A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

Moderator: volmod

Forum rules
Please see the messages in our "Rules" section

The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Marmalade

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Mon Jun 19, 2017 5:31 pm

Delighted that Peter is home, you managed a swim and Boris has a new watering can. Amazing how easily satisfied we all are.

Love and hugs

M xx

sandraW
Posts: 990
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby sandraW » Mon Jun 19, 2017 8:54 pm

Glad to hear Peter is home. and keeping you on your toes. You know Boris won't drink out of the aforesaid watering can don't you, it will be the wrong shape, colour, smell position, or something else will be wrong, he will go back to drinking the slightly smelly out of its sell by date water, but you tried Mo you tried! love sandrax xx

stepuha
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2016 2:31 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby stepuha » Tue Jun 20, 2017 7:09 pm

Here is that good news I was looking for. I am happy to hear that Peter is home and that antibiotics are working. That was a quick turnaround. I hope Peter perks up soon. I am sure sunshine will help when it arrives.
I have an opposite problem, it is far too hot and I can't wait for the rain to cool us down.
X stepuha

Marmalade

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Tue Jun 20, 2017 7:27 pm

Hi Mo,

I hope you, Peter and Boris have had a good day. I agree with SandraW Boris is not going to go for that watering can, sods law. Thinking of you all as I often am.

M xxx

Marmalade

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:29 pm

Hi Mo,

Just dropped by to say hello and let you know I was thinking of you as I often am xx

Justamo
Posts: 364
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Tue Jun 27, 2017 6:46 pm

I read all your posts about the watering can to Boris, and just to show how much attitude he's got he has fallen in love with his watering can and spurns his bowl in the kitchen. Cussed or what ? Good job we can't post photos in here . . .

Off to my cousin's funeral tomorrow, so it will be a difficult few days. Peter has got steadily better, and has copious notes telling him what to eat, when to eat it and how to heat it up in the microwave. He doesn't fill me with confidence when he does things like go out for lunch with a friend, test his blood, and then discover that he's left his insulin behind. Still, at least he went out.

Will post again at the end of the week.
Love
Mo

Marmalade

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:23 pm

Thinking of you Mo and hope Peter is coping xxx

Dandygal76
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Dandygal76 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:31 pm

Hey Mo, I am glad Peter is feeling better and I am sure he will manage whilst you are away. I am thinking of you as you say goodbye to your cousin... I am sure it was a fitting send off. x

Proud Wife
Posts: 720
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Proud Wife » Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:11 pm

Thinking of you too xx

Justamo
Posts: 364
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Sat Jul 01, 2017 10:16 pm

Would you be horrified if I said I enjoyed the funeral ? It was a cathartic experience; quite beautiful, simple and humble, and very, very moving. There was a private service for the cremation in the morning; a wicker coffin, beautifully decorated with garden flowers, not a florists' wire in sight, and just a few of us attending. Very close friends, her god-children, her partner (and we have decided that we are cousins-in-law) and me. One of her closest friends who is a Minister took the service which was brief and simple and then the curtains closed. Although I didn't see them close because I always shut my eyes at that bit, and then we trooped out.

One of the close friends who attended had prepared a sandwich lunch, and although I didn't really have any sort of appetite I was swept up and given a seat and a cup of strong tea, and I was suddenly hungry, and enjoyed the lunch quite a lot.

Then in the afternoon we went off to a beautiful, really beautiful, church, and held the funeral service, only it was called a memorial service. Hymns chosen by Joan herself and a stunningly beautiful poem. An address by the officiating Minister - another friend - and a tribute from the diocesan chap; some of her medical colleagues had written pieces to be read out, and then a blessing. I thought I would be completely wrecked after the funeral and had wedged a whole heap of tissues into my handbag, but I didn't need them. The overwhelming feeling was of serenity. Afterwards we all had a nice cup of tea and more sandwiches, and then we went home.

Diane had guests staying - a god-daughter, one of her own relations, and me, so I suggested that we all go out for supper and it would be my treat. So we piled into the horrible little car which I had rented and had a bar supper and a good old talk about how the day had gone. And we all agreed that it couldn't have been more appropriate or fitting for our beloved Joan.

Of course, it wouldn't be me if something a bit off-the-wall didn't pop up during the day. As we were walking from the car park to the church for the memorial service a crowd of youngsters were handing out flowers. I thought we'd get a wobbly chorus of Hare Krishna too and was keeping an eye out for saffron robes, but evidently it was school children doing a Project on Random Acts of Kindness. So they were Randomly Kind to quite a few of our congregation, none of whom knew quite what to do with a gently dying flower which had been pressed into their hands by a small child and which they had to hang onto throughout the service (the flower, not the child).

And then the next morning I came home. Peter had managed well, but wasn't quite so gung-ho about being Home Alone as he was last month when I abandoned him to visit Joan in the hospice. Don't think I'll be making another solo trip any time soon. We've had a surprise letter today asking him to make an appointment at the Radiology Department. Probably another scan, and I expect it's a follow up to his recent hospital stay when they thought he had some debris causing a slight blockage in his stent.

Next week is the major golf tournament in which I'm involved. God knows why, I don't play golf, but I am fairly good at shoving bits of paper around and there's a lot of admin to do. I expect they asked me because I'm so bossy. Peter will take his meals at the club while I'm there, and Boo will be sulking for a week because we'll both be out. It will be 10 hour days for most of the week but perhaps it's a good thing to be busily occupied for a wee while.

You have no idea how much your kind messages have meant to me over Joan's death. It's been hard to talk to Peter about somebody dying of cancer, but I've been able to dump it all onto you, and get it off my chest. Thank you.

with love and thanks. Mo xx

Veema
Posts: 354
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2015 5:35 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Veema » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:38 am

I know exactly what you mean about the funeral Mo...because that's jyst how I felt at Nige's...it was all so lovely it was hard to feel sad.

I'm sure Boris will cope...mind you, I'm panicking about leaving Dido on her own today for 7 hours whilst I take Phoebe to a football tournament. But then Dido is the destroyer of all things paper...I'll just have make sure there's nothing left lying about...but she always finds something somewhere!

Hope your busy week goes well.

Loads of love

Vx

Proud Wife
Posts: 720
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Proud Wife » Sun Jul 02, 2017 9:50 am

Horrified? Of course not! It just means that everyone did their utmost for Joan and gave her the send off that she deserved. Mo, I'm so pleased to hear it went well. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your account of the day, with a few Mo-isms thrown in for good measure!

We were the same with hubby's funeral. We had no idea what he wanted so we planned it according to his passion for bright yellow. Everything went according to plan, we made it a celebration of his life and ended up having a good day, considering the circumstances.

I totally get what you say about being unable to offload on Peter, that's perfectly natural. I'm sure news of her passing was bad enough. That's what we are all here for my lovely. 24/7.

Lots of love
PW xx

Quickasyoucan
Posts: 73
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 10:06 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Quickasyoucan » Fri Jul 07, 2017 11:09 am

Justamo how is Peter? And how are you after your cousin's funeral?
I am crying every day over Jake at the moment. I miss him in every moment of every day. I am seeing my dog behaviourist (I know sounds weird) is n s couple of weeks to get advice about breeds and steps to successfully get a new dog given I work full time but I can't somehow bear the thought of anything but Jake. I think this is about Dad too but somehow I'm weepy about my boy. That brings me to Boris how is the watering can??

Marmalade
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:29 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Marmalade » Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:33 am

Greetings Mo,

Hope the tournament went well and that you are now able to rest a little and maybe get a swim for yourself. Thinking of you xxxx

Justamo
Posts: 364
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:38 pm

Re: Thanks for sharing your experiences . . .

Postby Justamo » Tue Jul 11, 2017 8:34 pm

I was going to post a couple of hours ago, but couldn't leave Johanna Konta alone with Peter because as well as being a darned good tennis player she's good looking, too. But her Centre Court match is over now, so I can leave Peter and the Wimbledon crowd to watch the rain, and sneak away to my study to catch up.

Phew. It's been a hectic week. Ten hour days doing the admin for a major golf week (and a good few months preparation too) but all went swimmingly (not literally: this has been the only year we haven't had to reschedule matches because of flooded greens and fairways like rivers) and the whole week was a roaring success. Because I am known for throwing my teddy out of the pram if interrupted when Doing Sums my fellow Committee Members leave me in splendid isolation to add up scores, deduct handicaps, apply Stableford rules, and come up with more or less the right answers and allocate the prize vouchers. There is a huge amount of job satisfaction to be gained from a complex administrative task completed successfully, so I quite enjoyed myself. I enjoyed myself even more when I was presented with a whopping great big garden voucher - don't know why they did that this year, but it's nice.

This week twelve months ago was the first indication that there was something wrong with Peter. Last year he played in one of the Friday matches and had to walk in after three holes because he felt so awful. Since then we've been to hell and back, met Mr Bogeyman and Dr Feelgood, sat in countless clinics and read the same Woman's Weekly in every one of them, had to buy new pyjamas because of many hospital admissions, and as a special Buy One Get One Free offer acquired Diabetes along with PC.

THIS year My Patient was able to referee one of the Thursday finals by using his expensive Trump Mobile to go round the course which was good, because it made him feel important every time he licked his pencil to record a score, and he had nearly as much energy at the end of the round as he started with. AND - he played in the Friday event with two carefully chosen partners and didn't have to be stretchered in after 4 holes. He spent two days on the sofa afterwards mind you, and had to suffer lecture number 985 from me on Pacing and Being Sensible, but it was a triumph for him really. This time last year he was deciding who to bequeath his clubs to and complaining that it wasn't worth buying new socks because he wouldn't get the wear out of them. This year he was riding about on his Trump Mobile being positive.

This may all seem rather facetious, but golf is quite important to his quality of life. I have never minded how much time or money he spends on golf - there are a lot worse things he could do instead - and the time he spent at the club this week was a testament to the good care he has received over the past year. And the reason I am not lying in a foetal position in a corner, sobbing that I can't carry on any longer, is because of the support and love that I've received from my forum family.

Who knows what next year will bring ? I don't actually care very much. I'm more than happy that today we've had an ordinary day, sitting in the eye clinic for Peter's check up, reading Womans Weekly, and doddering around the garden centre afterwards. We have lots of appointments for scans and oncology clinics and stuff, but today was alright and I hope tomorrow will be too.

This probably sounds overwhelmingly smug to those of you who are having active battles with dreadful symptoms, or who are sitting alone looking at an empty armchair, but landing on Planet PC makes you very sensitive to the little things in life as well as the thumping great big elephant in the room.

Boris has just come in to see what I am doing, so while I am counting my blessings I had better include my cat. He doesn't go in for a lot of philosophical stuff, he'd rather have a Dreamie and a game, so I'll get off now.

God bless,
Love Mo x

By the way, as I write this 'Inside Health' is on Radio 4. It's about Bart's Tissue Bank for PC and very interesting. Try to get the podcast on the BBC website if you've missed it.