A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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Elaine123
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: Hell

Postby Elaine123 » Sun Jun 11, 2017 7:26 pm

Hi Vee just on to let you know I am thinking of you both....as Marmalade said you feel free to rant at anytime. I know how you feel about people fussing around I just wanted time with Pete , you decide what you want. Sending love and prayers
Elaine
Hugs x

Veema
Posts: 476
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veema » Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:31 pm

Still lots of love and positive vibes winging over to you Vee...

Vx

Veebee
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:31 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veebee » Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:29 pm

Hello all....just a quick update...The hospice at home are back in 2 X daily at our request. This weekend has been very difficult as Allan can't stand for more than a couple of minutes, even leaning on the zimmer, before he has to sit straight down again. This resulted in him getting off the commode onto the bed without cleaning himself properly. There's a first time for everything ...it's a good job I don't mind tish!! Joking aside, trying to clean him on the bed, then wash him and change him and the sheets was a bit of a feat and he wasn't really with it all that day. I felt like Nurse Ratchet bossing him but it had to be done. It's not nice telling a man who would be horrified at the thought of being unclean that he's clarted up and it's everywhere and it's got to be done.Cancer is no respecter of dignity. Anyway, I realise he needs 2 people for safety and so does he. The nurses came tonight and he's had a good bed bath and cream applied while I took myself off into the other room so they didn't feel as if I was hovering. They really are lovely people. His food intake has been virtually nil for over a week but he sits up for a while every few hours . So, that's it for now....goodnight all and take care and if you have sunshine where you live please send some to Yorkshire as it's been dismal . love Vee xxx

Proud Wife
Posts: 727
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Hello

Postby Proud Wife » Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:29 pm

I will try my very best to send some sunshine your way Vee.

You are so right about the dignity bit but so what, Allan was lucky enough to have you close by at the time.

Are you coping okay? Its far from easy on you too my lovely. I think it was a good idea for you to disappear, I did too - not only does it allow them to get on with their jobs efficiently, it gives you a break if Allan is now bed bound.

Remember to take care of yourself too. xx

Veema
Posts: 476
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veema » Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:43 am

It was the lack of dignity thing that really upset me. Nige was an intensely private person about his bum in particular, but got to the point where he didn't give a sh*t who cleaned his sh*t, which I thought was sad for him.

Keep going Vee...you're doing amazing.

Loads of love and virtual hugs

Vx

Veebee
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:31 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veebee » Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:16 pm

Hi Allan has had a bad day today...lots of ramblings and distress. The nurse has given him a sedative tonight and he's calming a little. I'll be in the chair beside him tonight and our 2 daughters are staying over. Please think of us. Love Vee xxx

Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Justamo » Thu Jun 15, 2017 11:18 pm

Of course we're thinking of you Vee. And praying for you both and your daughters. Glad he's had a sedative and even more glad that your daughters are close by.

Much love
Mo

Veebee
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:31 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veebee » Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:56 am

Allan died at 11pm. May he rest in peace. His torment is over and I feel strangely calm. His family were with him and he died at home which was his, and my, wish.

Vee xxx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Quickasyoucan » Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:20 am

Veebee I am very sorry for your loss. I also felt strangely calm when Dad died. I think it is partly because a lot of grieving is done along the way and partly because the suffering and loss of the people they were is so horrific. I'm glad everyone was there. Take care of yourself xx

stepuha
Posts: 93
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:31 pm

Re: Hello

Postby stepuha » Fri Jun 16, 2017 6:26 am

Dear Veebee, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad Allan was in peace and surrounded by family. You have been amazing at helping him through the torment. Sending love to you and your family.
Big hug
stepuha

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Hello

Postby Didge » Fri Jun 16, 2017 11:50 am

Vee I am sorry to hear your news but as you say his torment is over and I hope that will be of some comfort. Thinking of you x

Sandiemac
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 10:27 am

Re: Hello

Postby Sandiemac » Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:04 pm

So very, very sorry to hear this Vee. Sincere condolences. Sandie x

Veema
Posts: 476
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Veema » Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:58 pm

So sorry Vee...it is a strange kind of calm...I remember feeling that way.

Much love...sleep tight Allan x

Vx

sandraW
Posts: 1028
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Hello

Postby sandraW » Fri Jun 16, 2017 6:12 pm

Veebee, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely Allan, it was lovely that your daughters could be with you to support you, and that Allan got his wish to be at home with you all around him.
Your feelings will be very muddled, I can remember those feelings very well, I think that the calm feeling is because its over, finally, and you will be exhausted.
I am sending love strength and hugs to you all for the next stage of the journey, take care, love sandrax xx

Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Hello

Postby Justamo » Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:36 pm

I had a sleepless night for various reasons, and you and Allan were on my mind a lot of the time. So glad your daughters were close. I remember that feeling of calm detachment from when each of my parents died. So sorry Vee, like everybody else I'm sending love and hugs.

Mo xx