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SusannaUK
Posts: 112
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2014 3:32 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby SusannaUK » Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:47 pm

Dear Fiona,

I am so sorry to read that Jim has lost his fight with this cruel PC. Life is just so unfair! He had done so incredibly well! He was so young and handsome indeed. My tears just running down my face now because as you know my husband passed away 3 months ago and they were similar age. My husband was 41 and also very handsome man. Ahhh, I just can't believe it. Jim was such a fighter. I know what you mean when you say that people on this forum are the ones who really understand how you feel, I feel the same. You've also done amazingly for supporting him.
My heart goes out for you and your little girl. You will see how amazing she will be! My boys just over 4 now and they are doing amazing! They totally understand what has happened and they are just so brave, I am so proud of them. You will see that she will give you some kind of comfort, I feel that with my boys. It will be very hard now but will get a tiny bit easier later. I still cry a lot but feel a little bit easier than in the last two months. If you would like to contact me, I am happy to give you my email address too, just ask the moderators. I would definitely share my thoughts and feelings with you and maybe some tips to deal with this terrible loss.

I am thinking of you a lot! Be strong and take care and look after yourself and your little girl.

Lots of love,
Susanna xxx

PCUK Nurse Jeni
Posts: 1066
Joined: Mon Jun 14, 2010 1:30 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby PCUK Nurse Jeni » Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:48 pm

Dear Fiona,

On behalf of myself and Dianne, and the rest of the Support Team here at Pancreatic Cancer UK, and the wider charity, I would like to express our deepest condolences to you and Caitlin at the sad loss of Jim. Like the others, I am shocked to hear about his untimely passing - I know we had contact in the early days, and more recently, Jim with other departments in the charity, but I wasn't aware that things had escalated for Jim. Its an unbelievable situation, and I am sure a surreal one for you as you prepare for his funeral.

Jim was extremely generous with the charity in terms of using his story, photographs etc....and on the fundraising side of things as well. We thank you for this, as a family, for your time and input, which was invaluable. And for the video, which was a fantastic piece of work. He will leave a legacy for others no doubt. He was obviously an exceptionally strong man, to have carried on as he did, with such extent of disease.

Thinking of you all - so sorry again to have heard of this.

Kind regards,

Jeni Jones.

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby jay » Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:41 pm

Words can not express how sorry I am Fiona, my heart aches for you and your daughter.( My husband was 49 when he died in September and I have a 9 year old)
I promise, you will find inner strength from Caitlin. My doctor gave me a good piece of advice, just get through each day at a time, and don't think of weeks in advance.
If you would like my e mail just ask the moderators
Sending you all my love and prayers
Jayne
xx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby jay » Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:43 pm

Just read Nikkis amazing quote from winnie poo, so so true x

Fifi

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Fifi » Mon Feb 23, 2015 6:55 pm

Hi Fiona,

I don't believe we have met, but I have read your posts and searched fir Jim's picture. He was very attractive and very handsome, you must be so proud. I cannot believe how old he was. To lose any life is hard, but he was just so very young. I don't know how you are coping but hope it is some comfort that we all care so much.

I would really like to read Jim's story.

Thinking of you and your little girl.

Leila xx

sandraW
Posts: 1039
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:38 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby sandraW » Mon Feb 23, 2015 9:04 pm

Hi Fiona,
I hope you are doing as well as you can do and coping with all the arrangements.
I forgot to say in my earlier post I too would love to read Jim's story, sending love to you, Caitlin and all the family sandrax xx

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Didge » Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:27 pm

Hi Fiona - I would like to read it some time too. I'll keep it for later though as I'm not sure I'm up to it right now! Young children do keep you going through the tough times. I remember one of mine asking why I was sad saying "you've still got me!" Out of the mouths of babes. xxx

Annie14
Posts: 60
Joined: Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:19 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Annie14 » Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:41 pm

Thank you all for such kind words. Your comments about how handsome he was have made me chuckle and brought back memories of his nurses at the chemo centre who would all fight over him. They used to get grumpy when he didn't turn up in his Arsenal suit as they all liked him in that but they particularly liked it on sunny days when he'd wear shorts to chemo. I sometimes had to remind them his wife was sitting next to him. It was all in good fun but they definatly had a fight over which of them would look after him each week.

They were so amazing and genuinely devastated when they saw him on Wednesday and it became clear to everyone he had gone downhill so quickly. Once I feel up to it I will go back and visit them to say my thanks.

Nikki - your pooh quote is so wonderful I'd like to use it in my eulogy to Jim if that's okay. It really seems to sum up what I'd like to say. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. It's great.

Also, if everyone who would like to read Jim's book wouldn't mind emailing Jeni for my email address she has kindly said she will pass my email onto everyone who would like to read it. If you email me your address I can attach the "book" in return.

Thank you again. I'm coping. One day at a time. There is so much to do. Arsenal have kindly put a tribute to Jim in their match programme for Sundays game so I'm going to go along and sit in the directors box. Very kind. I wasn't sure I'd be up to it but realised very quickly that Jim would be furious with me if I didn't go. He loved his job and they have been amazing to us so I'd like to go and say my thanks in person.

xxxx

EmmaR
Posts: 197
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 11:06 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby EmmaR » Tue Feb 24, 2015 7:50 pm

Oh my dear Fiona thinking of you at this so so sad time there are no words that can really help but I can tell you it's all the brave supportive forum family who do know how you feel some just starting the cruel journey ,a lot of us still grieving and a lot still fighting the fight ,but our thoughts are with you at this moment .

Emma xx

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby nikkis » Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:44 pm

Hi Fiona,
Your bravery and strength is so inspiring. To go and watch that game on Sunday will be such a challenge I know, but what an amazing tribute to Jim.
I will be using Pooh when the time comes, and am very touched that you are too, and I am so pleased the words have brought you comfort as they have me. I never realised how beautifully AA Milne wrote, but my teenage girls looked at me strangely when I told them a big yellow bear summed up how I felt!

Lots of love,
Nikki

Fifi

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Fifi » Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:46 pm

Beautiful Nikki. x

Didge
Posts: 825
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:35 am

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Didge » Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:04 pm

Fiona, I will be thinking of you on Sunday, which I am sure will such an emotional day. I can't bring myself to hope they win (I'm a Spurs fan!) but will be with you in spirit! Lots of love xxx

jay
Posts: 407
Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:30 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby jay » Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:53 am

Fiona I will be thinking of you on Sunday. You've inspired me to go and sit in Jem's seat at the football (he was a Newcastle united fan and ive let friends go instead of me)
massive hug
Jayne
x

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Cathy » Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:10 pm

Dear Fiona

I was away on holiday when I found out that Jim had died. Like Lesley, although I didn't meet Jim on the day I was also part of the PCUK video and, those that I have shared it with since have been shocked and saddened by Jim's death.

When you wrote of Jim dying there were a lot of similarities with my Jonathan when he died last year. He was a big strong guy who looked so well for most of the time he was ill and his death came across us so quickly when he finally succumbed to the disease. Far faster than any of the hospice staff had anticipated. I think there is comfort in that and I hope you take comfort in it.

Well done on going back to Arsenal so soon. I think it will feel incredibly poignant but I am sure will be a huge comfort to you too.

Thinking of you and Caitlin and wishing you love and strength for the coming funeral and for the future. It's a tough road but take it one day at a time, it will get easier, and make sure you ask for help if you need it.

Cathy xx

Sueoliver
Posts: 519
Joined: Thu May 22, 2014 8:22 pm

Re: Husband just diagnosed at 36

Postby Sueoliver » Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:49 pm

Dear Fiona there are no words but just to say I'm thinking of you and Arsenal are sure to win on Sunday. Sue x