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Lovely words, Leila. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Just one thing I disagree with your dad on - do talk to strangers, Leila. You are too wonderful a person not to share yourself with more people! all my love, Didge xx

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Slewis7313

Leila, Just wiped the tears away long enough to respond. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and am sure it will be an amazing celebration of your Dad's life. The words are perfect as is the choice of music.... Hotel California is one of my favourites (has to be played really loud though!). I am travelling to London tomorrow and will be away for a few days for my Nanoknife, but will try and get online to see how things went. You are a great Daughter and I am sure your Dad was fully aware of that until the end. You should be proud of the way you supported him.


Take care and good luck for tomorrow.


Steve

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Leila, will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope it goes as well as it can. It looks as if you've put together a lovely service for him and I'm sure he'd be proud of you.


I know just what you mean when you say that a day hasn't gone by in the last 18 months when you haven't thought about losing him as I feel just the same since my husband was diagnosed, and it's such an awful thing to live with - no -one should have to go through it.


Take care.


Sue

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Dads service went lovely. There were so many people there. I managed to get up amd read my letter, I had to have help up there, but once I were I were fine. The Minister said some beautiful words. Was very hard to see the curtains go, and to walk away.

Felt very lost afterwards. Such a weird feeling.


I miss my Dad, and it really really hurts.


Leila xx

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Hi leila, glad it went well and that you managed to read your beautiful letter. I managed a reading at my dad's funeral, which is one of the things that reminds me that he would have been proud of me. I gated leaving the room where his service was. I too miss my dad everyday, but it does get easier.big hugs.Rachel

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Dear Leila, such beautiful words, you've done more than anyone could for your dad, your love for each other is palpable throughout your posts. Brilliant choice of songs, just from reading your words I know that your dad was so very special and a lovely person. I'm glad today went as well for you as it could, you were so brave in your sorrow.


You kindly asked about James' diarrhoea and yes he has tried steaks following your dad's example. They have worked for a while at least and even though it's not his favourite, he's more a fish and pasta man, he does now have steaks from time to time. Your research into all this that discovered SIBO has been invaluable to James. He has had several courses of antibiotics and they have helped for a while and then it returns. He finally got to see a gastroenterologist and it seems he has very likely got SIBO and has now been prescribed 3 different antibiotics to be taken sequentially along with another drug for bile absorption. Apparently clinicians have recently been advised to give these drugs to PC patient suffering with diarrhoea as it can provide a solution. It may be that he needs to continue taking a low dosage antibiotic. He's half way through and we are hoping.


Leila, I know that there are no words that can lessen your deep sorrow and loss, so just to let you know I am thinking about you and thank you for helping us. Fiona X

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Well done getting through it and managing to complete the reading, that's a huge achievement!

Glad so many people came, you've been a wonderful daughter to him

Rob

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Sueoliver

Dear Leila,

I am so pleased you read your letter what a great achievement! Your Dad would have been so proud of you. I hope the next few days and weeks are not to stressful for you make sure you look after yourself. You have been an amazing and supportive daughter for your Dad and don't ever forget this!

Please keep in touch as I really appreciate your support on this forum.

Take care Leila,

Love Sue x

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Thank you Rachel. I think our Dad's would be proud of the readings we did. That's where we get the stength I'm sure. I hope it does get easier.


Bowie, pleased I could be of some help. I hope I still can be, if you or anyone else needs any advice. There was combination drugs Dad could have had, but one of them he couldn't because he was on a trial. Turned out the steak did more than anything. Just to have Dad tested positive was good enough. It proves you should push, when there is even the slightest possibility of a result. Doctors do not know everything.


Thank you Rob, very nice of you. Hope you nd Carl are having a great holiday.


Thank you Sue, I would like to stay on the forum and help people as much as I can. People need help in these very scary times.


Leila xx

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Thank you Sue and Jayne for your lovely thoughtful amd much appreciated cards. Thank you Sandra for your beautiful flower in a card. It is the most wonderful idea I have ever seen and I treasure it. Going to try and press it when it wilts and then I can always keep it.




I feel times are hard now the funeral is over. I think it has finally hit me that my wonderful Dad is no longer here. I often want to call him and ask him something. My phone is so quiet. Normally, he will call me when I'm in the bath, he always knew! Now nothing. I think the hardest thing is everyone else. Seeing everyone else getting on with their lives. I went to Morrisons Sunday and everyone was smiling, and getting on with their lives, I wanted to scream that I've lost my Dad. My life has stopped. I have idiots asking me when I am going back to work, I think what is wrong with people? Don't people grieve anymore? Can't people understand that it is my Dad I have lost? And I haven't just had a call saying he has died. I have lived every minute of this camcer with him. I have heard his fears, heard his tears. For the last week, I sat beside him 24/7 and watched him leave me, and yet they still want me to move on, so soon.


Leila xx

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Leila,


You will never move on, but hopefully time will heal. I understand how you feel when you say that other people are getting on with their lives, but life just has to continue, try to be strong you know that is what your dad would want you to do. I do feel so sorry for you and just wish I could do more to help you, please take care of yourself love sandrax xx

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Slewis7313

Leila, I lost my Mam in October and it is still difficult to believe she is not there and how many things we did which involved her. If we are passing in the car, I still find myself thinking I'll go and have a cup of tea with her. As you say, this must be a hundred times more difficult as you spent so much time caring for your Dad over the last year. I do hope the pain eases with time and that you can get some form of normality back into your life.


Take care!


Steve

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Leila, I have not posted much recently but am so glad the funeral went well and am glad that you are going to keep posting when you feel able - I would miss you! Sending you lots of love, Didge xx

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Dear Leila,

I rarely come onto the site now so I have just read your sad news. I was so sorry to hear about your Dad.

It does get easier Leila, though I still miss my dad loads.

You are in my thoughts

Jane x

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Thank you all yet again for your lovely messages.


Dad being gone has left a very big hole in my life. I miss him waking me up early in the morning, just to tell me he had had breakfast. I miss him ringing me throughout the day to tell me about his wins, or losses on the horse racing. Strangely enough, I miss calling the hospital and speaking to the many people I did. They were part of my daily life. I miss hugging my Dad, and him tapping me on my head to remind me how short I am. I miss his Yorkshire puddings. I miss just looking at him.


I still feeli like I need to do something. I need to still help him. I know that sounds odd, but I do. Something needs to be done. Far too many people are losing their lives. Nearly every single new post on here starts with, we were misdiagnosed, including my own. That needs to change.


Leila xxx

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Hi Leila,


I know just how you feel, I am feeling the same, I suppose all we can do is find a way to get more awareness, especially from GP's. but the message I hear all tha time that it is so difficult to diagnose, have you joined the PC Facebook page? there are ways there you can get involved.


take care love sandrax

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Dear Leila,


I am so sorry to read that your lovely Dad has passed away. I've just read back a few pages on your thread, as I haven't been on the forum for a while. I am just sitting here and crying. Your Dad was amazing and you've been a wonderful daughter, you've done everything what you could for your Dad. The letter you wrote to the funeral is beautiful.

I know what you mean when you say that something needs to be done. I feel the same still. Tomorrow will be 6 months that my lovely husband passed away and I still cannot believe it and still feel that I need to do something. I haven't been well in the last two months, it is just hitting me again and I cry every day many times.

You gave your Dad an amazing support throughout his battle with this terrible cancer, I am sure he was very proud of you!

I wish you all the strength and please look after yourself.

Lots of love,

Susanna xxx

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Leila

I'm so so sorry for your loss.

Your Dad will have been comforted so much knowing you were by his side all of the time and that you were there for him whenever he needed you. You could not have done more for your Dad.


Please look after yourself. I hope, in time, the good, happy memories will provide some comfort to you. Lots of love xxx

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Thank you Sandra, Susanna and LMD.


I am not on Facebook Sandra, but I have decided to write the Ombudsman about the GP that misdiagnosed Dad, and all the other GP's that misdiagnose everyone else on this site. I am also going to write to David Cameron. Probably won't do any good, but I have to do something.


Leila xxx

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Hi Leila


Your mentioning about missing ringing up the hospital made sense to me. After Jonathan died it wasn't just Jonathan not being here that was gone, but everything that came with him too. Like you with your Dad my life was taken over with caring for him and when someone dies, all of that goes.


If it helps, it does get easier and you will find things that will occupy your time. I've done stuff for PCUK which goes a little way as well for me to give something back for the support I got from them. I've met some amazing people through them. I talk a lot to a number of the people I met through the forum and that helps a lot too as they went through what I went through at the same time. I push myself to do new things outside of my comfort zone, travel, have bought a bike (help!).. it all helps.


Still early days for you but in time you will see that things are a little bit easier.


Take care


Cathy xxx

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Yes, I remember when my husband died years ago, we were doing Gerson (I did have help from friends on some days for that) so as well as 3 children under 6, and a terminally ill husband to look after we were also doing 13 fresh juices a day, enemas etc. When he died i wondered what I would do with my time as if having 3 children under six as a now single parent, wasn't enough! I think the intensity of the situation, the battles, the worry - it's like being in a war zone and when that is gone, life does seem empty for a while in a strange sort of way. I coped by planning days out, new things to do, even if I didn't feel like it - and gradually things improved. xxx

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