This is it

Mum has been in hospice for a week now. She went in to have ascites drained, which was 8 litres. They've then been trying to get her pain under control.

I got back from holiday last night so haven't been to see her yet. We did FaceTime a few times while I was away and I saw a definite deterioration. My dad said that she has gone downhill very quickly. I am just passing the time before I go to see her. Although we've known this was coming it's still so hard. I feel guilty that I went away and she has deteriorated so much. She was ok when I left and now she's not really with it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to explain what is happening to my 5and 2 year olds?

Hi,

So sorry to hear your mum has deteriorated I am sure you are disparate to see her.

Don't feel guilty I am sure your mum wants you and your family to enjoy your holiday as much as possible.

All I can advise with talking to your children is be honest, and answer the questions in simple terms as they ask.

Thinking of you,

Bee xxx

So sorry to hear this

Macmillan have a booklet that has some really helpful advice around talking to children. I know friends have also had Macmillan nurses actually come to talk to the children at home and they have said how valuable that was, so maybe you could look into that?

Thinking of you

K

x

Hi

So so sorry to hear this though I'm sure Bee is right and your Mum would have wanted you and your family to have your holiday.

Thinking of you

xx

Hi,

Sorry to hear your sad news, I hope that your mother is comfortable and peaceful at this time. As you say this is such a difficult time for yourself juggling everyday life and emotions. From a perspective of managing the children there is a very good support group for children called Winston's Wish. Their web site can be found at: www.winstonswish.co.uk. They provide a very good bereavement service for children and I am sure you will find their website very helpful.

Also, children are quite resilient to this sort of emotion, and often it is a matter of being open and honest and talking to them in a manner that they will understand. Best way is to keep them involved and if they have been close to their grandmother it may be helpful for them to visit her (you will know if this is something you/they would wish to do) so that they are able to understand in their own way what is happening.

Hope that helps, feel free to give us a call on the support line (020 3535 7099) if we can help further. Thinking of you at this time.

Dianne

Support Team

Mum just about hanging on. Have come home for an hour to see my 2 children. She is comfortable today after being a little agitated yesterday. We are definitely in the final stages. She has not been conscious today and has not had anything to eat or drink.

The hospice are amazing. I stayed with mum last night and they couldn't do enough for me. I had a chat with the social worker yesterday about talking to my children and he gave me lots of books.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and everyone fighting this bike disease and their loved ones will always be I. My thoughts and prayers.

X

I'm not sure anything I can say will help. However, I remember trying to hold it all together when I was my losing my Dad and my wee nephew coming through and cuddling me with such love. I will never forget that. We worry about exposing kids but they are so intuitive and so loving. I think honesty and love is the best thing we can offer them. Also, offering them an opportunity to see the ones that they love

X

Dfarmer. You are clearly having the worst few days of your life. Just shocking. My heart goes out to you. Pain free is all you want for your loved one. So so hard if they are in obvious distress and you can do nothing. Thinking of you and hope things are not too agonising

June

My beautiful mum passed away early this morning after almost 8 months fighting this disease. She fought right up to the end. Me and my dad were with her at the end. There are no words to describe how I am feelIng at the moment.

When I'm ready I will record a timeline of mum's journey as although everyone is different that is what I wanted to know right from the start.

Much love to you all and your loved ones.

Dawn

Dear Dawn,

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. We will always be here for you.

Much love,

SueF

Dawn, you are in my thoughts. Such sad news.

Julia x

Dawn I am so, so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you.

K

x

Dawn,

So sorry to hear this news.

Please accept our deepest condolences.

Kind regards,

Jeni and The Support Team.

Dawn I have been away for a few days and so have only just read your very sad news.

I am so so sorry and thinking of you

Cathy xxx