Good evening all,
What a day..stuck in school with my kids all day doing reports interviews and the like, seriously all I could make out was the teacher was moving his mouth, sound was coming out but I had no clue in hell what he was saying, just kept eyeing the clock thinking "I gotta get back to my mum!!"
Iam sure he was saying something important but since mums diagnosis I've developed a pattern of drop kids off at school each morning and speed over to mums house...I drive soo fast and she's just like 5min away, don't know why I do that!! give her breakfast and clean up a little then sit down with her and see "how she's doing". About 2pm race back home to cook something light for dinner, pick up kids from school, feed them, wash them, listen to their day as i fold washing or hang washing (washing NEVER ends at my house) then race back to mums after tea to see she's still alive.
Been doing alot of racing around, like everything has all of a sudden become urgent, nothing can take up any time because I feel like that time is owed to mum. Is that weird? I seriously gave everything up in my life or put it on hold because I dont want to miss a single second, I want to soak in every second with her, every minute is precious now.
When I think about it it's really silly because most of the time she's either resting or sitting quiet, it's not like we are making unforgettable priceless memories together, I just feel secure being near her, even if we don't say a word to each other.
The time Im not there I miss her soooooo much like Iam sort of trying to get used to the idea that sooner or later she wont be there... I am soo cruel arn't I.
How are you all doing in the situation you are in? I hope you are having some warm sunshine and blue skies, smiles and good times. That's what I wish for all of you suffering with your loved ones from this nightmare. As much as I wish my mum was well, I also wish for your mum's and dad's to be well. PC is not fair, it doesn't give you a chance to try, it's a blow that pierces straight to the heart because hands are tied, frustration settles in and emotions are ripped apart.
With all the things on offer regarding medicine and the like for PC, each has it's own list of pro's and con's. Some offer promising hope others are just fake and downright inhumane. I know somethings we are trying are not proven, or the stats dont quite make them the "best choice" or reaserch is not complete whatever whatever but whats our other option?????
I'll be frank, Iam clutching at straws and willing to take any little bit of hope out there. Honestly I dont think Gemcitabine is helping because her pain has increased when it should of decreased. She's taken on board ALL the side effects around, is suffering from everything ten fold due to her drug sensitivities so if alternative helps even a wee bit, then alternative it is. Jeni you asked about her enzymes. Here is a run down of the product. Its called Digestaid, made by a company called Eagle. Ingredients are:
Each tablet contains:
Betaine hydrochloride 300 mg
Pancreatin (porcine) 200 mg
Pepsin (porcine) 100 mg
Sodium tauroglycocholate (bovine) 50 mg
Papain 30 mg
Bromelains 20 mg
Potassium (as chloride) 13 mg
Chromium (as amino acid chelate) 200 mcg
Gentiana lutea (Gentian) root 20 mg
Foeniculum vulgare (Fennel) seed 2 mg
and essential oil:
Peppermint oil 1 mg
and regarding the Ukrain I found this, (don't know how viable the source is):http://www.ukrain.ua/mainnew.html#pancreas
Like everyone in this situation..we are trying..and try we will, life is precious and giving up is not an option for me at the moment.
Rambled till your eyes dropped off ey?! hehe sorry (again)