New here

Hi I am new here and am looking for your help and communication.

My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in July last year and is on a course of treatment with two drugs. He is coping very well and seems to keep his head in the right place. He was advised not to have the whipple op as his cancer had spread. At his 3 month scan is showed that the cancer had stayed the same size and not spread elsewhere. Is this normal for the first scan as I have picked up that by the second scan we should see whether it is spreading or not. He is now on his 2nd phase and we are booking holidays - is this too optimistic . Any advice would be welcome and thank you

Hi Joyce!

Just wanted to say welcome to the site. Not that any of us want to be here, of course, but it's nice to know we can be in touch with others going through similar situations.

I'm afraid I can't help you with your questions, as my husband isn't in the same situation as yours, but just wanted to say a friendly hello and hope someone can give you the advice you are looking for.

Best wishes

Ellie

x

Dear Joyce

My advice to you would be to remain optimistic and book your holiday, it will give you something nice to think about and plan and a bit of a goal to aim for. all the best xx

Hi chinup

Tks for reply I can see your situation. Have you thought of booking a short weekend away yourself for your mum and dad as a gift. Would she accept that or refuse it? I actually zm on medication for depression which started before John was diagnosed and have been having a very hard time. I just upped my doze and was waiting for it to kick in and I think today it finally has. All depresents can have an assortment of side effects and can take 4-6 weeks to kick in so perhaps your mum did not give them long emough. It is a shame that she cannot look forward and enjoy the time now.

I hope things improve and once again thanks

Joyce

Thanks Ellie for the lovely greeting - I hope I can get a lot from this site by just talking with people.

Once again thank you

Joyce

Hi Joyce, yes that sounds like a good idea. thanks.

Anyway, good luck for your husband with the next phase of the treatment, sounds like it is stablising like my mother's, are the medics reasonably optimistic or do they not give much away? keep us posted. xx

Hi chinup

Medics said 3-12 months in September but scan was good so dont know where we stand now. Docs dont like to give a timescale do they? This is so agonising its like hanging at the gallows: don't now when to plan etc. Just leaves us all hanging. Some say that given a timescale is good in that you can plan and organise things but I look at it the otherway in that you know its going to happen but dont know when and therefore do you run around like an headless chicken planning things and wondering if today is the day, trying and failing to fill each day up with things that have been missed. Whereas if it happens unknown you think of all the things that will be missed but knowing that you could do nothing about it. Does this make sense? Sorry am I being a pain in the a... I suppose there is no ideal middle ground is there.

You said that your first husband died very young so you have been through this before. You are so strong. How long were you on antidepressants that time? I am on them now but started before diagnosis of cancer. We moved to a new area, no friends, job, etc and then cancer - wham bam. We are both at home now but I know that John would like to go back to work. We will have to see how nxt scan goes.

Well I hope I have not depressed you too much. I apprecite your time and replies - thank you

PS I hope your mum agrees to a short break - please let me know.

Love Joyce