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LindaH
Posts: 186
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2013 8:12 pm

It had to be done so I did it

Postby LindaH » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:43 am

I suppose it helps knowing the receptionist at the funeral directors so I knew I could ask about arranging my funeral and not come away completely confused.

Actually he came to me and put me at ease straight away. In fact he laughed when I said "For goodness sake don't drop me as you're carrying me down the aisle".

No-way am I being put in a box...brrr....shiver at the thought; no, I'm having a lovely Willow pink and white Casket and it looks really nice; plus I want to be cremated. The music into the chapel is going to be "Someday we'll be together" Diana Ross the Supremes & the Temptations followed by the hymn "The Day Thou Gavest Lord As Ended" then my daughter will play her guitar and sing "There Goes My Hero" by the Foo Fighters.

In between I want to play a DVD with myself saying thank you to everyone and goodbye to all my friends and family.....now...this is were my hubby struggles a bit. I'm not too sure if it is the fact he will be making the DVD or that he will break down in the chapel, but Natalie can make the DVD and let's face it I feel most friends and family will break down anyway.

The thing is, I didn't really want (who I know would probably be a very nice vicar, or priest or Chaplin) talking about me, when let's face it, he wouldn't really know anything about me, or my life. I want to say cheerio to my family and friends myself, but I guess that is something we are going to have to sort out as a family.

Going out of the chapel will be to "Unforgettable" the wonderful Nat King Cole.

I really felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders and surely it is better for my hubby and daughter not to have to contend with it all at a time when they need to grieve.

It's all done, paid for and even though I do not want to be using it soon, I know it is inevitable and it was all made so very easy.

Linda x

Sones
Posts: 108
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 7:31 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby Sones » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:26 am

Oh Linda
I cant see the keyboard on the computer due to the tears streaming down my face. It must have been hard for you to put these arrangements in place and it sounds really lovely but like you I don't want you using it soon. Thank you for sharing.
lots of love.
Sue.xx

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:58 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby marie souter » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:32 am

Linda,

You are amazing, I know having to deal with my moms death jsut recently, then emptying her flat and she never really gave too much away as to what she wanted so we just gave her the works .. but to personalise it the way you have ... its what I would like to do .. we had a father who never really knew my mom ... who made mistake after mistake .. firstly by introducing her with the wrong name (which he never corrected) and the list goes on ... I love this .. I know it will be hard for your family but when the time comes (hopefully a long way off yet) he will find this a great source of comfort ...

hugz
marie
xx

J_T
Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby J_T » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:37 am

That sounds beautiful Linda. I think it's so brave of you to do this and glad you feel comforted by it.

I LOVE Nat King Cole and now when I hear unforgettable I'll think of you!

xxx

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby Bee » Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:55 pm

Linda,

How brave and strong are you??!!
Amazing, sobbed all the way through your post!

Bee xx

belgrade
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:53 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby belgrade » Thu Nov 21, 2013 7:31 pm

Linda you are an amazing person and very brave in making your arrangements. I think in many ways this will make it so much easier for your family when the time comes. Before Dave died, he had always said that he was going to plan his funeral and make an advance directive or "living will". This was because his Mum had died of PSP(Progressive Supranuclear Palsy), a condition very similar to Motor Neurone disease and was so distressing. We also took out a funeral plan for each of us which, ironically, was only completed on 12th. March this year and just 3 weeks later, Dave was admitted to hospital with jaundice, the first symptom of his pancreatic cancer. Events overtook us and Dave never made his plans, other than jotting down the music he wanted played. When he died we had to plan his funeral drawing on the snippets of information we had gleaned from conversations in the past. The Minister had officiated at our daughter's wedding 5 years ago so had, at least met Dave, but I know what you mean when you say you don't want a stranger saying goodbye for you. Dave's funeral went very well and was very moving, but was it what he wanted? I will never know the answer to that!
I hope it will be many years until you put your plan into place linda, but when you do, you and your family will be comforted by knowing it is what you wanted.
Take care brave lady,
Hilary x x

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby Cathy » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:13 pm

Well done Linda

I also agree, this is a fantastic thing to do. And you will know that it will be exactly what you wanted.

Jonathan has done something similar (but nowhere near as detailed as you have) and it is a relief for me to know that I wouldn't have that dilemma. He's done a cd (with his son) which has him talking, reading quotes and playing music. He has said a few times there is a bit of swearing on it so goodness knows what is on it. I have chosen not to hear what they have done. However, as I was saying, there is comfort in knowing it will be exactly as he wants.

I do think you are very brave.

Cathy xx

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby cestrian » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:30 pm

Linda

I'm sure this is a burden that you've taken from your family even though we all pray it will not be needed for a long while. Alas with PC we really do need to "do it now" as whoever knows what tomorrow or the day after will throw at us!! Keep we'll!

Anyway you've now given me my next project for when my daughter is home next week as I'll need to enlist her help. DVD a La "Love Actually" with the Bay City Rollers sounds a great idea! My very eclectic tastes in music will be more a hindrance than a help I suspect but will make for some interesting listening!!

Well done

Love and Peace

Mike

MSH
Posts: 228
Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:03 pm

Re: It had to be done so I did it

Postby MSH » Fri Nov 22, 2013 2:16 pm

Hi Linda,

Back in April when my prognosis was even worse than it is now, I did pretty much the same thing. As it happens the hymn I chose is the same as yours. The other pieces were Hallelujah by K D Lang and Brightman and Bocelli singing Time to Say Goodbye.

Let's hope they won't be needed for a while.

Mark