A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby sandraW » Sun Nov 09, 2014 8:50 pm

Hi Suzanna, hope things do improve for you all, and you get more time with your husband, stay strong for those boys, take care love sandrax

peidg
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:03 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby peidg » Mon Nov 10, 2014 10:21 pm

Dear Susanna

I have been quietly following your difficult path since I joined the forum a few weeks ago and I logged on this evening because I have had you and your husband in my thoughts as no one can know how hard this is except you because you are living it. I am so so so sorry you had this bad news about the bowel cancer and that he is suffering so much. I pray that God be with you and your husband now and give you strength.
My boyfriend of five years but someone I have known for 25 years was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on the 22nd August after 8 months of misdiagnosis from ibs to diabetes to depression to chronic pancreatitis. In this time he lost 33 kilograms and is a 6 foot man. He weighs only 58 kilos now from 92 kilos. He has diarrohea daily all this time and pain. He has no energy as he has severe cachexia. He has now had 3 sessions of chemo the folfirinox therapy and this third session really knocked him hard as it increases his diarohea and he keeps no sustenance in. It is very heartbreaking to watch your partner deteriorate before your eyes so I understand some of your pain and suffering and to have two little boys to care for and your families so far away. I am truly sorry and offer you my prayers and thoughts. If you would like to I will give my email address to administrators in the future,
I am worried and heartbroken too at my boyfriends diagnosis but I try to stay positive for me and for him. I wish you strength at this time.

Bowie
Posts: 115
Joined: Sat May 03, 2014 10:35 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby Bowie » Tue Nov 11, 2014 9:36 pm

Susanna, you are so amazingly brave. I can't begin to imagine how you cope with the boys and everything. I'm also on the point of tears all the time, so do understand that and crying in secret. I also understand about his feelings of not wanting your boys to see him, James although still carrying on, struggles with the grandchildren, as they exhaust him and he has little patients or energy to join in and it's heart breaking as you say to see the changes. A big man now so very skinny, still beautiful to me, but oh this is so hard. I hope your husband is pain free and he gets stronger to spend more time with you and your boys. Fiona X

EmmaR
Posts: 197
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby EmmaR » Wed Nov 12, 2014 6:02 pm

Susanna and Fiona
Just sending you both massive hugs having been where you both are now there are no words that could possible convey what I feel would help you both .

EmmaR xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby jay » Thu Nov 13, 2014 2:58 pm

sending a massive hug to Susanna, Fiona and Emma
xxx

SusannaUK
Posts: 112
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:32 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby SusannaUK » Thu Nov 13, 2014 3:24 pm

Thank you for all of you for your messages to me! It is so good to know that people here thinking of us and I do the same thinking of each one of you!

It is just so hard! Fiona, I feel the same, my husband was a big man, now very skinny but still beautiful to me.

Peidg, I am so sorry to hear about your boyfriend have the same problem. Life is so unfair. It is just heartbreaking. And your boyfriend went through similar path with the health system, he was misdiagnosed for so long, it is just unacceptable! I am so sorry, I know how it feels to see your big man just losing weight and got so skinny. I hope you both have the strength to carry on and fight! I wish you all the best!

My husband is just weaker and weaker, still not allowed to eat only drink. He is losing weight rapidly and very fragile but still with us. Today he'd had a crazy idea and told the nurses that he wanted to come home for a few hours. They agreed and a car brought us home at 1 pm. The car will come again and pick us at 5.30 pm. He can hardly walk but managed to come up to the first floor on the stairs! He is just such a fighter! I admire him so much. He is sleeping now, boys are in the nursery, so he can have a nice rest at home. I am very happy that he could come home for a few hours because probably this is the last time he is here. I am so sad, but still keep strong. I don't know when the day comes but it will be soon, so I started to talk about his funeral with someone who will help me in this. I don't want to talk about it with him because he doesn't mention it and I don't want to come up with it until he mentions it.

Ahhh, very very hard, but you all know how I feel now, this heavy feeling on my shoulders, in my stomach.

I wish you all the best and thinking of you all!

Susanna xxx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby sandraW » Thu Nov 13, 2014 6:00 pm

Susanna, I am so glad your husband has got back home for a few hours, it will be so nice for him for there is no place like home, for all of us.
You are an inspiration with your strength and fortitude, please be sure every one is sending so much love to you all. love and hugs sandrax

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby nikkis » Thu Nov 13, 2014 6:44 pm

Dear Susanna,
You are such a special, lovely person, even now you are thinking of others!
Love to you all,
Nikki

Fifi

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby Fifi » Thu Nov 13, 2014 8:55 pm

Wow Susanna, he sure is a fighter. Was so lovely to read that he had come home.

He sounds a amazing, strong willed man.

Thinking of you and your family.

Leila xx

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby Cathy » Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:56 pm

Hi Susanna

I was just wondering how things were? Haven't heard from you for a few days and have been thinking of you often.

Take good care

Cathy xxx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby jay » Sat Nov 15, 2014 7:45 am

so glad your husband came home for a few hours Susanna,
love Jayne x

peidg
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:03 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby peidg » Tue Nov 18, 2014 10:54 pm

Hi Susanna

Thank you for your kind words even in your time of distress. Thinking of you and your husband and boys and glad too he could come home. I can imagine your heartache because he is still fighting and yet you need to be discussing funeral arrangements with a friend. How awful. This disease takes such a toll on your emotions. You are such a strong woman of courage and you give me strength because the last three weeks have been very hard and especially the last two Sundays five days after chemo when I have had to listen to my big man cry and say he is going to go anyway so why must he do this chemo that makes him so sick. It is very difficult to watch and bear. The nurses on this forum have been wonderful to contact me and give me some tips on managing his diarrhea better with Creon.

So to you Susanna and all the other people on this forum who are fighting, caring and mourning their loved ones I say thank you for sharing and creating a place where one can turn to when you feel helpless and find some small hope and comfort. Thoughts and prayers with you.

Idalina.

SusannaUK
Posts: 112
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:32 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby SusannaUK » Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:42 pm

Dear All,

My beautiful husband lost his fight today morning, 21st of November at 6.53 am. He was so brave, he was my hero, he was such a fighter. Unbelievable! I was there and one of his friends was also there in the hospice room when he had his last breath. He went peacefully, he had no pain.

He was such a great man, everybody loved him. All the staff in the hospice were crying, all the doctors and nurses, even the cleaners and kitchen staff! The doctor said that my husband was the coolest patient she has ever cared!

I am heartbroken, I miss him so much, but have to keep strong for our little boys. I've tried to explain them but they don't understand it yet.
I have a lot of help, my father is still here, my sister and her husband and my cousin are coming tomorrow and staying until Wednesday. I have a lot of friends around me, they don't leave me alone, they are amazing!!!
My husband's funeral will be on Monday at midday, 12 o'clock.

Thank you for all your support and please keep fighting, never give up! He never gave up, he was fighting and was positive until his last hours!

Thank you all again and I will still come to the forum.

Love
Susanna xxx

Bee
Posts: 219
Joined: Fri May 03, 2013 9:39 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby Bee » Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:12 am

Hi Susanna,
I rarely post now but keep an eye on the forum, I have followed you posts and am sad to hear you have lost your dear husband. Nothing I can say will help ease your pain but try to take some comfort from knowing you did everything you could and he knew you loved him, in the end that's all any of us could wish for.
I lost my husband eleven months ago, ( he was 43), I know the terrible pain, take it one day at atime and hour by hour you will manage and you will find the strength to keep going for you and your children.
Bee xxx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: My 41 years old husband has inoperable pancreatic cancer

Postby sandraW » Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:47 am

Susanna. I am so terribly sorry your husband lost his brave fight against this horrendous disease. I am so glad you have your family and friends around you giving you support at this sad time, and I know you will stay strong for your little boys. love sandrax xx