014 7:18 pm

Hello Cathy
So very very sorry to hear that Jonathan has passed away but so glad he made one last Christmas. Christmas will always now be extra special for us as we lost Terry on Christmas day. I know there will be so many people giving you help and support but the pain does not go away. Terry had his funeral last Thursday and we celebrated in style. The music going in was Move on Up (Curtis Mayfield) and other tamla songs during the service and on leaving we had the Four Tops Loco in Acapuloc. We never made it to Acapuloc but he loved to dance to this song. It is definitely not a sad day and we had a big party afterwards which didn't finish until 11 pm. Lots of champagne drank and not many tears, we even had a DJ so all had a dance to his favourite tunes. I hope some of this will bring a smile to your face as I think Jonathan sounded quite similar in his sense of humour. Thinking of you so much as a found you very supportive when I first joined the forum. lots of love Lyn xx

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby atomlinson29 » Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:02 pm

Dear Cathy,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. On January 16 2014 it will be exactly two months since I lost my 39 year old husband to this terrible cancer. I cried when you started talking about him being confused. My Clint did the same thing. It all happened so fast. He was only told in June he had pancreatic cancer and it was a stage 2. He had chemo and was sick and lost all sorts of weight. Then after chemo it was time to do a scan. It had spread to his liver. Doctor told him he had less than a year. He didnt even make it 6 months after being told that. Clint had a case of pancreatitis as well so it didn't help him any. We took our children to the beach with us for a whole week. He was sick the whole trip. Never complained. Not once. I am 30 years old and I am a widow.... I love my Clint and will always love him. I too got to be there when he took his last breath. I wouldn't take all the money in the world if it was offered to me. I wasn't going to leave his side. All I said over and over was I love you and I am so proud of you. The best man ,friend, son, husband,or friend anyone could ever have left and went to be with Jesus in Heaven. The most remarkable thing was his faith. He said I ..LOVE..YOU.. With every breath he took for a whole hour and a half and then it went into I... love...God... He was seeing Gods face. I could see it in his eyes. I'm hurt. I miss him. I miss him more than I could ever describe. I dont understand any of it. I just have to have faith. I have to put all my trust in the Lord. I have two children to raise. Clint will always be in my heart. Just like your husband will always remain in your heart. I am sure right now it hasn't really hit you. You think it has but it hasn't yet. My hardest time is going to bed at night. We would always cuddle for about 10 mins and then always say ok thats it and turn to get comfortable how we really wanted to lay. He was so good to me. I talk to him every day and I count the days until I see him again. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to write. I promise to listen. Clints birthday is next Friday. He would have been 40. Its hard to go through all of the firsts. Hang in there and I pray you know this life is temporary and one day we will be with our husbands again. You are in my thoughts and prayers

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby InfoForMum » Thu Jan 16, 2014 2:35 am

Ahh lovely lady, that's so sad. Amazing post that just has love and determination and all the things I hope my Mum has when her time comes just shining out of it. I hope you and the kids get all the support you need to get the practical things dealt with so you can carry on being such an amazing support for each other.

He must must have been so proud of you all. Not just taking this journey with him, but hopefully you and he knew how much difference you have made, are making for others. You've certainly helped me stackloads when I thought smiling was a vastly tall order (cathrine wheels and quality street!).

If the world goes quiet on you when all the things that have to happen straight away are done (perhaps unlikely with a potential benefit to put energy into) and you're overwhelmed with time to think do come find us.

Lots of love and hugs


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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby RLF » Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:26 am

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss x Breaks my heart to read it and glad he didn't suffer too much toward the end.
Rob x

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby Cathy » Thu Jan 16, 2014 7:44 pm

Thank you everyone for your incredibly kind replies. They really mean a lot and I intend to sit down with Sally and Jake to let them read them too.

Today we managed to set the funeral date, 29 January (they're very busy). It feels a long time off.

Coincidentally Roger Lloyd-Pack was someone Jonathan knew - they had a few mutual friends. We are now fearing there might be a battle of the funerals with various actory friends charging across London to get to both venues.. It made me a smile a little imagining the theatricals and the drama.

I haven't posted generally for a little while so to everyone new, and those not so new, keep on keeping on and don't give up hope. Take care with them wheelchairs tho.

Cathy xxx
Last edited by Cathy on Thu Jan 16, 2014 9:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby Ant11 » Thu Jan 16, 2014 8:41 pm

Cathy, I am a newbie for posting on the site, as a very dear member of my family recently diagnosed with the worst possible prognosis. I have been following your blog and what an inspirational person you are. I just hope we can do the same when the time comes for us to say goodbye to our special lady. She is fighting but not really accepted the news which makes it hard, however we have to respect how she gets through each day. I cannot imagine how those suffering deal with this sword hanging over their head just waiting for it to fall. This is the most horrendous disease and most people on this site are all let down by doctors and the hospitals. God bless you and your family x

marie souter
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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby marie souter » Fri Jan 17, 2014 6:30 am

Hugz Cathy xx Thinking of you loads

jules 2015
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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby jules 2015 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 10:36 pm

To Cathy
So sorry to hear that your beloved Jonathan has lost his battle with this horrific disease. I hope you can take some comfort that you were there with him fighting every step of the way and that you had some special time to say goodbye at the end. Sending you hugs and strength to help you get through the next couple of weeks
Julie xxx

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby laura » Sat Jan 18, 2014 12:44 am

dear cathy, I am so sorry to read about your beloved hubby, so many lately.
no words can convey what i am feeling, my thoughts and love are winging their way to you, carrying loads of strength. laura xxx

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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby Slewis7313 » Tue Jan 28, 2014 8:50 am

Dear Cathy, I just wanted to wish you all the best for Jonathan's send-off tomorrow. He was clearly a very special person and you were obviously very close. I am sure the day will be a fitting tribute and we shall certainly be thinking of you.



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Re: My hero, lover and best friend gone..

Postby cestrian » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:12 am

Dear Cathy

Very best wishes for tomorrow and I sincerely hope Jonathan's funeral is an outpouring of love and celebration for his life. For some reason, with his theatrical background I am picturing a "Love Actually" merging of the Bay City Rollers lead ceremony and the Keira Knightley wedding with choir and orchestra popping up around the church! I don't in any way intend any disrespect as if I had the resources and connections this is just what I'd be planning for myself as I believe that we should celebrate a life rather than mourn a death. If only we knew more about the human condition things may be much easier to understand.

Love and Peace

Mike xx