A forum for family, friends and carers of pancreatic cancer patients

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Carole McGregor
Posts: 50
Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2012 9:19 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Carole McGregor » Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:32 am

Oh Bee - this is just too much. So much sadness. We all know the statistics but we still think that our loved one will be the exception don't we ? Nothing prepares you for this. It's clear from your posts that you and your husband fought this bloody awful disease together, as a team, and kept your children close, safe and secure throughout. May this give you the strength you will need over the next weeks, months and years ahead. It's almost two months now since my husband Clive died and in those dark days when the pain is almost too much to bear I remember that I am not alone. There are so many people who will read your post and know what it feels like to have lost the person they loved most in the world to this cruel disease.

Thinking of you
Much love
Carole

J_T
Posts: 954
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:15 am

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby J_T » Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:38 am

Bee, Carole has put it so very well in her post that I can only add how very sad I am to hear you have lost Chris. I wish you strength to get through the days ahead. You have the love and support of your family to help you through.

Look after yourself,
Much love
Julia xxx

cestrian
Posts: 220
Joined: Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:20 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby cestrian » Sat Dec 14, 2013 5:31 am

Dear Bee

Sincere condolences on your sad loss and all my love to you and your family. Chris must be as proud of your son's inclusion in the County squad as you all are of Chris and his amazing fortitude throughout his struggle with PC and its direst manifestations.

May your God bless you and give you all strength, hope and Peace.

Love and Peace

Mike x

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:58 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby marie souter » Sat Dec 14, 2013 9:10 am

Oh Bee,

What sad news to see this morning, am so pleased you were there for your beloved chris to the end I know how hard that is having just been there recently. But feel your pain so much. I got up this morning hoping to see a little message of hope from someone today and seen yet another loved one taken, so many this last month alone.
Your love for him and your children will give you strength in the days to come, his fighting spirit, determination and downright tenacity was evident throughout and its your turn to pick up those reigns where he left off, and its hard, but you will find the strength even when you think there is none, the hurt is incredibly painful there is nothing like it, and you are right nothing prepares you for it, you think you will be considering what disease they have, but it doesn't.
Take comfort that his suffering is over it helped me. We are still here for you, I know I still needed you guys when my mom passed.
I will be thinking of you all today you and your lovely family and wishing you the strength to get through the days ahead ...

My love and heart goes out to you
Hugz
Marie
xx

Jwilson
Posts: 100
Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2013 9:52 am

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Jwilson » Sat Dec 14, 2013 9:38 am

Dear Bee, I am so sorry today to hear about Chris. How he managed to work right up to so near the end is astonishing! And yourself as well I don't know how you did it. Bill was incapable of sorting out the meds during the last weeks plus he couldn't stand hence I needed to lift him to use a commode. Those poor men......what they had to endure was just horrific. Chris sounds as though he had a shocking end to his life. I'm sure you have no regrets and that you all were able to stay by his side. I was able to tell a Bill about the fundraising and he could understand at that point. Over £8000 we have reached on a donate page. He would have been amazed! From now on you have a hard road. Decisions you hoped you would never have to make re the funeral and so on. My girls read a poem called The Dash at Bills service and so so many people have commented on it. Maybe you might like to look it up. You will get the strength from somewhere to get through this next stage. Strength plus support from friends and family really helps. Then there is the form filling.....that's a whole other thing but tell you what, it keeps you very very busy.
Today I am running away from Christmas. I catch a flight to Singapore to stay with my daughter Vicky and her new husband Steve. Laura and her partner follow me out next Friday. Just could not be here at Christmas with no Bill.
Wishing you all the best for your next bit of the journey and well done for your son. What sport? Rugby? Oh Karen, Julia, Cathy and I all are in touch on Facebook. Maybe you fancy joining us when things settle or you can't sleep! Just look for June Wilson. Lisburn.
Love June x

Slewis7313
Posts: 688
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:48 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Slewis7313 » Sat Dec 14, 2013 10:22 am

Dear Bee, I really am so sorry to hear that Chris has been taken by this awful thing. Whilst there are some positive stories on the forum, losses like yours seem to overshadow them (for a while anyway). There have been too many losses lately and the timing of Chris' death could not have been worse. It was good to hear that you were all able to be with him in the latter stages and that he continued to beet the odds by hanging on in there so much longer than expected.

It is going to be a difficult time for you and the family, but I know you will be supported in particular by the lovely people here who have been through similar losses over recent times. The thoughts of all those who frequent this place will also be with you through this difficult time.

Take care

Steve
X

Cathy
Posts: 788
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:43 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Cathy » Sat Dec 14, 2013 12:33 pm

Oh Bee..

I have been wondering how things were going as you hadn't posted for a while and I was so so sorry and sad to hear that Chris had died. I cried when I heard your news. It' always seems like just when you think you can get ahead the thing sneaks up behind you and catches you unawares.

It's a terrible time of year for those that have lost a loved one, so to lose someone so close to Christmas is terribly hard. Jonathan was diagnosed just before Christmas last year which made Christmas itself horribly poignant.

I hope all goes well for the funeral and be assured Bee that you and your family will be in our thoughts at this very difficult time.

Loads of love and hugs

Cathy xxxxxxx

MSH
Posts: 228
Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2013 11:03 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby MSH » Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:24 pm

So sorry to hear your sad news Bee, especially at this time.

My condolences.

Mark

Birchen
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu Sep 05, 2013 1:53 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Birchen » Sat Dec 14, 2013 2:34 pm

So sorry Bee to read your sad post. It does however give strength to those going through this dreadful illness to read about your time as a family with Chris at the hospice. When my mother left us she spent the last week in our local hospice and being one of 6 children we all moved in for the week. We had some sad times but what we all remember now are the laughs and good times we had as a family in the hospice which will be with us all forever. Hope that you and your family will feel the same. Thinking of you all. Love Lyn x

nikkis
Posts: 513
Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2013 8:29 am

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby nikkis » Sat Dec 14, 2013 3:25 pm

My dear Bee,
I am so very sorry to hear that you have lost your lovely Chris. The courage of our men through this is extraordinary, but somehow the fact that Chris fought this so bravely must make losing him even harder, as he was obviously a very special man. How wonderful for Chris that he had you in his life too, loving him as much as you did, and I am so glad to hear that you were all together in those last precious days. I tell Paul and my girls how much I love them every day, and I guess even if our time together is cut short, we are so very lucky to have had so much love in our lives, when we see every day families that never experience that.
Take care of yourself and you children,
Lots of love,
Nikki

InfoForMum
Posts: 332
Joined: Mon Aug 19, 2013 12:01 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby InfoForMum » Sat Dec 14, 2013 6:28 pm

Hi Bee, so sad for you all. My overwhelming sense of you has been as a warm, resilient and very kind woman. Your posts helped me greatly. I know you'll get through to a place where all of you can find the joy in life again, but I'm so upset you have that journey to face.

Sarah
XXX

belgrade
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 05, 2013 11:53 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby belgrade » Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:08 pm

Hello Bee,
I was deeply saddened to read you post today and learn that your lovely husband has lost his fight, and with the approach to Christmas, it is all the more poignant. It is just over 3 months since my husband passed away and although some days are very, very hard, I have been fortunate to be surrounded by my two daughters and some very close friends. Life will never be the same again, but we owe it to our loved ones to choose a new path to follow, as we have a choice that PC has so cruelly taken away from them.
Look after yourself, and know that many of us on the forum, know what you are going through and will be here for you.
Love
Hilary

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:58 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby marie souter » Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:35 pm

Hello Bee, Mike, Cathy, everyone,

PLease all of you feel free to add me to facebook as well, my pic is an old black and white pic of my mom and dad can't mistake it ...
Bee, I know you are going to be shell shocked these first couple of weeks will be a haze for you please turn to us should you need to ...

Love and Hugz
Marie
xx

marie souter
Posts: 198
Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:58 pm

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby marie souter » Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:35 pm

You too Julia xxx how could I forget you

Sueba
Posts: 94
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2012 4:08 am

Re: Taking the plunge!

Postby Sueba » Sun Dec 15, 2013 12:01 am

Bee
I don't think I have ever posted to you directly,and to be honest I haven't really been on the forum since my husband Mick passed away just 4 weeks ago.
I'm so sad and angry that another "hero" has been taken leaving a big hole in our lives.
The only comfort I have had recently is that we truly did everything we could and I like you had the time together to really say how we felt about each other and he was always telling,our 3 boys how proud and how much he loved them,maybe not something said enough when you have a busy life.
I can't offer you any advice for the next few weeks,it is not a nice place to be in but whenever I've been in a particular dark place I've thought of our children and how he lives on in them and how I had promised to look after them.....
Micks funeral was a cremation followed by a service to celebrate his life.It was perfect,tears,laughter and love!our 3 sons (age 13 to 18) spoke,making everyone laugh telling funny stories about their dad/hero they did us all proud!!i look back at it now and am proud that it was so perfect!
I've found great comfort talking to my friend who lost her husband 7 weeks before Mick died,he died from skin cancer and was also in his 40s,we can say things we can't really say to others,no one understands what it's like to lose their best friend unless it has happened to them.
So take care of yourself,become selfish!! Say no to some visitors!!and if you would like a chat anytime I too am on Facebook under Susan Barsby,please excuse any naked photos,we have done a charity calendar for PCUK which is now his legacy......
Much love and hugs
Sue
Xx