A forum for people to support each other after the loss of a loved one

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R19902009
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:46 am

Dad passing away

Postby R19902009 » Wed May 08, 2019 12:08 am

My dad sadly passed away on 16 March 2019, 9.20 am after battling so hard since June 2015 in St. Christopher’s hospice.

They were absolutely brilliant and cared so well. He was there for 5 days and did 2 nights in hospital before going to hospice. I cared for him right up until then. It’s been almost 8 weeks and still waiting for him to call me or send a text. My almost 3 year old wants to go and visit granddad at the special hotel as she called the hospice, bless her. My 9 year old is still crying most nights - he’s more upset as he was off to see marvel with him but sadly didn’t get the chance.

I don't know why I’m writing this, but I felt people would understand. I just feel so lost without him. I miss his sarcasm a lot more then ever. I just wish I could have one more day with him. He’s currently in our home as I just can’t bare the thought of him in the garden like he wants. I just want him close to us xxx

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1076
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Dad passing away

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Wed May 08, 2019 9:37 am

Hi R1,

Thank you for your lovely, heartfelt post on the forums.

I am so sorry to hear that you recently lost your dad to pancreatic cancer - I am sure that he was very proud of his family, and yourself for caring for him also.

Its incredible that he was diagnosed in June 2015 - and that he has been fighting since then - he sounds so determined. Nonetheless, its still such a shock and heartbreaking when you lose a loved one. I am sorry to hear about your son in particular, being so upset. It sounds like he had a really good relationship with granddad. I was just wondering if you have heard of a brilliant charity for children who have been bereaved, called Winston's Wish?

https://www.winstonswish.org/

If you have not been in touch with them, I would recommend them - many folk who use this service speak very highly about it.

On behalf of all the nurses on here, I would like to extend our condolences to you and your family at this sad time.

Kind regards,
Jeni.
Jeni Jones
Pancreatic Cancer Specialist Nurse
Support Team
Pancreatic Cancer UK
email: nurse@pancreaticcancer.org.uk
support line: 0808 801 0707

R19902009
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:46 am

Re: Dad passing away

Postby R19902009 » Thu May 09, 2019 11:38 pm

They were. He’s having therapy through school but they don’t talk about much, it’s just play and making. He feels it’s pointless. St.Christopher’s said they would put us in touch with someone. I know they said they see how things are after 3 months anyway so that’s not long. I know there’s lots of people in my position but I feel alone I don’t think talking to a group of strangers will help but I’m not opposed to the idea. I just miss him and I feel I’m getting on my family’s nerves now but thank you I’ll have a look into it.

franklyd21
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 6:18 pm

Re: Dad passing away

Postby franklyd21 » Wed May 22, 2019 4:21 pm

I'm sorry R1. I'm in a similar situation myself with a parent who is battling cancer. I hope you and your family find peace.

R19902009
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:46 am

Re: Dad passing away

Postby R19902009 » Thu May 30, 2019 12:29 am

Thankyou it’s still so hard I’m still waiting to hear his voice or him come through the door as his non poorly self his family seem to be more active then when he was alive which I am finding hard but some bit of comfort kids seem to be dealing well now but still 9year old gets tears nothing like he did but I just miss having his opinions on day to day things really I hope your situation is better then mine right now hear if you need a chat as I didn’t have that and wished I did x