Jump to content

Scared for my dad


Helen_Catherine

Recommended Posts

Helen_Catherine

Hi


I have never posted on anything like this before but hoping that just making my feelings known with others in a similar situation to me might help. I have found out unfortunately that not a lot of people I know, know anything about this type of cancer as I didn't until this nightmare happend to me and my family.


My dad went to the doctors a few months ago with complaints he wasn't feeling well, the symptoms were strange, he just felt generally unwell, no appetite, stomach problems and was losing a lot of weight. My dad was trying to lose weight anyway for my up and coming wedding so we thought he was just being careful what he was eating. About a month before my wedding I was getting more and more concerned as my dad wasn't getting any better and seemed to be getting worse. His doctor kept giving him blood tests which seemed to come back ok so I asked him to push for a scan at the hospital. He then found out that he had a tumour on his pancreas and that's when my world turned upside down. Unfortunately I had booked my wedding in Cyprus and my dad was in too much pain to go. I looked into if I could cancel it but my dad insisted we go ahead with the wedding as too many people had paid too much money to get there for us and insisted he did not want this to ruin what I had been looking forward to for so long. My mother walked me down the aisle and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Fortunately we managed to get my dad on Skype so he could still watch the ceremony but obviously it wasn't the same and it was a very emotional day. I didn't find out my dad had cancer and it was terminal until I got back from Cyprus today as my parents didn't want it to affect my wedding and honeymoon. I feel like I'm in shock, when he told me I did not cry like I did when he told me first he had a tumour, or when I had to walk down the aisle without him or hold the laptop and have my photo taken with that instead of my dad on my wedding day. I just hugged him (which we rarely do) and I could see how hard it was for him to tell me, he had tears in his eyes and I knew if I started to cry I wouldn't be able to stop. He is in so much pain every day, he had lost so much weight and I know I don't have a lot of time with him left. We have booked a party for the people who couldn't make it to Cyprus (we booked this before we knew my dad was ill) so I am just hoping that he will make it till then. I have no idea the prognosis of this cancer, all I know is that it's terminal and they are doing a biopsy on him tomorrow to see if it has spread to his liver. If it has then I don't know what to expect? My parents are trying to protect me by not telling me things which I appreciate but I wish I knew what I am likely to expect. I am scared about how much pain I am going to see him in before he dies, I can't even stand the thought of him dying. I guess all I am asking for is some advise of what I am likely to expect and what I can do to help him. He can't stand to eat and he is tired all the time and the morphine makes him tired and confused sometimes. Is there any other medication to help him?


Thanks for listening to me ramble on but I just needed to get this off my chest and be listened to by people who have or are in the same situation as me. Sorry if I seem so clueless to all this x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen and welcome to the forum. Such a sad story and sorry your dad has had this diagnosis.


Not sure what stage your dad is at but it is possible, if he gets his pain under control and is fit, he may get some chemotherapy which can really help with the symptoms of this awful disease. Of course the therapy can be challenging but most people seem to tolerate it quite well after one or two sessions.


People to contact are Jeni or Dianne (details on the webpage). Pancreatic cancer is thei speciality and they will be able to help you a lot.


Also get in touch with Macmillan. They are brilliant at pain control and filling out forms for you. Your dad will be eligible for disability living allowance whatever his financial circumstances and also a blue badge which is a boon for parking on hospital visits etc.


Keep posting it will help.


Good luck


Julia

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen, I am so sorry that your dad has been affected by this illness. I was diagnosed in December 2012, luckily early enough for me to have chemo and radiotherapy. The treatment has improved my situation and health, but my tumour unfortunately remains inoperable, so I am treading water for now. As Julia says, the Nurses on this forum are very approachable and knowledgeable. They will no doubt help you to understand where your father is with his illness and advise you accordingly. Whilst it is understandable that your parents wish to protect you by perhaps holding back with the detail, I am sure Jeni and Dianne will be able to give you some clarity on the subject. It is a bit of a minefield and we have all had to do some very quick learning to understand this thing.


The nurses work normal office hours (Monday - Friday), but the forum is always open!


I wish you, your Father and family all the best in dealing with his illness.


Take care


Steve

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen,

Welcome to the forum and I am really sorry to hear your dad has this diagnosis.

I am sure your head will be full of lots of thoughts and feelings and you will be trying to make sense of it all. I didn't know how I would get through each day at first ( my husband was diagnosed in January with an inoperable tumour). As Steve has suggested you could speak to the specialist nurses and encourage your mum and dad to ask all their questions when they are at appointments. I am sure your dad will also get support from specialists who will help with things like pain control, and managing his symptoms.

All I can offer is what works for my family, take everything one day at a time, don't think ahead and cherish one another, and uses the forum, it is so supportive.


Take care and keep posting


Bee xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen. Poor you. I read about your wedding and felt really sorry for you and your dad on a lap top! We had a wedding in July and it was touch and go whether my husband would be able to go to our daughter's wedding. Then again we had a hundred mile drive, not a flight. Yes PC is a rough deal but don't panic. One day at a time and don't worry in advance. It does take a wee while to sort out pain relief. The drugs are morphine based and they cannot give the patient a large dosage right away as he will become toxic. They increase it bit by bit until you get comfortable. Make sure your dad takes plain old paracetamol every four hours on the dot. Once Bill started to do that his pain was much more controlled. Seems odd but they say paracetamol works well alongside the OxyContin. Is that what they gave your dad? My husband takes 90 mg of it twice a day whereas at first, back in May they started him on 15 mg. bit if a difference! I wish you good luck an come on here any time. Everyone is so understanding and it helps that we are all in the same boat!

Talk soon and all the best

June W

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Thanks for your replies, each one has have me some info I did not know and found it very helpful :) just knowing people are or have gone through this and found the strength to carry on every day helps! It's hit me like a train so god knows how my dad must feel.


I am going to to tell my mum about the blue badge as suggested as she has found it very difficult getting parked at our hospital so hopefully that might help! Also I don't think they have been in touch with Macmillan yet (unless they haven't told me) so will suggest that also. They tend to be the kind of people who don't want a fuss, will wait their turn but from reading a few posts on this forum I think I am going to have to tell them to toughen up and keep on at the docs etc


Steve I am very sorry about your diagnosis, sounds exactly the same as my dad. They have told him because of where the tumour is located they cannot operate but may be able to give him chemo if he his well enough which I am guessing is to slow down the growth of it if it hasn't already spread to his liver.


I am not sure what exactly my dads medication is, he doesn't tend to give me the name of it. Just explains that he is taking a slow releasing morphine tablet and liquid morphing also. I think it does help, as without it he wouldn't be able to sleep. The worst problem is that he can't eat anything. My mum tried to give him mashed potato and swede with gravy on Sunday which he was really looking forward to for once but he said it gave him a bad stomach and ended up having a really bad night :( I will suggest taking the paracetamol still though. I think he gets a bit worried about how much drugs he is taking!


I think one or the things that has bugged me since knowing he had a tumour on his pancreas was when telling people that he would not be able to make it to the wedding, they all couldn't understand why. People kept thinking that this was like some other cancers where you have a good survival rate and there are things that can be done so why couldn't he get on the plane? No one really understands how much pain he is in or how retched this disease is and I find it hard having to explain to people. I probably like some soap addicts here have especially been catching up on my coronation street with the Hayley cropper story and am glad that they are trying to bring awareness of this type of cancer. I wonder if one of the reasons why this type of cancer has such a bad survival rate is because not a lot of people know enough about it. Although I have to say, Hayley cropper looks the picture of health when compared to my dad who is struggling to even get about, he looks really old and frail now, completely different to how he was 6 months ago. Also from doing my research I have found that pancreatic cancer doesn't get enough study into it, almost like people are just written off once they know its inoperable. I am so shocked to know that with all this treatment and cures happening with other cancers, pancreatic cancer just seems to be at a stand still and has been it seems from what I have found for a long time.


Here I go rambling again, I guess I am just venting! Going through the motions, dealing with the anger!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi again Helen. First of all, I think all our friends here will agree that this forum is definitely the place for rambling and venting.... You have to get it out! People often do not understand just how sneaky this illness is. I, like Hayley look and feel normal at the moment to the point where my Wife's Sister is adamant that the Doctor's have made a mistake and I can't be ill. She however did not see me in January when I had lost 15Kg, was sleeping half the day away and had little taste for any kind of food (even beer). I was given enzyme supplements (Creons) which stopped the weight loss and my appetite started returning within a month of starting chemo. I have now put back on 13 of the lost 15Kg, but appreciate that I was one of the all too few lucky ones to have been diagnosed quickly due to the diligence of my GP who seemed to be very concerned by my weight loss. I had one of the less aggressive chemo treatments known as GemCap, which certainly did the trick for me. We are all different, but my experience to date shows that it is not always a bad journey all the time and the medical professionals have worked amazingly to buy me some time, which we are determined to put to good use.


Again, good luck and keep us posted.


Steve

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi again Helen, I know what you mean about people bugging you. People who know others who have had cancer (different cancers) and oooh, how positive such and such a person was. Well great for them! and who knows, positive in front of people and collapsing in private. Everyone is different. You can be positive and still be too ill to get on a plane. Your dad wanted that more than anything I'll bet. As if you didn't have enough to cope with without folk asking why? why? why?


Walk a mile in someone's shoes before you judge (people who aren't reading this!)


Grrrrr!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Thanks J.T for your honesty, I hope everything's ok for you in your situation. I can't help but feel very self indulgent when I am on here ranting but I am not going to lie! It helps! I do feel like I'm supposed to put on a big front for everyone and act positive cos that's how most people deal with cancer. Be positive, have hope but with this cancer I can understand how incredibly hard that is when your faced with... He's going to die and we can only try and relieve the pain now. Most people don't know what to say and i understand that, if I was talking to me I wouldn't know what to say to me either! I'm dreading going back to work and everyone asking how my dad is and having to tell people, it's in operable and will just have palliative care from now on. Before I went away and I told people my dad couldn't come to the wedding everyone was trying to keep me positive, telling me stories about a relative of theirs had cancer and then had chemo and they are now in remission etc but I just felt like saying "look up pancreatic cancer and then come back to me and tell me that". No body did hence no body understood why he couldn't make it. No body was more upset than my dad that he couldn't be there on my special day, and I just wish people had taken the time to look into pancreatic cancer before asking me why he couldn't come .


It all doesn't matter now anyway, it is what it is. I'm sure in time I will learn to become more positive and appreciate the sheer lack of control over the situation and take it for what it is and appreciate the time we have left. I really hope my dad can try and have the chemo. Nothing would make me happier than to take my dad out somewhere really nice and he could have a delicious meal together and see him enjoy his food like he used to. If he got his appetite and pain under control it would really help him. I am really glad Steve that all is going well with your chemo and I hope to have the same results for my dad! You have gave me a little bit of hope!


His biopsy that was for his liver got cancelled today because his blood levels are unsafe. He used to be on warfarin before the cancer but they have took him off that now so it probably has something to do with that. He's got booked in for it again on Friday so fingers crossed that goes ahead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen. See when you go back to work, just put your hand up like a halt sign in front of you and say' please don't say anything sympathetic or I won't be able to cope ' that's what I did when Bill was diagnosed and it was the only way I got over that first while when you are really in shock. Even get a workmate who is a good friend to tell the others not to bombard you, before you return to work.

You will soon get the pain sorted out, it takes time getting the pain and morphine matched up. In our experience the hospice nurse has the knowledge on pain control. Our girl decides what Bill needs, rings the GP and tells him what script to write.

Make sure your dad drinks lots, even cups of tea. Dehydration can happen quite quickly and that can land you in hospital on a fluid drip. You will recognise it if your dad starts to kind of talk a bit of nonsense and talks about a muzzy head and confusion. Hopefully not.

Positive attitude. Yip they all say that is key. How about what happened to us. Doc arrives at house, says all the bit about positivity bla bla.......next question and I kid you not.....have you made a will? Shit! That was harsh!

Come on here and rant all you like. All in same boat etc.

Good luck and enjoy your wedding photos, we are still looking at ours on a daily basis.

June W take care

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Hi June, thanks for your reply. I'm sorry if I seemed really angry and bitter yesterday! I am not really dealing with this how I thought I would, I thought I would be in floods of tears like when I first found out he had a tumour. I could cry then at the drop of a hat. But since I stopped myself from getting upset when he told me, it's like I have managed to block it out or something. I think my husband thinks I'm acting a bit weird considering that I have just been told my dad is going to die but keeps telling me I should deal with it however I want. Did anyone else deal with it this way or is it just me?


I am going to see my dad today so will talk to him about pain relief and his nurse etc when I see him. I 'm making him some turnip soup which he says he is looking forward to! I can't believe the doctor mentioned about a will after talking positivity! I guess sometimes people say silly things but they don't realise how it sounds x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm in a different situation as my Mum's cancer is classed as borderline rescectable, but we didn't know that for a while after diagnosis and in the immediate aftermath, having looked at prognosis, it also felt like a death sentence. I reacted very much like you. I had a couple of days where I would start crying without reason or warning. Then I had a massive low for about 24 hours where I didn't want to even talk, but when I did it was to rage at everyone. Then the practicalities took over. It was like the full weight of implications were behind a not quite closed door and every time that door threatened to open and swamp me I chose to slam it closed.


It's not being ignorant of the implications or completely ignoring them. It's like my brain is rationing what I'm coping with at any given time. Sometimes it hits me, but more generally I've switched over into a "one day at a time" existence (never really got that concept til now!).


Mum has been very similar and we have both spent time with doctors etc being quite brutal with us about prognoses at the start of meetings because they're concerned, given we're quite together and practical, that we didn't get the seriousness of it. We do, it's just there's things to do, days to get through, a new normality to get our heads round and we don't want sympathy or to give up right now.


Living with this and the treatment for this affects everyone differently. Do not punish yourself for feeling how you feel.


Shouting and raging, icily calculating, grieving for the life that was left behind post diagnosis, taking to bed and covering your head with the duvet, snapping at everyone, or having really fun happy days. As your other half said - it's all ok and if peole are not comfortable with how you are being, if you feel you're not meeting someones expectations for how you "should" feel then politely, but firmly tell them to sling their hook or take yourself out of their company. Then come and find us as you won't find judgement here, just people who you don't have to explain to before letting rip.


I hope this doesn't come across as meaningless rambles, hope it helps and hope you carry on taking care of yourself. Your wellbeing matters too!


Sarah

XX

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree Sarah. Same for me. After diagnosis bawling and crying every two minutes. Now I focus on right now and what we have to do today. It's all you can do. Bill has started to eat interesting food again yay! Made one of my wee fave recipes yesterday involving chilli, garlic, ginger etc......eaten up and no ill effects. Mind you the doctor who spoke to both of us and examined Bill this morning must have nearly gagged at the garlic. I could actually still taste it! Ha ha. I was pleased he enjoyed it. Thai green curry next.

Can't think why I am fat really? Is it the hours I spend in the kitchen, cooking and drinking wine I wonder?

June.......off back to hospital for the chemo part of the day

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yey June. Mum polished off some chilli yesterday and I'm sizing up Nigel Slater's recipe for port fillet with ginger, chilli, garlic and shallots. Mum's the cook, but I'm gettin better. As for the weight for me...the usual...the sitting seefood diet. Go figure!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Thanks Sarah, that really does help. This forum is brilliant, I have been reading posts for a while and didn't realise how uplifting it is when someone replies and you know your not alone. I totally can understand how you have been dealing with it. Sometimes I wonder how I am supposed to behave, am I ok to laugh and smile still and if I do I feel guilty. Although I know my dad wouldn't want me to be miserable. It must have been really hard for both my parents to not be able to tell me the tumour was inoperable until after I got back from my honeymoon. They know how much of a worrier I am and know that I wouldn't have been able to relax as much as I could anyway knowing he had a tumour.


I have been round my parents today and gave them the homemade soup and the hubby had made a n apple crumble for them too bless him! My dad has an allotment so someone has been digging up the veg for him and he passed it onto me so I thought I would do something with the vegetables and apples! It helps me too cos then I feel like I am helping in a small way! Just hope he will be able to eat it although my mam told me he hasn't yet as he has gone to bed tired again :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so glad it helped. As for the needing to "do" something. So very familiar with that too. Food is the biggie for me at the moment as well. Mum has a mental battle with not wanting to eat, knowing she needs to eat, but feeling ill when she does eat and worrying she's losing weight and that will affect how she can withstand treatment. She's a foody and very good cook, but I'm having to learn to be creative without discussing with her cos even talking about food is hard for her.


What a kind thought it was making something out of the stuff you were given. I'm sure, even if he didn't feel up to it tonight it was so very much appreciated.


There's some great guidance about food and meals and supporting someone with these kinds of troubles on the macmillan site and on here. Key steers that helped us were to avoid sitting down to the 3 main meals a day as a plateful and the expectations of the person who cooked can be quite daunting. Little and often can be good or more generally eating anything when you fancy it in small quantities. So, so hard as eating is a social, bonding thing for lots of us, but we now linger over a coffee and chat instead, then put dishes of little bits on the table when we're watching a really absorbing programme we both like so it's almost an ignored thing. At the moment it's crisps and dips, pickled onions, mini pork pies (with piccallili for her as chemo means she's craving strong flavours), more sour fruit like strawberries and raspberries and crispy bacon to pick at. Also found canape type bits work - mini spring rolls/prawns in batter/baby sausage rolls and similar with chilli and other sauces. My part to play is buying lots of bits and making sure she doesn't feel under duress to eat them or guily if she can't. Big change for us, but it's what works isn't it.


Sarah

XX

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Hi Sarah


Yes food is a big worry for us also. It seems at the moment all he can eat t is soft food. Anything hard at all he struggles with :( hence me making the soup the other day. Will try giving him picky food but he's so stubborn and will only eat what he wants to. Apparently he's been given supplements to help him but he won't take that either cos he doesn't like the taste of it. It's very frustrating cos I know like you said how important it is for him to keep his strength up.


He goes in for his biopsy today, so hoping that all goes ok and he doesn't have to be kept in overnight or anything.


I can't believe this is life from now on, it will never be the same again. It's certainly making me live for the here and now though which I never did before.


Xxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen


Just cope with your shock, anger and grief in the ways that suit you best! No one on here will judge you and anyone who does is no friend.


On a practical note the best thing I have had is a keyhole operation to separate the nerves coming from the pancreas shortly after I was diagnosed with an inoperable tumour. This killed the agonising pain immediately and just like magic and made an amazing difference to how I felt. Unfortunately in the NHS postcode lottery this is not available everywhere and may not be suitable for everyone - I can only speak for myself. After my first 8 week cycle of Gemcetabine I have recovered a lot of my zest for life, am eating much better and have virtually eliminated the need for any pain relief. My tumour has stabilised but I know there are bound to be twists in the tail from this pestilent disease. In the meantime I am taking each day at a time as this works for me.


Love and Peace


Mike

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Sorry for my late reply. Things haven't been good lately and my dad had rapidly deteriated. He's in hospital now getting monitored and they are keeping him in to try and do the biopsy tomorrow. He looks so ill though, he's literally skin and bone now, can't eat anything and they have him drugged upto the hilt on morphine so he's hallucinating and just falling asleep all the time. He also has a problem with his eye now which has gone lazy and he is seeing double vision, which the doctors have said he needs to see an optician but how the hell is he supposed to get to an optician the state he is in?! It's so cruel to see and I'm so upset right now, I feel heartbroken. I will mention the keyhole operation you had when I go to hospital tomorrow but I'm really afraid that it's all too late for my dad. I can't bear to see him like this. I'm thinking I might need to take some time off work cos I am un sure how long we have left now after seeing him today but I feel terrible asking for the time off since I've already been off a lot from getting married.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Take the time off. A very smart person once asked me what I would regret - missing work or missing precious time with my family. Think forward and look at how you are likely to feel.


It sounds like you have a high dose of professional integrity, hence struggling with the decision, but I really, really think you know you need emotional and physical space to be there for your family, for you and for your Dad.


Take care,


Sarah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh Helen you remind me of my daughter she to was in bits when told her dad had a mass on his pancreas with spots on liver and lungs and no operation ! But after loads of tears she as been so strong for us driving us to all appointments sitting in on consultations in case we miss something her brother is supportive but finds it much harder to deal with it , we are waiting to see the oncologist to see if he can have chemo like your dad he is tired and don't want to eat much but is trying this awful awful disease just devastates lives and it's only when you join a forum like this that you begin to understand that devastation there are times when I feel I could go for a walk and never come back but that would be taking the easy way out and after 51 years of marriage to a brilliant soul mate he deserves better than that I 'm sure that's how your mam feels so just be there for both of them and remember the good times , I say every morning to my hubby yesterday s gone, tomorrow hasn't come ,and it's today and it's now and we are here !! And please keep ranting we all have to have an outlet for our feelings and it's only those you really know the situation can help you , since my hubby's diagnose people have somehow found out and keep saying things like oh they can do so much these days arrrrh they don't know the outcome of this THING ... My rant over .

Love and Hugs to you and your Dad &Mam xx

Emma

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen


I'm sorry I've missed all your earlier posts and only just catching up now. And I am really sorry to hear your Dad is so poorly. Others on here seem to have been giving you great advice though.


I agree with Sarah. If you feel you want to spend more time with your Dad then do so. Have you spoken to your own GP? I did when my partner was first diagnosed when I was going through the stage of feeling devastated and crying all the time and she was able to offer support around work from flexible working or signing me off completely if I felt I couldn't cope.


Fingers crossed for your Dad Helen


Cathy xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Helen_Catherine

Thanks for your replies, I am finding this very difficult but you are all being very kind.


Unfortunately things haven't got any better, in fact a lot worse. My mam had a kind of panic attack on Saturday night and called me saying she was in excruciating pain in her arm, neck, back and legs. I raced round and told her to ring the 111 number. She spoke to a doctor who advised she take some ibroprofen which was ridiculous as she was crying hysterically with the pain. She took it anyway and wasn't getting any better so we rang back and spoke to a very nice male nurse who wasn't happy with how my mam was breathing and told me to take her to A&E. We got to A&E and they were brilliant and got us a private cubicle and a nurse came straight over. I think she was having a panic attack and the pains were because she was so stressed and her body just needed to let it out somehow. We told the nurse and doctors the situation and they agreed after doing tests and gave her some morphine and diazepam which calmed her down a lot and we went home. My husband was looking after my dad while we were at hospital and my dad was up and down to the toilet constantly all night. I ended up staying overnight but didn't get any sleep as I was too worried about my dad as he was trying to go to the loo but nothing was happening and he was trying to be sick. He looked like to be in so much pain as well it was horrendous to see. We rang the nurse and doctor in the morning and they assessed him and decided he must have picked up something in hospital and rang an ambulance. He's in hospital now completely shattered as he had no sleep at all and they have down tests and found out he has picked up an infection from being in hospital.


I wish I had something more positive to say to everyone but I just don't. Out family dog also has been poorly and we have found out he has a cyst and needs major surgery. I know that's nothing really in the grand scheme of things but it's just so awful how it's one thing after another. I'm managing to keep a lot stronger now for my mam, somehow I have managed to pull myself together and as much as it hurts more than anything I've felt in my life to see my dad in so much pain, the last couple of days I have had to be so strong for my mam and my brother and of course my dad. My mam is trying so hard not to cry in front of my dad as she doesn't want to upset him but she ended up so ill last night I have told her to just let it out. It's really hard for us to tell people how bad he is as well, friends and family are all asking after him and they don't know how much of a bad state he is in.


You are all right about work, I don't even know what I was thinking. My dad is so more important than what people will think about me taking time off work. we need to be together so we can be strong till the time comes. I've asked for some compassionate leave or I will go to the doctors and sign off sick. I have never had a sick note in my life but if I ever needed one I think this is it.


Anyway thanks for listening to my rants, it does kind of help me when I write this out , I'm just sorry i haven't had anything positive to say really in all of this. It's all just happening so fast, I didn't expect him to get so bad so soon x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen,


I'm sorry to hear your Mum has felt poorly. I know that panic attacks can be scary and it is clearly a stressful time for you all.


I wonder, have you had any contact with Macmillans or a local palliative care team? They can offer great support, and not just for your Dad, but for your Mum and the rest of the family as well. Your GP or your parents could refer you or even self refer. You can just google to find your local branch then give them a ring.


Re work.. Good plan. You could chat to your GP to see what they can offer and the take it from there, whatever you feel would work best.


I hope your Dad starts to improve now he is in hospital. And all goes well with the dog too of course.


Take care



Cathy xxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Helen,

It sounds like you and your family are having such a terrible time, you must be exhausted!


Hopefully your dad will perk up a bit with some treatment for his infection and you can all get some sleep tonight and recharge your batteries a little.

Carry on being strong and take it one day at a time, and yes the dog is important too, as a fellow dog owner, they are like a member of your family!!


Take care,


Bee xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. By using our forums you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.