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peter2901
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby peter2901 » Wed Mar 01, 2017 4:41 pm

Thinking of you all. Hoping that your Dad can come home and be where he needs to be. God bless xx

Elaine123
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Elaine123 » Thu Mar 02, 2017 8:25 am

Just a short post to say I am thinking of you and hoping your Dad can be at home with you. I am so sorry about losing your faithful friend life just seems to keep piling on the heartbreak at times. Think inking of you and stay strong
Elaine
X

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Thu Mar 02, 2017 4:28 pm

We have been home 24 hrs. Had a bit of a worry re temp last night but dad did not have the shivers that accompanied the previous sepsis so he had paracetamol and temp came down. He has significant liver mets now and I believe that affects temp.
It is daunting to be alone with him as although he is bossy and insists on making his breakfast and all self care he only really sits in the chair and dozes. He is not in any significant pain but says he feels wiped out. This morning I jumped out of bed as I heard a crash. Both he and dog were fast asleep and it was the newspaper coming through the letterbox!
I have been tidying up the garden and my sister has been round. I just feel sad he has no interest in anything,even his beloved George the springer spaniel. He just dozes or sits and stares or occasionally tells me off

Elaine123
Posts: 204
Joined: Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:49 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Elaine123 » Fri Mar 03, 2017 8:39 am

Hi it may be a good idea to speak to the GP about his low mood as there is medication that can help with this and it may enable him to start taking an interest in his surroundings again. Pete was the exact same but he is on medication now that improves his well being and his appetite and gradually he started to take part in daily life again. None of us can ever really understand what is going on in someone's mind after this diagnosis we just need to try and alleviate the fears any way we can.I am sure the GP can be of help to your Dad.
Elaine
X

sandraW
Posts: 1033
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby sandraW » Fri Mar 03, 2017 10:04 am

Hi Quickly, as well as coping with the disease your poor Dad will be wiped out as he will still be recovering from the infection, and lets be right about it, hospitals are not the best places for getting your rest even though of course they should be. Just lets hope in a couple of days when he is a bit more rested he starts to get bossier and George gets him going again, but at the moment lots of rest is just what he needs. I still think it would be a good idea to have a word with the GP if he is as Elaine says suffering from low mood, and not just feeling shattered. take care love sandrax xx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Fri Mar 03, 2017 11:24 am

Sandra your comments were spot on. Today he was up and dressed by 730 am and I have been told off more times than you can imagine. He also had a long Skype with my other sister and Kids in oz and is generally v animated today.
He is busy doing admin stuff tho he has insisted in cancelling the paper delivery as he he "no longer needs it" and car insurance but that is sensible as it was up for renewal.
We have the hospice lady coming this afternoon so hopefully that won't dampen his mood. No point in suggesting medication for mood as he won't countenance it.
Today he is more active than most 83 year olds so I'll take that even tho I'm the brunt of the criticism for putting thing in the wrong place!! Love to all

peter2901
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby peter2901 » Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:06 pm

I agree with Elaine - speak to your GP to see if they can give medication to help with the low moods. But none of us can ever imagine what goes through our loved one's mind at a time like this. Its important to enjoy the good days - even being told off. He probably wants to feel he's in charge of his own life and being independent. As carers and family, we want to do as much as we can to make their life better but sometimes we probably need to step back and let our loved ones take the lead. Enjoy the day and the little things each day brings - memories to treasure xx

Marmalade

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Marmalade » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:23 pm

Hi Quickly,

Just dropping by to say hi and hope you and Dad are in fairly good spirits. You don't need to respond, I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

M xx

Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Justamo » Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:24 pm

Same goes for me Quickly, hope all is as well as it can be.
Love Mo

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Thu Mar 09, 2017 7:36 am

Thank you for thinking of us. Dad has had some reasonable days tho he has no real energy. He potters around the house and is still as grumpy as ever!
He has managed to catch up on a couple of emails and is still doggedly ordering milk and other things on line.
We had a temp spike last night but paracetamol brought it down. We've been told the liver can cause this.
His ascites are definitely growing but he doesn't want to consider drainage at this time due to infection risk.
We have been given a fast track care referral by the nhs which allows up to 4 carer vista a day. We have had our assessment and have a once a day visit starting tomorrow to see how we go.
I have groomed and trimmed George and am working my way through the garden. I miss my darling jake every day and am going to find it hard when I get back to oz.

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sun Mar 12, 2017 10:58 am

We are still here in a constant cycle of temperature taking as dad's temp seems to creep up in the evenings and we then take paracetamol and hope it comes down. Because of our several admissions for infection it is constantly in the back of my mind.
Dad had a bad night Friday night but we did have a reasonable day he managed a FaceTime with my aunt a call with a friend and a short walk in the garden and to the end of the street so that's a positive. Not so good today had a dizzy spell and mainly dozing in his chair. He has a low dose patch for pain now.

Marmalade

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Marmalade » Sun Mar 12, 2017 11:18 am

Hi Quickly,

Sounds like you are coming along as Dads apprentice! It's a weird life don't you think? If nothing much is happening we are anxious because we think it can't last and if something is happening we are anxious to try and deal with it, you can't really relax.

So glad Dad had a little walk and he is doing very well on just pain patches. We used paracetamol and ibuprofen as well as the prescription drugs because they work on pain in different ways. Even with the big scary drugs in place paracetamol can still help.

You are doing a good job Quickly and despite the grumpy nature of your patient, I know he is reassured and glad to have you with him.

I hope you have a peaceful day.

M xxx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:42 pm

Thank you Marmalade and I know you understand just how this weird life stage feels. Did manage a dog walk with my sister this morning but otherwise we are housebound. Just wish I'd brought more oz style clothes as dad really feels the cold so we are a balmy 23-24c inside at all times and winter clothes are stifling for peri menopausal souls like me!!!
Ps he may be dozing all day but can still give reminders re lint filters and dishwasher filters that need sorting!!!

Justamo
Posts: 465
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Justamo » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:17 pm

Hi Quickly.
All the time Grumpy is in charge of Mission Control he is directing operations and emphasising that he Hasn't Given Up Yet. Which is good. Even if he is dozing in his chair he is still running things and that shows a positive outlook.

There was something on TV this morning outside Buckingham Palace and the Australian representatives were saying that it was warmer in UK than it was in Oz. I'm glad you got off duty for a little while to take a walk with your sister, you need a little bit of down time while you are here.

I hope you don't have any temperature spikes today, because it really is time that you changed the lint filters and sorted out the dishwasher filters. I shall be checking later on that you've done it.

Take care, Love Mo

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Grumpy's Story

Postby Quickasyoucan » Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:28 pm

Unfortunately yesterday's temperature spike went up to 38.4 and did not initially respond to paracetamol necessitating a call to the hospice then to 111 then a call back from a gp. Given dad's history of sepsis we had to start him on the rescue pack of antibiotics which dad hates as it "upsets my guts". Um it's better than a trip to emergency or a rapid death.
Anyway temp declined crisis averted for last night. This morning he was quite chipper and wanted to stop the antibiotics. I had to get telephone consult with his own gp to convince him to continue. General consensus re doziness is first day on transdermal opioid patch was behind it but could also have been start of something which antibiotics now addressing.
Randomly the district nurse turned up today no one having called for a month "to look at dad's bottom". The division and organisation of medical assistance is mind boggling in the uk. It's hard to know who you should call when.
Anyway after quite a bright morning and a tiny bit of lunch dad is feeling "rough" again and has taken to his bed.
I have taken to drinking wine of an evening and given up the idea abstaining just in case of emergency since I am not able to drive anyone's car here anyway due to insurance being astronomical for non residents so at least I'll be calm if we end up in a and e!
Missing my m Jake terribly. Still have to deal with that empty house when I finally get back to life in Australia. I was going to say normal life but it won't be without my canine friend. Just me and silence after 13 beautiful years. :-(