A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

Moderator: volmod

Forum rules
Please see the messages in our "Rules" section

The posts on this discussion board are made by members of the General Public and are not intended to constitute medical advice
Marmalade

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Marmalade » Thu Aug 25, 2016 5:14 pm

Hello all,

Have been going through a period where there is nothing to say, ergo no posts. I'm doing ok I think, I don't really have anything to compare it with but I am functioning better than my sweet daughter who has taken it very hard. I am sleeping in fits and starts but no worse than I have been while Louis was ill. I do tire very easily. I drove and hour and a half each way to my daughters yesterday and that was quite enough, having to concentrate for that long was difficult.

Funeral is next Wednesday and I think that when that is over and everyone else goes back to their normal life the loneliness will be accentuated. I'm dreading it of course just as I am dreading the probate stuff and the disposing of his things and all the other ghastly reminders that I am only half of something.

I met with the church organist lady yesterday and inevitably cried discussing Louis' beautiful music. She has been caring for a husband with MS for years and her reaction has made a big impact on me. She took my hand and said "shall we go outside and chat while we hang the washing out?" Two women sharing a common bond and doing everyday tasks as therapy. It did help and I have a feeling we will become friends.

Our favourite district nurse dropped by yesterday after her shift. How nice is that? Just wanted to know how Suzie and I are and brought me a condolence card. Then today Louis' lovely GP rang me to see how I was, she is not my doctor and I am not even with her practice! The kindnesses are overwhelming. I am arranging to have a slap up lunch for everyone delivered to her surgery on the day of their next team meeting. It's a surprise I am planning with the practice manager.

I hope you are all surviving the heat and humidity and that DG has managed to find everything after the move. xx

Wife&Mum
Posts: 397
Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:12 pm

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Wife&Mum » Thu Aug 25, 2016 7:56 pm

Dear M

I'm so pleased you posted as I've been wondering how you were but didn't want to 'bother' you. I'm afraid I'm lousy at finding the right words, especially when someone that I care for is going through a such an awful time.

So I'm going to end here by simply saying that I hope you continue to do 'OK' but don't be hard on yourself if you find yourself wobbling all over the place. You're only human.

Much love
W&M xx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby sandraW » Mon Aug 29, 2016 12:27 pm

Marmalade,
I have just returned after my holiday, and have read your thread, I want to send you and Suzy love and hugs, your Louis, like my Trevor did it their way. Your thread is so beautifully writen and thankyou for sharing your experiences, of Louis's life and death whilst dealing with this truly horrendous disease. it will help so many people who have great fear of the end of life.
You can be as modest as you like, but you are obviously a very special person, who is much loved by those around you. As for your blip regarding seeing the love between your daughter and her husband, that's the hardet part there is to bare, the loss of, your special person, the one who knows you better that you know yourself, the one your always turn to when you have a funny story, a memory, or need a hug. I know you will cope, because you are one strong lady, and you will do it for Louis, he will be there in your heart and you have so many beautiful memories to carry you through. love your forum friend sandrax xx

Proud Wife
Posts: 740
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 9:28 am

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Proud Wife » Tue Aug 30, 2016 1:16 pm

Thinking of you tomorrow Marmalade.

Lots of love
PW xx

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Dandygal76 » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:41 pm

Dearest Marmalade, I hope everything goes as you intend it to be tomorrow. You have all been in my thoughts often and I am sorry I have not been around to post. We are here for you, whatever is to come in terms of emotions and whenever it comes. I think the meal for the GP surgery will be lovely as well.. they were exceptional to you and Louis throughout this. Send my love to Suzy as well, I can only imagine how horrendous it is to lose such a wonderful and lovely dad. x

Dandygal76
Posts: 762
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2016 9:49 am

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Dandygal76 » Thu Sep 08, 2016 1:23 pm

Hey Marmalade. How did the meal go for the GP surgery and how are you? I hope you are all doing okay given the circumstances and that the day you planned for Louis went exactly as you wanted it. You are never far from my thoughts. x

Justamo
Posts: 468
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 10:38 pm

Re: Our Journey without chemo

Postby Justamo » Thu Sep 08, 2016 11:18 pm

Hello Marmalade.

The Requiem Mass for your lovely Louis sounds beautiful, especially the Stabat Mater. Seldom heard these days. And thank you so much for sharing your very precious memories of your last goodbye.

If you are a music lover, do you know the Benedictus from Andrew Lloyd Webber's Requiem ? It's one of the most uplifting pieces of music I've ever heard. I listen to it in my car because Peter and I have very different tastes in music.

With love and prayers,
Justamo