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Dandygal76
Posts: 733
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Dandygal76 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:38 pm

It is a very surreal time after the funeral Mo... I have been reading everything but we are wobbling coming up to dad's year anniversary and I don't want to say the wrong thing which I can do when a bit emotional.

It is humbling to see so many come to say goodbye and people you have not met. I also had the 'do not touch me' thing. My best friends came up to me as we went into the crematorium (no church service) and those were my exact words.

Sometimes you have moments of wanting to write and sometimes you just can't.. we have all been there but please know that we are with you the whole way as you wander the path back to some sort of normality.

Much love

xxx

Justamo
Posts: 444
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Mon Feb 05, 2018 6:00 pm

I have coped with nearly everything, including funeral, solicitor, clearing cupboards etc, but was totally defeated last night by a half-empty tube of Nivea, and had to stop being efficient for an hour while I sat and howled.

And today I went out to buy some bread and a few oranges and bought a car instead.

Will post properly soon. Love, Mo

patrigib
Posts: 37
Joined: Sat Mar 05, 2016 7:53 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby patrigib » Mon Feb 05, 2018 7:05 pm

Mo,
You don't need to be "efficient", or a "soldier" anymore. You just have to be nice to yourself ( and Boris).
Howl whenever you need, spoil Boris and yourself. Hope the car is nice.
Hugs
Pat

Veema
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:35 pm

It's funny what sets us off...but it's okay to howl. I went round all last week wearing Nige's aftershave that I found at the back of the bathroom cupboard when I was clearing out for my new bathroom being fitted...bet everyone thought I was a lesbian (his lesbian ex-wife used to wear aftershave). I did chuck out his pile cream though!

I bought a car after Nige died too...and so did my mum after my dad died...must be the thing to do! What did you get?

Huge hugs

Vx

Dandygal76
Posts: 733
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Dandygal76 » Tue Feb 06, 2018 6:26 pm

Yes V - it seems to be moving house or cars on the whole. For my mum she had posh paving put out the front. Whatever it takes to get us through.

I did not have the cream thing but I had emergency stashes of creon eveywhere... pockets, car, little pots in the cupboard. I even found some just weeks ago (I must clean more!). My mum cried a few weeks back as we sorted out the garage and shed for the sheer number of pencils we found (he always said we had moved them and could not find where he put them)

Whenever you are ready Mo. Can you believe it will be a year on the 9th Feb that we lost dad? Where does the time go.

Much love

xx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:31 am

Mo, I hope you are doing ok. I know the weather is bitter in Kent where we hail from so I hope you and B are not snowed in.
As DG says time goes fast 23 Feb is the day I lost Jake and 24 I flew to the uk to see Dad.
Life keeps going but I still miss them both every day.
When you feel ready would love news of Boris. Btw what colour is he just so I can picture him in his sleeping bag xx

Justamo
Posts: 444
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:57 pm

I was prepared for the huge gap in my life, and for the tiredness and misery of arranging the funeral and so on.

But nobody told me about the general incompetence of the major utility companies. I've been on the phone nearly all day talking about broadband, gas and electricity. I was tired of it after 15 minutes, but had to keep going. As soon as I sorted out a broadband deal and put the phone down, someone from the same company phoned me and completely contradicted what the first person had said. And don't even let me get started on energy companies.

I'm going to have a stiff drink and a little lie down now. If you don't hear from me again it's because the phone has been cut off and I'm living in the dark.

Would anybody like a stuffed meerkat?
Love, Mo

PS - Quickly, Boris is a red-and-white point Siamese, which means that he's creamy coloured all over, and red and white around the edges. If you want to join his fan club it's £1000 a year and you get a free photo on his birthday.

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 112
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:04 am

Mo, if dad were alive he would regale you with tales of incompetent utilities after mum died. Even the funeral home stuffed up and sent the donations to the wrong charity and we had to ask for them back!!
How did I not know Boris was cat royalty? A siamese, all your tales fall into place now. He sounds v handsome. And a thousand pounds sounds like a steal! My pets currently consist of 2 'real' pleather dog doorstops. That's all the responsibility I can handle for now! Sending you courage in your administration battles xx

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Didge » Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:07 pm

Sounds familiar. All those years ago when First man died I phoned mortgage company and duly received suitable condolences and thanks for notifying etc and said they would write. They then proceeded to charge me an extra month because I hadn’t notified them and refused to back down. I finally tracked down the letter they’d written at our previous address. You’d think they’d know the address of the property they’d given the mortgage on! So yes sadly these things are a real battle and new methods of communication don’t seem to have made any inroads on stupidity! X